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MDPV Megathread 11: Still sorting all the porn.

herbavore said:
I will never forget the day my son tried to explain to me the pull MDPV had on him. We were sitting in my car in front of a store and great big tears started rolling down his cheeks and he said, "No drug has ever owned me. This one does." What proceeded after that was a year of extreme bouts of paranoid psychosis, isolation and ultimately death. That year will forever be burned into my own mind as a battlefield in which we fought for his life and lost. I hope that you continue to stay away from MDPV and all its relatives. Its a nasty and powerful master.<3
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Sorry to hear about your son. Agreed, peevee is a nasty drug IMHO. Hate that i was addicted to it during my son's life & hate that I was a bad son during that time too. 4 years since I've touched it & happy to say I never will again. Most addictive chemical known to man IMO. :|
 
herbavore said:
I will never forget the day my son tried to explain to me the pull MDPV had on him. We were sitting in my car in front of a store and great big tears started rolling down his cheeks and he said, "No drug has ever owned me. This one does." What proceeded after that was a year of extreme bouts of paranoid psychosis, isolation and ultimately death. That year will forever be burned into my own mind as a battlefield in which we fought for his life and lost. I hope that you continue to stay away from MDPV and all its relatives. Its a nasty and powerful master.<3
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Herbavore, I just wanted to say that I always have been sorry for your loss. You and I had some very personal conversations via PM years ago regarding your son in comparison to my own struggles of addiction to MDPV at the time. These talks were instumental in my achievement to overcome that addiction.

Thank you. I'm sorry you had to loose your son. Your perspective helped me not to loose myself.

I realize this is a very personal message probably better suited to a PM, however, I see it being beneficial to have it documented here for others to read:

Basically: MDPV is highly addictive and can be quite destructive. I struggled with that addiction for years. Even once I decided enough was enough I was still finding it very difficult to stop. Learning about the loss of herbavores son helped me put things in perspective. This was not the clinching moment when I finally did quite, but it was a significant step along the way.
 
I remember our conversations well and I'm really proud of you. It cannot have been easy. I am, more than anything, truly happy for you. <3
 
Herb, It also can't have been easy on you. You really are a star! You help so many people. You really are wonderful. It must not be easy yet you seem to care effortlessly. You have a massive heart full of love <3
 
I feel highly inappropriate posting here right now after reading what's been discussed lately. I'm so sorry Herbavore... I don't know what to say.

A few personal observations about peevee after using it on and off for years:
-The intensity of the high I had from mdpv around the time I first experienced it surpassed by far those I ever got from any stimulant I've tried (methylphenidate, ethylphenidate, dextroamphetamine, 3-FA, 4-FA, street MDMA).

-The side-effects get worse with time,so does the subjective perception of said side-effects, due to the lessened euphoria. The masking of side-effects granted by the initial euphoria is the key reason of the fiendish redosing associated with mdpv.

-MDPV is the only stimulant in my experience which not only didn't increase my enjoyment of music, but went so far as to totally nullify it more than once.

-Only stimulant in my experience to not only combine horribly with alcohol, but even end up killing the effects of the former.

-Only stimulant I've seen to cause long-lasting paranoid and delusional thinking even after casual use without sleep-deprivation.

-My favourite method of administration for stims, in the case of mdpv, always had the odd after-effect of altering my sense of smell for a day or two. Typically making me perceive a smell similar to ""cum". Recently though, intranasal administration made me vomit almost inevitably. I wonder if anyone had the same unusual reaction?
 
MDPV_Psychosis said:
Hey nick

Missing MDPV Something fierce as of late.

It's been on my mind a lot lately; My days are filled with day dreams of hitting the foil while my nights are filled with dreams of me trying to use but never succeeding.

Still keeping away from MDPV and all its relatives. I've only had a couple of short 2-3 day binges within the last 1.75 years.

How have you been?
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Sorry for late (very) late reply mate, I have been busy a lot lazy month.

thats fuckin amazing u done So long and only touched it a few times, nice done! <3

I Still think about it but not often, I have not had any in a long time, I think it's Six month or more.

