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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Opioid withdrawal hell.... again!

Really it's impossible to say what you can expect with regard to withdrawl. I read all your posts and have a rough idea about your useage but it's likely that the dhc is holding you for now. They used to maintain people in prison on dhc years ago and that's people with much longer lasting and heavier habits than yourself.

You're still a young lad with only a short period of use behind you.

One piece of advice though and I pray you take it...

Opiates to say deal with a shit life situation are a false panacea anyone who tells you different doesn't know what they are talking about.

My own situation was different as my opiates came from a pain management clinic but I was in pain management for 20 years and I wish I had done things differently...

You will either wake up in 20 years with lots of regrets or if your really unlucky not wake up at all.

You've got my personal details so feel free to contact me anytime about anything

Take care brother <3
 
I obviously don't want to make some mad promises right now that I can't commit to, but once I've got the physical side of things sorted out I definitely intend to address the (long-term) psychological side.

Raking through the bins for dirty foil, going through my parents private devices, lying about where I am while squatting around the side of the house in the pouring rain for hours waiting on drugs I know have a very real possibility of making the situation worse if not handled very carefully (I'll be taking Julies advice on that one)..... not to mention the frustration of realising it was all for nothing and I'm going to have to repeat the cycle tomorrow.

Yeah don't worry brother it is slowly sinking in...... this is no way to be living my life.

UPDATE 11pm(ish): Don't know if anyone will see this but thought rather than bumping the thread I'd just leave an update here. Have just taken 30mg diaz, but have managed to stick to no DHC since my 45mg around 11/12 hours ago. Still feel basically fine, a lil sweaty and stimulated but the diaz should sort that (and I will probably throw in a bit of hash before bed as I have done in previous nights... had a bit earlier actually when my parents were out without the diaz actually and even then wasn't feeling particularly anxious). So yeah, basically I'm surprisingly hopeful that I might manage that full 24 hours without dosing. And if I do, if nothing else I'll have gained a better idea of how rough the next days will be.

But overall feeling pretty optimistic about the situation in general now than I was at, say, the start of the day.... You guys (Fug, BigG,.... sorry if I missed anyone but can't be arsed scrolling up lol) have done a great job of helping me get my head straight and prepare for what is ahead.
 
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ordinary mind said:
Interesting.... OK I might actually be up for trying this.
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What have you got to lose? 1 day.

ordinary mind said:
Out of interest fug, what did your DHC taper look like? At what dosage did you drop off?
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Similar to what I said before:

If you taper down from 120mg twice daily, to 30mg twice daily, I'm guessing at most you'll have a day or two of sweats/chills maybe some stomach cramping and that's about it.
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But I fucked it up and just ended up dropping down from 120mg once a day. Literally was one day of some chills and some shits.

There isn't really anything anyone can tell you re: quitting smack, it's gotta be your decision to make / stop ordering, and unfortunately the majority of people end up learning the hard way. Still, a lesson learned I suppose.
 
Allright guys, i shouldnt be addicted to benzos as i only restarted clonazepam sunday, i was going trough methadone withdrawal and togheter with loperamide it was pretty much gone, ran out of benzos yesterday ant felt shitty last night, benzos seem to completely take it away tough, but it was withdrawn of benzos for more then a week so im wondering wheter it was lingering methadone withdrawal? even tough benzos supress it.

All i took was a top of methadone a day, a bottle lasts me 2 weeks lol, im probably buying more methadone tomorrow, i will combine it with DXM to prevent tolerance and perhaps fully withdrawal me.

If i had acces to ultra low dose naltrexone i could easily withdrawal that way, atleast according to my hypothesis based on research and a couple abstracts which pretty much dont mean that much.

Dont wonna buy heroin the stuff is to sedative and i cant catch the smoke with my mouth, too complicated lol. (im a upper guy)
 
MeDieViL said:
Allright guys, i shouldnt be addicted to benzos as i only restarted clonazepam sunday, i was going trough methadone withdrawal and togheter with loperamide it was pretty much gone, ran out of benzos yesterday ant felt shitty last night, benzos seem to completely take it away tough, but it was withdrawn of benzos for more then a week so im wondering wheter it was lingering methadone withdrawal? even tough benzos supress it.

All i took was a top of methadone a day, a bottle lasts me 2 weeks lol, im probably buying more methadone tomorrow, i will combine it with DXM to prevent tolerance and perhaps fully withdrawal me.

If i had acces to ultra low dose naltrexone i could easily withdrawal that way, atleast according to my hypothesis based on research and a couple abstracts which pretty much dont mean that much.

Dont wonna buy heroin the stuff is to sedative and i cant catch the smoke with my mouth, too complicated lol. (im a upper guy)
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I dont know mate. I came off 180mg of methadone last year and my wds lasted 8 months. I know youre only taking a tiny amount but still methadone withdrawls are just never ending.

The most striking part of the wd for me was the crippling anxiety it caused so I guess benzos would help with that. I can't use benzos and I had to get 100% clean for work.....

