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The sadness in her eyes.

Captain.Heroin said:
Try to not give into tobacco use, it's definitely a very harmful addiction.

Nicotine is also going to increase benzodiazepine clearance.
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Please expound on that ... incidentally, I have found myself drawn to the occasional cigarillo (even though I quit habitual nicotine use in mid-February).

...and alcohol... I know x_benz mentioned it already, but ... well, the truth is, since I was 21, I have either been a habitual marijuana smoker or pseudo-alcoholic -- one or other, never both.
 
Well, my friends, it would be absolutely disrespectful of me not to express my gratitude to everyone who has shown me and everyone else going through recovery the support, rapport, companionship, and love that you all have, especially my love, whom for anonymity's sake I will just call D -- thank you, D. :)

Also, very sad to hear of Merle Haggard's passing. God Bless ya, traveler!
 
Well, so far so good -- haven't had any trouble with cravings, and have only done 1mg etizolam / day (if that, as I skipped a day) -- I'm determined to be clean. But I am sleeping less, and waking up really early -- also remembering my dreams, and they have been on the weird and scary side. But the brain fog is gone, which is great, and my optimism is up. Great spirits! Peace everyone.
 
Just A Guy said:
Please expound on that ... incidentally, I have found myself drawn to the occasional cigarillo (even though I quit habitual nicotine use in mid-February).

...and alcohol... I know x_benz mentioned it already, but ... well, the truth is, since I was 21, I have either been a habitual marijuana smoker or pseudo-alcoholic -- one or other, never both.
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It means when you are under the effects of nicotine, benzodiazepines metabolize quicker and hence the effects are shorter-lasting.
 
It's going well! I have not made any purchases, been around anyone who uses, been playing tennis and basketball with my girlfriend after work -- and I've got handyman gigs lined up! Cosmic karma and all that, I guess. :) Life is good. Got my routine down:

I wake up pretty much exactly one minute before the alarm goes off. (early, around 5:30am)
Make coffee and breakfast.
Take girlfriend to work, daughter to school (my truck is in the shop) --
Eat lunch.
Complete any promised assignments, run errands, clean house, etc.
Pick up daughter from school, girlfriend from work.
Hit the park across the street, with racquets and balls.
Get home, make dinner, server dinner, eat, shower, and sleep!

This last weekend I tilled two 6 x 12 plots and 2 feet around a tree in my front yard. Planted some decorative flowers: (zinnias, morning glories, poppies, cosmos, forget me nots) -- this coming weekend I'm going to till a larger plot in the backyard and put down onions, radishes, and spinach.

Haven't really made good on my earlier intention of hitting the gym, but just exercising and playing with the fam seems to be just as good!

Thanks for checking in, brother, and hope you have a great one!

Peace out!
 
2 weeks! And I had some cravings earlier, for the first time in days... something about feeling healthy and having my focus back makes me crave a bit. But, it's all good! There's no product, and I got rid of the gear. :) Thanks for everyone's continued support. I haven't been idle all week, and it was a long-ass week -- a full week, time spent well.
 
Thanks!

Yeah, staying busy, giving myself no time to get "bored." My girlfriend and I took a trip to a nearby state park and spent a good four hours hiking, collecting rocks, and wading through streams. We've made it a goal to try to enjoy nature every weekend.
 
Yeah, I'm doing pretty well. Work is on fire, family is tight, friends are close -- but tonight, wow -- finished a four-pack of Old Rasputin (one of my fave beers) -- figured it was a good night for it; finished a complete roof-project, tear-off, reshingle, remove and replace sub and fascia/cover -- reinforced and replaced soffits--a small payday for a lot of work (that was glorious, I loved it) -- and right now, sitting before the computer, alone in the house, strumming that dang juicy vein in my right arm, thinking to myself a small order, for a one-day party -- but no. I won't. Not that I can't, but that I won't. Love you all, and I love myself. :)
 
Just A Guy said:
Sure do. And I love you, too, Herb. How are things going with you? I've been thinking about you, and wondering how you've been.
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I'm doing good. Life is all over the place (what's new?:\). My husband is sick again but it still comes and goes so we are thankful for that, my son is making us both happy right now being back home for a bit and I just got back from Turkey (fantastic country!). My garden is exploding in its usual April show-off. The people next door just got a puppy so I'm living my dog life vicariously through them.=D
 
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