The hardest part in the disease of addiction, is PAWS (Post acute withdrawal syndrome), aka psychological withdrawal.
You went through the physical part of withdrawal, which is absolutely GREAT. I respect the battle you faced, and defeated the battle.
I was the same way with Rx opiates, I went through HELL with the physical withdrawal, and managed to defeat the battle.
Then PAWS hit me like a brick to the face.
I was extremely depressed, very anxious, feelings of guilt, had the crying spells related to the depression, sad thoughts racing in my mind, anythig you can think of.
It never ended, I didn't use any opiate in 6 months after I quit using, and the PAWS were just NOT going away.
I was so drained, mentally from PAWS, I relapsed.
Some sources say PAWS can last up to 5 years or MORE. Fuck that, I hurt myself so much already and I will NOT hurt myself anymore.
With Heroin, I couldn't handle 5 minutes of the physical type of the intense withdrawal.