It was rough....
 
Hi all. I need someone's help. There's no one I can talk to, and I need that badly. I must get off a really bad oxy 30 addiction. My savings are zero, my girlfriend doesn't know and is starting to wonder why I'm broke. My parents are wondering the same thing. I can't talk to them. What I need is somewhat of a support system. I will give my email address, my phone number, anything. I need someone to help me. I know it's a lot to ask, but I just need someone to talk to.
 
Morning all :)

Yesterday, my plan was to hold out a full 24 hours after my 11 o'clock/midday 45mg dose of DHC to see how I feel. I didn't take any throughout the day, but after taking 30mg diaz for sleep found myself in bed with a racing heart and body temperature so unusually high that I actually got out of bed to double check I had reset the heating timer when my parents got back from Paris. [EDIT: I should note, I didn't notice any other major symptoms up until this point] So I caved, and took a single 30mg DHC tablet which did the trick and I got another mostly full night sleep. So good and bad news there, rather than beating myself up about not sticking through the full 24 hours I'm going to focus on the fact that I still feel find this morning. Therefore, 75mg DHC over a 24 hour period was sufficient to hold me. Compare that to a few days ago where 240-300mg per day was needed for the same job. Seems like a step in the right direction to me.

So I now have 5 30mg DHC tablets remaining. My plan is to simply take one as needed until they are gone. I am two minds about missing my morning dose and doing the full 24 hours until around half 1/2 in the morning (when I caved last night).... a sound idea in theory, but I have a strong feeling my anxiety is going to kick in bad in about an hour when it comes close to mailtime once again.

Anyway, at the current rate of how well the DHC seems to have been holding me, my plan (if I am able to retrieve the letter) is to move it unopened to the attic of our garage. In order to get there, I have to either go through the room that generally at least one of my parents will be sitting in during the day. If I try to sneak out at night, there is a light sensor which is highly visible from my parents bedroom window. The garage door is also rather loud, as is the gate to the garden from the front of the house. With all this in mind, in conjunction with my own paranoia, I think this should be a pretty good deterrent from trying to access the gear while completing this DHC taper. I realise it is only a temporary measure, and not foolproof as there may be times when both parents are out.... but I think combined with my current determination to get clean, it should do the trick until I can move it to a further location.

Happy friday all, hope you're feeling better today BigG :)
 
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You sound pretty miserable with the situation. You know your own capabilities best, but have you thought about flushing the gear? You seem to spending all your time thinking about WDs (which makes it worse) or coming up with detailed plans to make it inaccessible.
 
Tinker55 said:
You sound pretty miserable with the situation. You know your own capabilities best, but have you thought about flushing the gear? You seem to spending all your time thinking about WDs (which makes it worse) or coming up with detailed plans to make it inaccessible.
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It probably sounds like I spend all my time thinking about WDs because this is a thread specifically about that subject? I might post in it a bit unnecessarily often, but in a way it is my way of venting about the situation. There are only 2 people in real life that know what is going on, and I'm often not comfortable beginning a dialogue with them about it.

I'm not really posting anywhere else on the site much at the moment because I am actually pretty busy IRL, which does keep me distracted from thinking about the situation pretty well. I would be lying if I said it wasn't concerning me at all. Obviously it is, but that's just part of the package.

Yes, I have thought about flushing the gear. I want to be certain I'm not going to go into withdrawals in the same vain as my b_f withdrawals in the coming week or so before I commit to that.

(Sorry if that answer sounded cranky, it wasn't actually intended that way!)
 
No, you don't sound cranky. I understand this is just what you are posting in a short period. I was just thinking about you spending 2 hours in the rain the other day.

Hope I didn't offend you.
 
Lol, no the 2 hours in the rain yesterday (and I am preparing to do the same today) is a perfect example of the type of antics that this lifestyle has driven me to - and a perfect example of why it needs to stop. Honestly, at this point my parents suspicions over the strange package is more concerning to me than not getting the gear. Also, if my dad was to return it to the delivery office and it was opened (which I believe is the procedure if there is no return address), does this mean that I could be liable to get in legal trouble. Would I need to wipe tor and evidence off my laptop? Probably my paranoia again, but I can assure you this is the worst part of my experience at the moment. The withdrawal symptoms I have experienced so far pale in comparison to the anxiety of the situation.

You didn't offend me, any advice at this point is appreciated :)
 
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - MISSION:INCREDULOUS. "AQUIRE MORE SKAG WHILE TRYING TO GET CLEAN."

