Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

[closeau]

That's terrible!!! Omg. I can see that happening there but dam. Makes me glad I'm sitting here in comfort. Thanks troops

 

[polymath]

Speaking of documentaries, I watched one about kids in Afghanistan as young as 8-9 years old completely abandoned and getting high night and day under a bridge full of trash and diseases. They were constantly getting beat up by police.

They filmed young mothers smoking heroin or opiates with their 6 year daughters. The kids were dirty, their fingers really heart. Totally beaten up. Some of these kids lived with older man who would sleep with them at night and give money for shooting up during the day. It was very shocking, I didn't even finish watching.

I didn't know there's so young addicts somewhere, definitely shocking... I've read some stories about third world distilleries that use child labor and pay part of the salary in the form of alcohol, though: http://medind.nic.in/jac/t01/i1/jact01i1p101.pdf

 

[Erikmen]

Indeed. Thanks for the link.

The interview with this kid that had to sleep with an older man so he could afford his drugs was done with his face totally covered as the penalty for being caught doing this would be death, in that case for the kid which is even more absurd.

I've seen this scene in some of these countries, similarly in Iraq, Afghanistan. The place is apparently where the sewage is dumped. So they either die due to the diseases as most people sleep there. They depend on heroin day and night. It's the cheapest heroin sold in the world and the purest, according to them. They use the large common syringes (5 ml I guess) which shows how the tolerance has really gone to unbelievable levels.

 

[closeau]

Glitter kiss, you still ok and at your grandmas? You holdin up ok? Let me know.

 

[Splat]

Would be interested to hear your guys' opinion. Guess I just need to get some things out.
I'm 27. I've been drinking since age 18. I've definitely ran into a fair amount of trouble because of alcohol, but really never felt like I was an alcoholic. I've had 3 DWIs - one at age 21, and two over the past summer. I've wrecked two vehicles while DWI. Spent way too many mornings hungover and days stuck worshiping the porcelain gods. Outside of the DWIs, I've made a fair amount of questionable decisions while drinking - negative choices in my relationships/people I've surrounded myself with, and I once headbutted a girlfriend during a drunken argument. I've definitely lost control while drinking on more than one occasion, but don't feel like much other than what I've mentioned above ranks me as an outlier compared to anyone else my age...but, I'm here so...
I've been sober from alcohol for 314 days, since the day after my second DWI last summer (which also included DWR and speeding). I got home from jail and called my dad (I was leaving a concert we were attending when I got the DWI) and he said "Well, I wouldn't have let you drive if I sensed something were wrong" (I refused the breathalyzer, so they blood tested me and it came back .149) and "You just need to never drink again"
I won't say quitting alcohol has been a breeze, but I haven't found it too extremely difficult. I can go to bars with small friend groups. My "Mt Everest" was attending a friend's bachelor party out of town - I broke down crying pretty badly on one occasion, I still haven't figured out exactly why - combination of stress, feeling of loss of control, etc. But I managed to not drink. That same friend's wedding was a few days ago, and I didn't have near as much of a problem not drinking as I anticipated I would.

I've completed some outpatient treatment required from my DWIs (weekly group classes and 1:1 counseling). I actually enjoyed the treatment more than I thought - it definitely opened my mind to the possibility of having a problem with alcohol, though I never admitted I was an alcoholic. We took a few self-assessment surveys regarding alcoholism and I marked 11 questions out of 44, most of which were in the "early-stage" symptoms category.

I remained entirely sober from everything up until the weekend of the bachelor party, where I smoked MJ for the first time since Christmas, as well as taking some Xanax during the weekend. I've taken some Xanax on other occasions as well, shying away from recreational use (though I will admit I've done so less than a handful of times). I guess I'm just wondering where to go with sobriety from here. I was always healthier with regards to MJ use compared to ETOH, so I've been curious as to whether or not that needs to go entirely for me to be considered "sober"? I frequently question whether or not I should drink again, though I don't have much of a desire to; I feel like restricting myself from drinking at all is closing off my options entirely, so to speak. On the other hand, I feel like, should I choose to drink again -I'd be playing with fire.

Guess I'm just looking to vent, looking for some rationalizations, making sure I'm going about this in a good manner. Would love to hear what you guys think.

