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simco said:
CH, do you have a therapist in your history who you worked well with and could return to? There are so many bad therapists out there. I've found that I really needed to shop around to find a good therapist. God, I've had some lame ones. (CH, it sounds like this isn't your first rodeo, so I suppose I'm writing this to the community too.)

I'd be curious to hear--folks who have had or are having good experiences in therapy: what "kind" of therapist are you working with? I know cognitive behavioral (CBT) is all the rage these days, but personally, I've found very old-school psychodynamic work to be the only thing that helps me. And we don't have to use psycho-lingo (CBT, psychodynamic, etc.)... do you and your therapist "go deep" into your character? do you work more on coping skills, etc.?
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Nope. :|
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Nope. :|
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that sucks. IIRC you're in SO-CAL. at least there, there will be plenty of good therapists. the hard part will be finding one. my best therapist was referred to me by a mutual friend. maybe someone you know who could recommend a doc?

i have one (and only one) trick that i do think helps in finding good shrinks... if at all possible, i find people who either work alone or in a very small practice. unfortunately i have a shit-ton of experience in this task, and my rule of thumb is that the probability of good care shrinks inversely with the number of therapists in the practice. i hope it's obvious, though, that we're just talking probabilities here. no guarantees.

best luck, man. i'm really rooting for you!
 
Burnt Offerings said:
...Have been consumed with overwhelming feelings of melancholy and regret lately...I completely blew my academic career here (I'm not sure if I'll even attend my final exams, I don't think there's a way to salvage my grades at this point) & a couple members of the opposite sex who I used to like have apparently decided that it's better that I not exist. Never accomplished anything here except the development of a drug habit. Really just want to use, honestly...fix a big shot and forget about everything. :(
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[MENTION=119755]Burnt[/MENTION]Offerings, a couple things. I have made my career in academia after burning so many bridges and throwing so many gigs away that I'm astonished I haven't been blackballed. There are a ton of shitty things about academia (I'm thinking seriously of changing careers). But one GOOD thing is that it is almost infinitely flexible. No matter how bad you crashed and burned this semester/year I can all but guarantee you can get it back if/when you want it.

As for wanting to use, first: please don't! Second, fuck, I'm totally there with you. Last night I put my pistol in my mouth and sat there for about a minute...without drugs, my suicidal impulses are running off the hook. God I know how you're feeling.

Let's try to make it through today.
 
Youbknow Simco, i can relate. Even with all my help with meds and therapy the suicidal urge lives on in me. Ive tried twice with last one close. They had to shock me. Now i use my daughter cause i shuldnt have lived thru that and not to get spiritual, i believe God let me live cause i have a job with my daughter. Shes at risk to inherit all my bullshit and if she does shes gonna need my help. She will need me one day and i will be there for her. I plan on moving to her town turn of the year. But i get those suicidal fits really bad. Cant live, cant die...great!!!! I see a therapist and we go deep into me. Small part is coping skills but she asked me deep questions. I really like it!!

CH, my bro, hang in there and youll find a good one and start feeling better. Goodbluck bro
 
closeau said:
Youbknow Simco, i can relate. Even with all my help with meds and therapy the suicidal urge lives on in me. Ive tried twice with last one close. They had to shock me. Now i use my daughter cause i shuldnt have lived thru that and not to get spiritual, i believe God let me live cause i have a job with my daughter. Shes at risk to inherit all my bullshit and if she does shes gonna need my help. She will need me one day and i will be there for her. I plan on moving to her town turn of the year. But i get those suicidal fits really bad. Cant live, cant die...great!!!! I see a therapist and we go deep into me. Small part is coping skills but she asked me deep questions. I really like it!!

CH, my bro, hang in there and youll find a good one and start feeling better. Goodbluck bro
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I think that having suicidal thoughts is a normal part of recovery, and that we need more understanding and acceptance in the field of mental health. I don't think institutionalizing people because of suicidal ideation is the right thing to do; I think people need to be heard and understood, and empathized with.
 
Said well CH!! Thats why i started the thread mentall llness and addiction. Im reading up on it myself. Basically comes down to Drs dont believe addicts, even ones in recovery. Once the stink is on you you cant get it off. But youre right, just instatitionaalizing suicidal people is wrong. It is part of recovery. Look at Robin Williams. I hope things change for the better soon. Its hard enough to kick drugs then were treated like shit forever
 
closeau said:
Said well CH!! Thats why i started the thread mentall llness and addiction. Im reading up on it myself. Basically comes down to Drs dont believe addicts, even ones in recovery. Once the stink is on you you cant get it off. But youre right, just instatitionaalizing suicidal people is wrong. It is part of recovery. Look at Robin Williams. I hope things change for the better soon. Its hard enough to kick drugs then were treated like shit forever
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Robin Williams was suffering from a profoundly bad case of Parkinson's, and would have had an extremely undignified death if he had chosen to "tough it out".