As much as I appreciate how much of a risk this strategy is to my recovery, I have to admit after 2 attempts of freezing my arse off for approx an hour and a half a piece, looking like a suspicious burglar hunched over hood up in the alley beside my house, waiting for the postie (who, despite being a lovely lass who must think I'm a total wierdo after we've exchanged pleasantries as I leap from round the corner just as she reaches our box, managed to deliver the post at the later end of our approximate delivery time on both days).... I am fucking relieved I now have that safety net. Also, concerned at the potential implications.... but relieved that the possibility of my situation becoming critical imminantly at a terrible time has been overcome. This post probably sounds a bit too overexcited given the circumstances: but believe me those last two hours were simultaneously the most boring, slow and uncomfortable while paradoxically being on edge the entire time.

I actually did open the envelope to check the contents so I can finalise and leave feedback. The vendor was kind enough to send out half a gram of furanyl fentanyl as a sample. That went straight in the bin. I wouldn't even gift that shit to an opioid experienced friend after my experience with butyr fent.

I am unable to move the H to the attic right now due to parental presence, but I've not been tempted (probably partially due to the fact that I just took a 30mg DHC before going out into the rain, thus my opiate craving was slightly minimised). Honestly, I reckon I'm actually getting more relief from the fact that cause for anxiety has been removed that I would from any opioids.

To summarise: the gameplan remains the same, I will take a single 30mg DHC as and when needed. I actually still have 5 remaining as I miscounted earlier. Hopefully (and judging by how my taper has gone so far, this could be the case) I will jump off the 30mg with reasonably minimal symptoms. In that instance, the heroin will be disposed of immediately before I even give myself the time to reconsider. I admit it might have been a bit of a foolish purchase caused by panicking/overestimating the severity of my situation. Nevertheless, I feel a lot more relaxed now that I have that safety net, given my current expected responsibilities and life circumstances.

I will keep you up to date with how I get on. :)
 
Well done, just submit to the lapse for the time being and try again next week.

I'm having a naughty one tonight after I've given my new computer game a good rinse. I know that objectively what I'm about to say is horseshit, but IMO I've earned it for one night based on my own, self justifying stupid junky brained behavioural patterns and cognitive thinking.
 
steewith2ees said:
I'm having a naughty one tonight after I've given my new computer game a good rinse. I know that objectively what I'm about to say is horseshit, but IMO I've earned it for one night based on my own, self justifying stupid junky brained behavioural patterns and cognitive thinking.
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Haha, I'm all too familiar with that. From what I've read about your own current situation, it sounds like you've really committed to staying off the gear when the time comes so I suppose you may as well make the most of being able to get away with a bit of use before that tap gets turned off. However, perhaps when the time comes for us to celebrate your getting off the done/opis, we should celebrate with a tray of 1p, rather than a tray of gear! %)
 
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My experience has generally been that comsuming a small quantity of opiates in a single session does not create serious symptoms following discontinuation. Which makes sense when compared to what is observed in nature. It is reasonable to suppose that without the trappings of civilisation, our prehistoric ancestors might have been more often exposed to endorphin-rush-triggering life-or-death situations than we are -- and the ability to get over one hazard in time to deal with the next is definitely selected for.

However, the qualifier in one session is an important one. Aim to be breathing out last breath of the built-up bonus beetle within 4 hours of first flicking a flame and applying fire to foil. If you draw it out too long, you risk disrupting your body's normal endorphin production ..... Otherwise known as withdrawal symptoms.
 
Even tho I'm really sensitive to the kindling effect now Julie (or I was last time I was 'clean' so I expect I will be even more so after I get off the glugdrug), I've generally been ok chipping for about 48 hours, its after 3 days of consecutive use that the collywobbles start to re - emerge big style.
 
Hmm, well I must admit I cracked the gear out this morning. Went for a cycle with the fam, and even though it wasn't much (12.5 miles at a leisurely pace) I decided things were getting a bit rough for 30mg DHC. Didn't smoke much and haven't touched it since. Would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy myself though, so admittedly I was very much more on the 'high' side of things than just 'maintaining'. Oh well, will take a couple of smokes out the bag and move the rest to the garage attic while my parents are out this evening. That way I'll be prepared for feeling rough at an awkward time, I.e. Fathers day meal out.

I suppose the real test of willpower will be avoiding ending up smoking a bunch while I'm in the process of moving it...
 
I'd try not to keep overthinking it all OM and just take it as it comes. If you don't want to be rough for FD save a few lines to hold you tomorrow. There's no point in trying to have a 'relaxed' smoke tonight if you are already second guessing how dodj you may or may not be feeling tomorrow - going in circles is an occupational hazard for us opiophiles but you sound like you tied to the platter of a Technics 1200 series turntable with the 360' turns your outlook is doing at the moment.

(The 1200 series were famously marketed by demonstrating that they have the torque to support and rotate an adult of average mass - I fucking love those machines)
 
But Stee its Fridayyyyy! :(

Nah I think I shall be cool holding out till tomorrow, have felt grand today (for obvious reasons), so I'm mostly just grateful I feel dandy enough for maybe a bit of hash or a beer. Or maybe even just a good film. Why does my mind always turn to drugs when I get some 'me time'

Also awesome factoid btw

Edit I just realised it isn't Friday lol
 
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