 

[Jabberwocky]

What kind of healthy stuff do you do for yourself? Health behaviors and self care are the keys to recovery, irregardless of whether you choose to use MJ or other substances, assuming you are capable of continued responsible use. I honestly would avoid places where you used to get wasted, but that is just me. I have a friend who got sober and ended up meeting his now long time SO at a halloween party as the local bar, and he didn't have a problem with that kind of event and keeping his nose clean. But I am not so confident that I would have been so capable of not enjoying some whatever DOC or two when in those kinds of situations, so unless I have friends with me who help keep me honest, without being anal or controling or anything - just good friends - I tend to stay away from bars and clubs if I am just going by myself.

 

[Splat]

I'm a personal trainer and competitive multi-sport athlete (hockey, weightlifting, track). I work out five or six times a week, am working on making meditation/mindfulness a part of my routine (was doing it near-daily for awhile, have fallen off), and read a fair amount.

The only times I'd find myself in those situations- bars/clubs- would be with a good group of friends who are well-aware of my current status and would help me stay clean.

 

[Jabberwocky]

This is good

 

[Moreaux]

Kudos on getting off of ETOH - that's huge!!! I struggled for years to get sober from an alcohol addiction. Never really had a problem with anything else - I could always take or leave it, but alcohol is insidious.

Be very careful with Xanax. Benzodiazapines are like ETOH in pill form, and I promise you don't want an addiction to that. Getting off of them is literal hell, and there is a good chance they can trigger an alcohol relapse. If I were you your position I would leave ALL GABA drugs off the table (ETOH, benzos, z drugs) gabapenton, pregabalin, phenibut, etc). Also if I were in your position, I would wait a while before experimenting with other substances as you don't quite have a year clean.

Give yourself some more time to recover and more time to process the underlying reasons why you self medicate - you're so close a little while longer won't hurt. Trust me, you don't want to be in my situation where you wake up almost 40 years old and have to restart life. It fantastic that you took steps to get the addiction under control now, and I know it's a lot of work and you deserve a break, but push on just a little longer. In the end it will be worth it.

In my opinion MJ use in the future is fine as long as it doesn't give you anxiety or cause you to make poor decisions regarding other drugs use. I know some it helps motivate some people to drink, though it never did that for me. I also think it's a great medicinal plant with many uses, but in your situation would still wait a while before altering my consciousness.

Good luck and keep up the great work!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Yeah, it is like with me I know I have to stay away from ALL non-prescribed opioids (and use those prescribed only as prescribed) and all gabaergic drugs, prescription or otherwise (I just do not seem to react well). Other stuff can be fair game to an extent, but the extent is always tempered by skillful balance and moderation. Or at least it has to be if I want to stay healthy, accomplish my goals and occasionally smoke a tiny joint before bed or trip balls once in a while.

 

[closeau]

Said well toothpastedog. My life consists of taking a lot of prescribed Meds from kolonopin to blood thinners but I really try hard to have skillful balance which is a huge step forward from my Cookie Monster attitude I had towards substances, lol. I'm personally very proud of myself, just one thing I'm working that has been very difficult to change. But I will keep working on it. And a trip every now and then, lol. Good post man

 

[Erikmen]

It's always good to feel proud of our accomplishments. It's great when people can see this but excellent when you give yourself some credit.
That one thing that is difficult to change is a work in progress as I understand. As long as you keep it real without taking the magic out of your life. Indeed, great posts in here.

 

[IndicaDreaming]

Thanks for the replies and help fellow lighters. I ended up being told to take thiamine (Dr believes the withdrawals are from lack of it) even though about 6 weeks ago my blood test showed perfectly fine b vitamin levels. I don't think she knows too much about withdrawal or perhaps just doesn't work trust me, anyway, I got a referral to a psychiatrist, finally! Hopefully they will have more experience with this business.

 

[manboychef]

Thanks for the replies and help fellow lighters. I ended up being told to take thiamine (Dr believes the withdrawals are from lack of it) even though about 6 weeks ago my blood test showed perfectly fine b vitamin levels. I don't think she knows too much about withdrawal or perhaps just doesn't work trust me, anyway, I got a referral to a psychiatrist, finally! Hopefully they will have more experience with this business.

