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The sadness in her eyes.

herbavore said:
I'm doing good. Life is all over the place (what's new?
wrygrin.gif
). My husband is sick again but it still comes and goes so we are thankful for that, my son is making us both happy right now being back home for a bit and I just got back from Turkey (fantastic country!). My garden is exploding in its usual April show-off. The people next door just got a puppy so I'm living my dog life vicariously through them.
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Turkey, huh? How cool is that? My dad visited four or five years ago. Brought back some neat stuff, including a hand-crafted talvertine chess-set--which remind me I need to find that and break it out. My awesome neighbor, Dan, who suffers from cancer, and has been getting treated for it for a year and half is also in and out of remission, but fortunately, he's doing really good this week. Glad to hear your son is home -- keeping family close is great. My daughter wants a new dog so bad... thinks our dog is boring, she: "All she does is sleep. I want a dog who wants to play!" Between her mom and I, though, she's got 3 dogs, 4 cats, and 2 guinea pigs. Sheesh!

I planted a bit late, but next month I should have some flowering fireworks between the forget-me-nots, poppies, zinnias, begonias, cosmos, and morning glories. We're finally getting those April showers...

manboychef said:
I like the way you post JAG. I too have a routine. It keeps me from obsessing about using.
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Thanks MBC. The devil makes work for idle hands, eh? :) Peace!

In another news, I'll be hitting a month of sobriety here in a couple of days!
 
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42 days clean of everything except a couple 1P-LSD experiences in between! The temptation is still there, of course, and the healthier I get the easier it is to rationalize a single use -- of course, though, that just can't happen, when I know how that goes... It definitely helps being broke as hell and trying to save for a trip to visit family on the east coast in July. :) I hope everyone is doing well, and I always appreciate the support, the prayers, the good vibes!
 
Hi JAG nice to hear you are doing so good! btw I have no idea what 4-AF? 4-something is that you took, and I'm not going to google it! It's too easy to order stuff online and used to be even more so (hello, silk road ..). But there's something you said that worries me:

Just A Guy said:
I planted a bit late, but next month I should have some flowering fireworks between the forget-me-nots, poppies, zinnias, begonias, cosmos, and morning glories. We're finally getting those April showers...
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Poppies??? Dude, don't go down that path .. Been there, done that. Yes the wife will look at you funny when the garden is full of poppies, but it'll be all fun and games .. NOT! Then you're buying pods and seeds, and if you're especially stupid you'll hike around like Johnny Appleseed spreading them everywhere. And that would be deeply, truly unkind as it would and will tempt other people to get sucked into this black hole of opiates .. Never mind that poppies can be a pretty nasty invasive species in the right habitat.

I remember being a wee young lad (say 9 or so) and reading this wholly inappropriate book about opium eaters from my parents bookshelf. Then I saw a garden full of poppies (right next to elementary school too!), and fantasized about them for ages. So there's that to think of too. And you know it's illegal, right? Not that I ever cared much about that but just fyi. So yeah, I hope you just planted eschscholzia californica or some Argemomes .. If not .. rip 'em out!! More happiness that way.
 
Appreciate the words of warning, except these aren't somniferum poppies, just decorative poppies that fit my garden plan (four rows, shortest in front, tallest in back....). And fortunately, I've never had a problem with opiates, but mainly dopamine and serotonin agonists...
 
Alright then:) :) I love that you're doing a flower garden btw, we have one too though I couldn't tell you the names of the flowers. They came from a 22 plant hummingbird wildflower mix. Through it all we planted veggies and tons of dill, which is good for attracting and feeding insectivorous insects. The kids LOVED picking up ladybugs. It's a pretty wild patch, right now there's yellow watermelons, pineapple tomatillos, squashes and tomatoes growing through the wilting flowers.
 
Yeah, it's been cooler than usual, so although the seedlings popped up nice and quick, they are slow to grow, even with just-right watering. The radishes, though, nothing keeps them babies down. (Or the spinach.)
 
I am so jealous! That all sounds just too delicious. Got to love the spring :) Well, the springtime and gardeners who still make time to hoe their plots ;)
 
Well, I was lucky, since behind the house and down the street at the dead end that's at the top of the edge of deep forested valley, someone dumped a couple pickup beds of good topsoil. It'd been there for a couple of years, so I helped myself to it and now have great soil.
 
You guys are lucky, things bake here every summer when it's 110 out. Spring is our summer and summer is hell .. But some things just love the heat, like artichokes (got 3 plants), eggplants or the yellow watermelons. Okra too, but that stuff is too nasty to eat unless you grew up with it. Cool plant though, with its goth blood red curved pods. A few years ago we had one grow 9 feet tall with a six inch stem. . it crowded out everything else and we couldn't eat the pods, but it was too pretty to rip out.
 
SunSpot said:
You guys are lucky, things bake here every summer when it's 110 out. Spring is our summer and summer is hell .. But some things just love the heat, like artichokes (got 3 plants), eggplants or the yellow watermelons. Okra too, but that stuff is too nasty to eat unless you grew up with it. Cool plant though, with its goth blood red curved pods. A few years ago we had one grow 9 feet tall with a six inch stem. . it crowded out everything else and we couldn't eat the pods, but it was too pretty to rip out.
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So jealous over the artichokes. I have tried to grow them here and they do well up until winter. Our garden is already producing peppers, beans, strawberries and onions. The carrots and beets are taking a little longer than expected.
 
On the way out to bid some work for a client, I happened to pass by a house where I use to do a lot of dope...even synthesis. That was from way back in 2003-2004 when I quit methamphetamine and had to turn my back on all my drug-buddies and even some friends in order to clean up my act, eventually moving to Florida where everything was just perfect for four years -- anyway, was curious so I took a look around. Appeared to be vacant, all three units in it. Crazy, though, to be back there after all of those years. It put a physical, in the present object to tie in with my old memories. I don't know if that had anything to do with my thought process (probably) but I was giving myself psychosomatic rushes thinking of using.

All in all, I've noticed a correlation between the intensity of craving and how long it's been since I last drank alcohol (not my DOC, or my addiction). But when I space out 3-4 days between a night of some beers, I notice the next day I think about stuff...
 
Just A Guy said:
On the way out to bid some work for a client, I happened to pass by a house where I use to do a lot of dope...even synthesis. That was from way back in 2003-2004 when I quit methamphetamine and had to turn my back on all my drug-buddies and even some friends in order to clean up my act, eventually moving to Florida where everything was just perfect for four years -- anyway, was curious so I took a look around. Appeared to be vacant, all three units in it. Crazy, though, to be back there after all of those years. It put a physical, in the present object to tie in with my old memories. I don't know if that had anything to do with my thought process (probably) but I was giving myself psychosomatic rushes thinking of using.

All in all, I've noticed a correlation between the intensity of craving and how long it's been since I last drank alcohol (not my DOC, or my addiction). But when I space out 3-4 days between a night of some beers, I notice the next day I think about stuff...
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It's hard to work past those thoughts. Hope you're staying well man, keep us posted. <3
 
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