• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Sober and sad..

Thank you so much missjay. It's always reassuring to know you aren't alone in your fucked up thoughts. The guilt is just so immense, it makes it all worse.
But, it gives me hope. I'm 23, I don't want to be 40+ years old and still hustling for dope every day. .
also, new to bluelight

Exactly! The sooner you decide to better your life, the better. You still have your whole life ahead of you, love.. you're doing the right thing by turning it around now.
 
we all have our dragons to slay and our demons to conquer. Sometimes we need a little back up, or at the very least an awesome cheerleading section ;)

Yeah, You'll find a lot of support across the whole of bl but especially in here. A lot of kind hearts that have either been where you are or are going through the same thing.

Not everyday is going to be sunshine and happiness. You can only hope of glimpses on those days. You just have to try and remember, this doesn't last forever. You are but a butterfly waiting in your chrysalis. Waiting to emerge a new in all your colourful glory. ( yeah, it's 7:30 am here, I'm not fully with it and a bit soppy this morning. Forgive me. I need some tea or coffee. Chances are though I'm just going to go back to sleep after my morning meds kick in.... =D )
 
Exactly! The sooner you decide to better your life, the better. You still have your whole life ahead of you, love.. you're doing the right thing by turning it around now.
I just feel I've wasted so much of it.
Anyways, thank you all for this. It's helping a ton. Not being able to sleep, not so much. Damn near midnight here and can't stop kicking
 
I just feel I've wasted so much of it.
Anyways, thank you all for this. It's helping a ton. Not being able to sleep, not so much. Damn near midnight here and can't stop kicking

You've not wasted so much. There is no such thing as failure. Just a learning experiences. Small chisels that make their mark, make you the person you are. We are constantly learning and changing. Evolving. You never know, you could one day come to appreciate the struggles you've been through. They are what make you stronger, even through the set backs.

As for sleeping, I got this from my doctor yesterday. I'm on that many meds she doesn't want to stick me on sleep tablets as well. I'm quite fine with that decision. I would like sleep but I don't want another tablet to add to my meds list tbh! Anyway, It's called Sleep Hygiene. I'm sure you, like me have tried pretty much all of it but I'll post anyway.

Good practice: *wake up at the same time everyday * exercise * Set aside time to deal with tomorrow's stresses. *Set aside time to unwind *Regular patterns ( I.E. Bath before bed or a cup of herbal tea ) *relaxation routines. *Light snack or milky drink ( I would recommend something high in tryptophans for a snack ). *go to bed when drowsy. *Ensure bed is comfortable. *Bedroom is quiet, dark and to a temperature of your liking. *lights out as soon as you go to bed. *Ignore intrusive thoughts / ideas ( yeah, okay.... that one's a bit harder :\ )

If you want I can give you the Don'ts but I'm sure i've bored you long enough already. Here's to good sleep from one troubled sleeper to another <3
 
If you want I can give you the Don'ts but I'm sure i've bored you long enough already. Here's to good sleep from one troubled sleeper to another <3
you haven't bored me at all. I truly, sincerely appreciate the advice
 
okay, phone call over... The don'ts

Don't take more than 6 caffeinated drinks per day ( personally, I can't drink caffeine after 5pm :\ )
don't nap
don't exercise 3 hours prior to bed
don't try to sleep in a hurry
don't drink caffeine before bed ( durrrr )
do not eat a heavy meal within 3 hours of desired sleep time
don't drink excess fluids in the evening
Don't drink alcohol in the evenings ( hmmm, but it's okay in the morning or during the day???? Okay then.... )
Don't continue working within half an hour prior to your desired sleep time.
Don't use the bedroom as your office or to watch telly.
don't read stimulating books prior to your desired sleep time.
Do not watch tv/vids pror to sleep.
Do not try to hard to fall asleep
and last...
Do not lie in bed feeling angry if you're unable to sleep.

Hope that helps darlin' xxx
 
Missjay, to try to get a laugh, I decided to quit an oxycodone and amphetamine habit, the week my wife has her period, and my mother in law visits. If I am surviving, so can you.
 
Missjay, to try to get a laugh, I decided to quit an oxycodone and amphetamine habit, the week my wife has her period, and my mother in law visits. If I am surviving, so can you.

do you like pain ??? now thats brave!

And yes, I have to agree, laughter really is the best medicine. Try not to lose your sense of humour. xxx it does wonders for the soul and has been known to ease pain as well as aid in recovery time.
 
Missjay, to try to get a laugh, I decided to quit an oxycodone and amphetamine habit, the week my wife has her period, and my mother in law visits. If I am surviving, so can you.

=DWell, you've got the best tool a human can have going for you: a sense of irony and humor. Right on [MENTION=311014]Kittycat5[/MENTION]. If you can survive this week, next week is a piece of cake.<3
 
I got it I think, CH. Rough last night but feeling ok today. Day 10 no oxy, day 2 no sub, day 1 no amp.
 
I got it I think, CH. Rough last night but feeling ok today. Day 10 no oxy, day 2 no sub, day 1 no amp.

Gotcha. I have over 18 months off suboxone/needles, and all that jazz. Just been dabbing, occasional drink. :)

Hope you're well man, you can always PM me

what kind of doses were you taking and for how long?
 
Tbh, I stopped counting the oxy and Adderall. If I had to guess 150-200mg of each. Subs did a quick taper 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, 1, 1/2. Was feeling so good though, stopping seemed doable.

18 months. Shit, good job. Im actually excited this time to put it behind me. I will still take a few things, but the pharmaceuticals got to go.
 
I've found music to really help out with the sadness.
Anyone got suggestions?
Haystack's my first day is always so motivational to me.
 
Tbh, I stopped counting the oxy and Adderall. If I had to guess 150-200mg of each. Subs did a quick taper 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, 1, 1/2. Was feeling so good though, stopping seemed doable.

18 months. Shit, good job. Im actually excited this time to put it behind me. I will still take a few things, but the pharmaceuticals got to go.

I'm impressed you're not in really bad withdrawal despite those high doses and relatively long period of use, good for you man! :)
 
Missjay, to try to get a laugh, I decided to quit an oxycodone and amphetamine habit, the week my wife has her period, and my mother in law visits. If I am surviving, so can you.

This made me LOL. You're a brave man. Seriously, though.. good luck. You've got this!
 
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