This is so important in recovery. Most of us addicts/alcoholics have underlying mental issues that fueled our use. A good psychiatrist should be able to diagnose any untreated mental illness as well as make your detox a little more reasonable. There is no real reason anyone should be forced to have a hard detox unless they want it. I needed a hard detox because I looked at it as a life changing event, or a catalyst to my recovery.

 

[Erikmen]

This is so important in recovery. Most of us addicts/alcoholics have underlying mental issues that fueled our use. A good psychiatrist should be able to diagnose any untreated mental illness as well as make your detox a little more reasonable. There is no real reason anyone should be forced to have a hard detox unless they want it.

Exactly. I had also gone through hard detox. I guess I didn't have a choice considering you can only taper 'dones and benzos for a while.

 

[closeau]

I thought my detox and rehab were supposed to be hard. I'm changing my life so that always hurts. Didn't end up needing detox before rehab but I remember being in there watching a ball game or lighting a cig after a big meal saying to myself, this should be harder. Maybe if it were one of those rehabs where your family members tell you what you did to them it would have been different. When I found out family weekend was just a 2 hr class about the disease I was like whew. I had many detoxes in ER's and they were all comfy. I was drunk and shaking almost seizing and they'd start Libbrium drip after 2 or 3 injections of it and I was very comfy. I'd take a nap and wake up and sometimes got another bag sometimes not but up and alert and not drunk anymore and watching cartoons thinking this should be harder. Even my 5th step, the confession step I thought would be emotional but nope

You're right, a good dr can diagnose the problem most of time and fing treatment best sites for them. As I've said before you cannot treat the addiction first or you go around in circles. Detox and rehab shouldn't be that hard. A little maybe but not too hard. Transitioning from a life of drinking/using to not is hard enough as it is. Just thought I'd chime in on the subject. Have good days

 

[Jabberwocky]

Agreed.

 

[manboychef]

Closeau: That is so true. Some people need to have kid gloves used when being dealt with, but if you are like me, you need a white knuckle kick in the tallywhacker in order to feel that you are changing.

 

[nuttynutskin]

What's up guys, thought I'd check in. Detoxed again at the hospital Thursday I believe it was. Lab levels weren't too crazy but my stomach's a bit messed up and I'm still a bit screwed up in the head (anxiety, not thinking clearly). Anyways now I'm on Librium, Zofran (stomach med) along with my usual Xanax. I think I'm ready to stop for the foreseeable future because this shit has just gotten out of hand. I'm not in any legal trouble but 3 detoxes in the last 2 months is just asinine. I thought for a long time there's no way I'd let a substance control me, much less alcohol but I'm finding out that I was dead wrong. The only control I really had was due to money. Maybe somewhere down the line I'll be able to control myself but for now it's pretty much imperative I stay sober.

 

[closeau]

You can do it buddy. Sounds like you just did 1st step, "We add uttered we were powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." That was admitted my phone screwed up. Your post just covered both of those things. I'm not an AA thumper or anything but when I did 5 detoxes in 2 months they def looked better than that. At first it was weird being around people but usually someone grabs you and takes you under his wing. I'm just sayin I found it really helpful. If you've been thru AA I apologize for patronizing you. You could try outpatient counseling. I just don't know your situation. I know one thing, you can't do it by yourself man. Going back to where you live what do you do? Drink. So change is needed to stay sober. There's a it of keys to it but that one. Change is imperative. Not so much a geographical change but a chane inside which I'd hard to do if you in the same place eating same food. Change is impossible


Man if my sponsor woulda told me to jump off a bridge I would have. That's how desperate I was not to drink. It had destroyed me. Dam near lost everything except a couple family members and when I went to my first rehab I had a 6 month old daughter. God sparred her from seeing her daddy drunk and she never has. She's almost 10 now. Wow!! Still lived far away but I'm gonna move out there this year after class. Finally all the planes and saying goodbye are done. I haven't had a drink I a long time but time isn't important. The quality of you sobreity is the most importation. Don't think cause somebody who has 20 years is happy. Find your purpose man you have one. A reason to get out of that bottle. You can do it man. It's dam hard but it's not impossible. If you need anything from me just message me and I'll do what I can. Keep your head up man