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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

Thanks for the support... I didn't find it patronizing at all. All that matters is that I know I currently can't control my drinking. Maybe eventually that could change, maybe not, but that's a different story.
 
closeau said:
You can do it buddy. Sounds like you just did 1st step, "We add uttered we were powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." That was admitted my phone screwed up. Your post just covered both of those things. I'm not an AA thumper or anything but when I did 5 detoxes in 2 months they def looked better than that. At first it was weird being around people but usually someone grabs you and takes you under his wing. I'm just sayin I found it really helpful. If you've been thru AA I apologize for patronizing you. You could try outpatient counseling. I just don't know your situation. I know one thing, you can't do it by yourself man. Going back to where you live what do you do? Drink. So change is needed to stay sober. There's a it of keys to it but that one. Change is imperative. Not so much a geographical change but a chane inside which I'd hard to do if you in the same place eating same food. Change is impossible


Man if my sponsor woulda told me to jump off a bridge I would have. That's how desperate I was not to drink. It had destroyed me. Dam near lost everything except a couple family members and when I went to my first rehab I had a 6 month old daughter. God sparred her from seeing her daddy drunk and she never has. She's almost 10 now. Wow!! Still lived far away but I'm gonna move out there this year after class. Finally all the planes and saying goodbye are done. I haven't had a drink I a long time but time isn't important. The quality of you sobreity is the most importation. Don't think cause somebody who has 20 years is happy. Find your purpose man you have one. A reason to get out of that bottle. You can do it man. It's dam hard but it's not impossible. If you need anything from me just message me and I'll do what I can. Keep your head up man
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This rang so true on my ears. I have had bouts of sobriety....well I can't even call it sobriety. I just wasn't using. I have had times of not actively using, but I was so miserable that I found it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I transferred my drug addiction over to work and spent all my time at work. Why you ask? I had not worked on the problems that caused me to want to escape in the first place. I was trying desperately not to feel all the negative feelings I have had my entire life. Working was just a way to take my focus away from truly healing. Yeah everyone around me thought I was doing well, but truly I was dying inside. This time I definitely try to do things differently. When I feel something I talk about it.

@Nutty: You got this man. What are you willing to do to not drink? Ask yourself that question in the mirror everyday and then do what you tell yourself.
 
manboychef said:
@Nutty: You got this man. What are you willing to do to not drink? Ask yourself that question in the mirror everyday and then do what you tell yourself.
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Thanks. What am I willing to do to not drink? Not drink I guess would be the obvious answer.
 
Yup, we can help. You have to be willing to go thru pain to be happy but not that much pain. Just taking a good look at yourself and being honest with yourself and those around you. It's hard but not undo able. Keep your head up and be kind to yourself. You have a physical disease also talking to a psychiatrist is imperative at your point. They can help so much. You may be fine but if you're not your treatment starts they're.. Keep checking in and were with ya
 
Well I don't agree that alcoholism is a disease like AA likes to preach, but we don't need to argue about that. I personally believe alcoholism in my case is just a symptom of a much bigger problem, i.e. severe depression, anxiety and most likely bipolar II. But I do agree with you that if I'm ever going to fully beat it I need to address the underlying issues. I personally believe that's the case with a lot of alcoholics or addicts in general. I don't remember the percentage, but it seems like I read somewhere an awful lot of alcoholics were also found to be clinically depressed.
 
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Yes that's very true and if you treat the addiction first you just go in circles. I personally think every addiction treatment should start in a shrinks office. That way if there is underlying issues they can be either talked about or medicated, usually the latter. Honesty is key to any kind of recovery. When we're out there drinking were lying and cheating and some stealing. That was just me but I never really met anybody who's sober now who said they were honest while drinking. How longs it been for you now. I know I said time isn't important but in the beginning. It was for me. Marking days off calendar gave me confidence. Look into shrinks then like an addiction coin clear if you're not into AA. I went to AA for 10 yrs with limited success but I'm not gonna bash it cause quite frankly you get out what you put in and I was pretty lazy in there but when I'd go on a streak of working hard I'd see results. But I don't go now due to the attitude they have about other medications. I'm on 13 a day and some are controlled substances but that doesn't make me not sober, ya know? Anyways there's resources for people who wanna get sober but not with AA. Unfortunately you gotta dig cause AA rules the roost. Hang in there buddy. Each day is a fresh start and yesterday is gone. I wish a fresh start for you man
 
AA has some really absolute ways to view certain things in life, despite of their merit sometimes we must agree to disagree. :\
 
nuttynutskin said:
Thanks. What am I willing to do to not drink? Not drink I guess would be the obvious answer.
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What I mean is: Are you willing to go to meetings. Are you willing to see a psychiatrist. Are you willing to change your friends. Are you willing to change your job. Are you willing to keep an exercise routine. etc.

