Capacity to accept yourself for who you are - that seems fairly synonymous with self esteem to me. An internal state, driven by internal processes.
Societies tends to accept anyone for who they are (or who they present themselves to be) very quickly and easily. It does not follow that society will necessarily view that person with positive regard however.
I can see how a person who cannot accept themselves might try to escape that by denying the existence of what they cannot accept. Which would necessitate fitting themselves to some other mold, then convince themselves, that the mold is their authentic self. A virtually impossible task, hence the pathological behaviors that grow around it, as a source of habitual reinforcement; plus an insatiable thirst for external validation of the authenticity of their mold.
If I'm even partially on the right track with that, well, that would be so heartbreakingly sad that I lack the words to express just how much so.
It would also make it very cruel to humor them with validation, and even worse to encourage it with support. Seems nice on the surface sure, but only deepens and lengthens the misery.
See, wouldn't it be the case that if good self esteem was the starting point they would just happily think of themselves as a bit of a girly man or as a tom boy, and be satisfied with that, and go about their life without the whole 'transgender' persona ever being useful, desirable or necessary?