I honestly wish euthanasia was legal; it is a shame he killed himself the way he did. :( It makes all of the comedy films he's been in seem so tragic, and the dramatic films he's been in as even more intense.
 
With a view like this from front of your house you don't need a therapist:
atrqle.jpg


Anyhow wen't to date with a girl and ended up losing my anal virginity. WTF just happened :P
 
She is a bit tomboy but I didn't imagine being introduced into strap-on dildoing when we got things going on. Luckily it was a small one and it was actually kind of fun although must be most kinkiest thing I have ever done... But what the hell we both had fun atleast :P
 
Yeah I had a good time and am looking forward for next time :)

She is always hot :P

Should have expected something like this as she ends up choosing male characters for cosplay projects so it is actually crossplay for her.
 
MrRoot said:
Yeah I had a good time and am looking forward for next time :)

She is always hot :P

Should have expected something like this as she ends up choosing male characters for cosplay projects so it is actually crossplay for her.
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gotcha :)

well I'm glad you enjoyed %)

I'm having a fairly benign, busy, painful and tiresome week after having an amazing vacation this last weekend.

I hope everyone is doing well, lots of <3
 
simco said:
CH, do you have a therapist in your history who you worked well with and could return to? There are so many bad therapists out there. I've found that I really needed to shop around to find a good therapist. God, I've had some lame ones. (CH, it sounds like this isn't your first rodeo, so I suppose I'm writing this to the community too.)

I'd be curious to hear--folks who have had or are having good experiences in therapy: what "kind" of therapist are you working with? I know cognitive behavioral (CBT) is all the rage these days, but personally, I've found very old-school psychodynamic work to be the only thing that helps me. And we don't have to use psycho-lingo (CBT, psychodynamic, etc.)... do you and your therapist "go deep" into your character? do you work more on coping skills, etc.?
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I have been to two very good therapists in my life and seen about 4 other really shitty ones. When I say shitty I actually mean simplistic minded, lacking integrity and at least one was just plain stupid. Good therapy for me is challenging--challenging me to see things another way or to think about them another way. When it is changes that I need to make, I do like concrete tools like CBT and mindfulness concepts. Learning to not be a victim of my own thought patterns, but to take an active role in redefining a healthy relationship with myself has been the biggest game changer for me. Another thing that I used to laugh at was "body work" but after losing my son I no longer scoff. Sometimes pain really does live so deep in the body that no mental healing is possible by itself.
 
well, having lurked here for sometime wondering where to find an opening to join in on the conversation I found one. Thanks Mr. Root for your anal opening. I hope I'm as well received as you seem to have been ;)
 
I haven't seen my therapist in a while. I have been putting off finding a new one since I switched insurance.

I too have been to some very shitty therapists in my day. I have a mental disorder that most therapists do not help with. Growing up I had to go to therapy sessions with my abusive parents. Instead of being two on one...them against me, it was now three on one, my parents and my therapist against me. Eventually I realized what I wanted out of therapy, and what I was getting were two very different things. I stopped going to therapy till I was age eighteen when my mental health was extremely bad and getting worse. I had three extremely horrible mental breakdowns and I had to actually find someone to talk to and help me.

What makes my therapist good is that he has a no bullshit approach to problems. He won't let me snow him. With my panic disorder and OCD I can come up with an extreme amount of reasons why I shouldn't do something that triggers my anxiety, but as he says "That is avoidance, not progress."

The best thing I can say about finding a therapist, especially as an addict...is that you need to try each one for a few sessions till you find someone you can mesh with.
 
I saw someone I used to know on the nightly news last night. Getting arraigned in court. He used to be my next door neighbor a number of years back, and was the first person to introduce me to methamphetamine. His charges involved him allegedly stealing 5 cars in a 24 hour time period. Up to his old tricks again, I guess...

It made me think, damn, my life is pretty messed up...when "normal people" see people they know on the news getting hit with a bundle of felonies they're probably shocked, yet this is about the fourth time I've watched the news and seen a "friend" of mine get brought up on charges, and I just chuckle and think "back to your old tricks, eh [his name]?" smh
 
Atleast you're not in his shoes.

It is quite hard too to see your childhood friend being on a tv talking about politics while being a candidate to run a one of the major political parties. I almost accidentally said "I used to smoke joints with that guy" while watching tv on my relatives few weeks ago :P
 
Not sure if anyone is awake.. it's almost 2AM here. But, if you're awake, hope you're having a good night. Me.. not so much. So I'm poking around the threads, trying to be more active and take my mind off of this ridiculous anxiety.
 
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