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Sober Living Social Thread

just took my suboxone for the day. i realized that i was withholding it (at least partly) in some half-assed idea of trying to get high tomorrow or the next day. i really am keen to get off the subs, but damn, i was ready to go as soon as my receptors were open. once i was honest with myself, i had it all planned out. bummer. but at least now i'm in the clear for another day.
 
what, no night owls? well, chime in mourning (morning) doves.

this afternoon i've got an appt with my suboxone doctor. feeling good about it b/c i know if they make me drop i'll show up clean. nice not to have to sweat it.

it's weird how little i miss smoking weed. i smoked daily for the same 3 years that i was using dope. when i got on subs i had no interest in quitting weed. but since the doc piss tests me, it's off the table. and strangely, that's one thing i don't miss very much. i should count my blessings. (if i believed in such esoterics as blessings. ;))

i hope everyone has a beautiful day.

peace.
 
Yes Simco, same with me. I hadnt smoked in a long time cause i gotta pee too. My buddy calls me in Jan and had some shit we just dont get here in NC. So i got some and smoked and went in and told dr id rather smoke than take opiates. She knew i was making a mistake so i got off which was hell but only lasted a week untill the pain was searing and i couldnt take it so i messaged her and she got me in and said no more weed, lol. I think the first day i was pissed i coudlt have both but since then i dont miss smoking at all. My landladys son lives here and he smokes and i smell it and im like whatever. Great minds think alike Simco. Take care
 
simco said:
yeah, i totally get it. booze, weed...meh. still dreaming about dope tho :|.
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this oh my god, this. The dreams, they're always SO surreal, to the point I can even smell it. Hate it, wake up all anxious and on the verge of a panic attack. Not a good way to wake up :/
 
I agree. I have terrible drinking dreams that used to make me drink but no more. The obsession is gone. Dope on the other hand, im with Simco. Those dreams do put me in panic as soon as i wake. Good thing i can take a kolonopin when i wake. Sometimes it takes two. The rush, i can feel it in my dream. My buddy in rehab called these dreams freebies so i look at it like that
 
closeau said:
The rush, i can feel it in my dream. My buddy in rehab called these dreams freebies so i look at it like that
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that's the opposite of mine. In my dreams, there's always something preventing me from getting high. Can't find the lighter, no tooter or foil, or just anything that prevents me from smoking it. I wonder if that has to do with being just a dream, and not being able to feel it because it's actually not in my body.. but you feel the rush in yours? Idk :/
 
Huh, must be subconcious thing. Yeah, ive felt rushes before. It messes my head up bad. I think id be more pissed if i had dreams like yours. As long as its not real, no bother
 
pmaczilla: oh my god, i can smell it in my dreams too. at the risk of pulling folks' triggers i won't elaborate on it. but as they say, the sense of smell and human imagination are tightly tied.
 
Today is day 1 for me. My body can't take this anymore at 25, enough is enough.

Best of luck to everyone trying to stay sober, not sure how much I'll post on BL as this site is quite triggering.
 
Just stick to sober living. It is a good community.

Yeah I have frustrating using dreams...I am glad though. I had a counselor say that if I used in a dream, count it as a free one. I don't feel that way. They just make my anxiety go nuts. It brings back feelings that I don't want to feel anymore....especially needing something to function, or having every good feeling I could ever have come from a chemical. I am happy I don't use anymore. I assure you everyone with less than a year that when you hit the year mark, things get better and better much quicker than before a year.
 
Well put manboychef. Starting over, like manboychef said, stick to sober living. Ive gotten a lot of help out here. Day 1 is important. Im glad youre stopping. Some of these threads do have triggers in them but i dont go there. Stick with it man and your life will get better for sure
 
today makes 8 weeks clean for me. i am completely amazed to be able to say that, having fallen so many times. but here it is. holy fuck.

and [MENTION=227329]closeau[/MENTION], you're right, Day 1 is so important. i often tell myself that every day in recovery is Day 1...helps keep me from getting overwhelmed: I know how to handle Day 1. also keeps me focused and a bit less devastated if I slip.
 
simco said:
today makes 8 weeks clean for me. i am completely amazed to be able to say that, having fallen so many times. but here it is. holy fuck.

and [MENTION=227329]closeau[/MENTION], you're right, Day 1 is so important. i often tell myself that every day in recovery is Day 1...helps keep me from getting overwhelmed: I know how to handle Day 1. also keeps me focused and a bit less devastated if I slip.
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day three here, and I gotta say, I feel fucking great. I have absolutely no desire to go back to that life, or to even use at all. I had a bbq yesterday with my lady and her mom and actually ATE and just hung out in the sunshine , sober. It felt so amazing.
For those struggling, it gets easier as the days go by. For me aleast. Not that I have a lot of clean time or anything, just sharing my experience.
 
By day 3 I always got pretty excited too! As long as the memory of withdrawal is recalled without delusion that the high is worth the horror that follows, I am cool :)
 
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