god doesn't just have a dick. she has the biggest dick.
alasdair
alasdair
-
P&S Moderators: JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat
Does God have a dick?
- Thread starter birdup.snaildown
- Start date
Now I am scared, haha
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
Pfft, you're clearly not a Christian.
God is far too awesome to simply be asking if God's a guy.
The proper question is what are the sexes of each member of the trinity.
Now the son is easy, but does the father have a penis too? And the holy spirit? That's the question to ask!
It's entirely possible that God could be as many as 3 penises in one!
Now that's the proper theological way to debate this! :D
God is far too awesome to simply be asking if God's a guy.
The proper question is what are the sexes of each member of the trinity.
Now the son is easy, but does the father have a penis too? And the holy spirit? That's the question to ask!
It's entirely possible that God could be as many as 3 penises in one!
Now that's the proper theological way to debate this! :D
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
God is gender fluid
birdup.snaildown
Greenlighter
Hrm, good point @JessFR. Jesus must have had a penis. I didn't think about that. I wonder if he was well endowed? I kinda doubt the holy spirit was packing an ethereal sausage but you never know. I've always thought that spirit guy was a bit creepy. If the holy trinity ever tried a threeway, he'd be the one standing in the corner watching and muttering to himself.
I thought they spoke different languages, hehe
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
if the trinity ever tried a three way? Blasphemy! This is a serious theological discussion!
Now you're right that the holy ghost doesn't have a dick. That limits the lord our God to at most 2 dicks in 1 all loving perfect eternal God.
Jesus's dick is indisputable as well, and no doubt it was enormous being that it belonged to Jesus.
So the big question (no pun intended) is does the holy father have a dick?
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
The trinity is God, Jesus and the holy spirit? right? what's the holy spirit? what is it? A female god?
Did god impregnate Mary with his Godlike penis?
Did god impregnate Mary with his Godlike penis?
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
The only different languages that exist are because people offended God with the tower of babel. So he confounded the languages to ensure we would never work together again!
Cause he loves us so much.
There is only 1 God! In three forms.
THAT'S NOT POLYTHEISM SHUTUP. :D
birdup.snaildown
Greenlighter
SnafulnTheVoid said:
I guess if the holy father was a woman, Mary would be bisexual? Although, come to think of it, she was raped by God wasn't she? I mean did she ever actually consent?
SnafulnTheVoid said:
Always wondered the same thing.
It's just some vague half-baked thing.
Does the Bible ever bother to describe it at all?
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
It's like female on male rape, there's a double standard when it's God on mortal.
But no she didn't consent.
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
OK you know how we have Jesus, the dude the Roman's crucified.
And we have the father, that dude in heaven who acts like trump.
And finally we have that God we pray too and pretend we can hear talking back to us?
That last one's the holy spirit.
The holy spirit is your dad's once a year postcard serving as an alternative to having any place whatever in the rest of your life.
The father is your actual dad off sleeping with people who aren't your mom in another country.
And Jesus is his resulting bastard child.
It doesn't
birdup.snaildown
Greenlighter
JessFR said:
Such high praise for the Donald.
Gormur said:
I don't think it's supposed to be the ghost of Jesus...? If that was the case, it would be a holy duality because Jesus can't coexist alongside his ghost. Maybe it's Jesus' half brother from God's first marriage and he's the black sheep of the family and they don't talk about him much?
We're getting off topic, though.
I want to know about God's one eyed snake!
Can it talk like the one in the Bible?
Does he ever experience erectile dysfunction?
These are important questions.
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
Such low praise for God.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
To seriously answer the question, it's because the concept of the Abrahamic god (Islam, Christian, Jewish) was created by a heavily patriarchal society. The supreme being had to be a man, because the leaders of humans were men, and kings. Hence, "the king of kings". many other religious faiths are not monotheistic, in fact that is a relatively uniquely Abrahamic view. Most other religions have been polytheistic, with both male and female gods.
JessFR
Bluelight Crew
And just as we are in God's image, just like kings of old, God's a misogynistic rapist.
But fear not. There is an angel who will fight for your freedoms! Who will stand up against the tyrant dictating over heaven!
Become a theistic Satanist, and become a part of the revolution!
The Father, the Son and the Holy Sheath