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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Tell a shit joke

There actually was a chicken walking across the road (well, kind of wandering around in the road) when I was driving through a little village earlier
I of course immediately said 'why did the chicken cross the road?' to my passenger who could only come up with 'because nobody cared about it', which I disagreed with & reckoned it had just got through a gap somewhere
Unfortunately, neither of us took advantage of the real-life comedic opportunity, so this is such a shit joke it hasn't even got a punch line, sorry
 
Why did the head of the DEA cross the road?

Because he was too much of a fucking chicken(shit) to admit that his life is such an epic failure.
 
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because it was busy trying to rescue its little kids I have tied up in the basement being raped to death slowly.
 
How many rolf harris victims does it take to screw in a lightbulb? about 53. 3 many years ago and the rest once it had become far more profitable. (bad taste, I know)
 
An American and a brit walk into a bar , the brit asked the yank "so what do you think of brexit?" The American replied "the exit is over there stupid" and pointed to the exit sign. Get it....the American doesn't know what brexit is because he is American so he doesn't listen and doesn't know about current events outside america. brah brah brahP.S>I"m american
 
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
 

A guy is getting arrested​

The guy says: Officer, why are you arresting me? This is **medical** marijuana, I have the card right here in my pocket.

Officer: First of all this is crack cocaine. Secondly, that’s a Pokémon card.

Never hide regular cocaine in your butt​

Charges will get elevated to possession of crack cocaine
 
Heard of the two gay Irishmen? Pat Mcgroin and Ben Donegan

And the gay ghosts - gave each other the willies
 
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