One thing about addiction and alcoholism is that it is comforting to stay in it because change is scary. You have to be willing to throw out the playbook and change everything in your life if you truly want to address the problems you have.

@closeau: That is so true. All recovery should start with a thorough analysis of your mental health. Most addicts are self medicating. I know I was self medicating, and it is particularly telling that I was able to stay sober for a year or more and then as soon as my ex and my son were gone I went back to using. I could not deal with the sense of loss and depression that comes with having your family implode before your eyes. All that hard work was for naught, and I was right back where I didn't want to be. If I had actually gone and talked to someone about my feelings it may have been different. Instead I used and worked to escape them.
 
manboychef said:
One thing about addiction and alcoholism is that it is comforting to stay in it because change is scary. You have to be willing to throw out the playbook and change everything in your life if you truly want to address the problems you have.
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So true.
 
It seems that some of you live in NC. At least 3 that I know. It must be quite nice nice to be that close! :) I have never actually met anyone from here ever.
 
Time to go buy a new bottle of Antabuse today... 3.5 months ago when I ran out of disulfiram, I didn't bother to get a new bottle immediately, and of course 3 days later I relapsed (I was probably subconsciously "preparing" that relapse by not going to the pharmacy). Got to avoid that this time.
 
Make sure you get that Antabuse and don't give yourself a chance to relapse. Antabuse is some heavy stuff. I was n it for a bit but I wild stop taking it a I can drink. That's my fault not the medicines. I think if taken properly it can be very effective. It was suggested to me I complement with AA which I did. I actually went to my first meeting in 6 months. It was awesome to see old friends and my new ones. I'm def been very sad since cutting spirituality out of my life. I still disagree with some of the philosophies of AS but I'll be going back from time to time for guidance sand best part help guide others. Good luck with the Antabuse and I'm pulling for you. Take care
PS: Erikmen I'm from NC too, lol
 
Yesterday I had to take Seroquel as I could not sleep and this is the only thing my doctor prescribes me. It helped me to sleep but today it was a very difficult day. The strange thing about this medication is that I cannot find the right dose, it's either too much or not enough. I'm using around 75-100 mg each time, as prescribed. On top of that I had a dental surgery and every thing is aching in my body right now. Of course I could have had anything for this pain but I can't really take opiates or benzos. I'm taking tylenol instead together with an anti inflammatory, and at night time this bloody Seroquel medication.

There are days that I simply miss having easy things, and by that I mean anything that would me make me more comfortable. The thing I remember first is how f. difficult the entire quitting process was. It's been 16 months off of everything. Not an easy battle. And I have dealt with cravings really well except that sometimes I just want to sleep and I hate pain. Who does? Sorry my friends, needed to vent a little. Take Care closeau! :)
 
manboychef said:
What I mean is: Are you willing to go to meetings. Are you willing to see a psychiatrist. Are you willing to change your friends. Are you willing to change your job. Are you willing to keep an exercise routine. etc.
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I'm in the process of getting into one on one counseling more for mental health, but I'm sure other issues will also be addressed. I just need to finish my intake. For me it made more sense, because I believe that my mental problems were what led me to have a problem with alcohol in the first place. Meetings I don't think are for me. I don't like being around a bunch of strangers I don't know. And I don't have a job or any friends so I don't have to worry about that, although I'm not sure what a job has anything to do with trying to stay sober unless you are a bartender or something.
 
nuttynutskin said:
I'm in the process of getting into one on one counseling more for mental health, but I'm sure other issues will also be addressed. I just need to finish my intake. For me it made more sense, because I believe that my mental problems were what led me to have a problem with alcohol in the first place. Meetings I don't think are for me. I don't like being around a bunch of strangers I don't know. And I don't have a job or any friends so I don't have to worry about that, although I'm not sure what a job has anything to do with trying to stay sober unless you are a bartender or something.
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Getting into some mental health help is a really amazing start. Good job my friend. It is something that a lot of people that end up in AA do not address and it leads to AA being a revolving door that they only go through when their pants are on fire. The job and friends thing will change as you change. It gets better.
 
Thanks... I think the mental health component is something that is woefully overlooked in treatment a lot of times, not even just with AA. But yeah, I'm currently unemployed and have always been a bit of a loner. I'm just in a point in my life now where a lot of friends have moved on in their lives in one way or another and have lost contact. And as a lot of addicts probably know it's easy to isolate yourself when you're struggling.
 
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