In fact not had any stimz in pretty long time, only been alcohol & benzos. But not touched alcohol in 12 days now, I am fuckin proud of my self.

(Still got broken keyboard, So copy/paste big 'S' atm :| )

ALL THE BEST TO U & ALL OTHERS <3 <3
 
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Nicklazz said:
Sorry for late (very) late reply mate, I have been busy a lot lazy month.

thats fuckin amazing u done So long and only touched it a few times, nice done! <3

I Still think about it but not often, I have not had any in a long time, I think it's Six month or more.

In fact not had any stimz in pretty long time, only been alcohol & benzos. But not touched alcohol in 12 days now, I am fuckin proud of my self.

(Still got broken keyboard, So copy/paste big 'S' atm :| )

ALL THE BEST TO U & ALL OTHERS <3 <3
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That's great news nicklazz. You should be proud of yourself. Keep up the good work.
 
I had to stop pv I was staying up 3 days trying to finish college and stank of pv all time I was 1yr off it thought I'd order couple g for ban but seller Only had 250g sealed bag to sell. As couldn't sell to customers offered me it £500 soooo tempted but didn't give in still fancy a bit some days can still get apvp but not anything like as good as old pv bye bye pv missed but not forgotten lol
 
If I didn't have a family to look after, then I would kill myself. I hate life. I want this bullshit struggle of survival to end.

I relapsed. Like the fucking low life drug addict that I am. I've been clean for so long too.

It wasnt mdpv but that's irrelevant these days. ANY stimulate takes me to the same place. I have no control once I start, I use WAY more than I should. I get hyper sexual, maniac and start losing the plot.

I can't stop crying. I don't want to live. I haven't for so damn long. But my family needs me. They actually have a chance at finding happiness in this life, but if I were to kill myself then maybe it would rob them of that opportunity. I can't condem others to misery just to end mine. Plus I'm chicken shit. But I WISH hard all the time that this will all end soon.

Drugs were the only thing I found in life that I truly enjoy. But I cannot use anymore. These last two years have proven that I cannot moderate myself anymore. So I am done self medicating. It worked great for many years... but those days are long gone.

DO YOU HEAR ME GOD? I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE.
 
^ You had a blip mate, don't beat yourself up about it too much, you're only human, mistakes happen. It doesn't make you a lowlife, look at the positives, you have a family and it sounds like you love them, you were clean for a long time and had a blip, that's all it is. You've recognised that you've made a mistake, that's a good thing, learn from it, what made you relapse, whatever took you there try and avoid it in future. Killing yourself is certainly not going to help anyone, especially the family that you love.
 
Relapses are par of the course for us folks though, try not to beat yourself up over it and pick up where you left off, by the sounds of things you are doing great keeping away from peeve and trying to change things for the better. I and several of my close family have been where you are mate you can get past it. Volunteering helped me enourmously, giving me a reson to get up and leave the house in the mornings and interact with others. Have a look and see what projects are available in your area. Then there is volunteering abroad (EU) for 6months or 1 year this could be great to give you a change of scenery, people and a new take on life. Plus getting away from familiar "trigger" situations is helpful too. Just a suggestion.
 
Thanks for the support guys.

I wrote that post while coming down so please forgive me. I'm not usually very dramatic but I was having a very difficult time.

I'm almost back to normal... Just need a good nights rest. I bet I wake up tomorrow and it will be like this almost didn't even happen. I'm confident this is just a minor blip... I was just way out of it earlier.
 
Glad to hear your feeling a bit better man. Oooft i know that comedown feeling though, you just feel like the lowest of the low and nothing is possible anymore. Hope you recover from that quick. Take care of yourself man.
 
MDPV_Psychosis said:
Thanks for the support guys.

I wrote that post while coming down so please forgive me. I'm not usually very dramatic but I was having a very difficult time.

I'm almost back to normal... Just need a good nights rest. I bet I wake up tomorrow and it will be like this almost didn't even happen. I'm confident this is just a minor blip... I was just way out of it earlier.
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That's cool man, shit happens, crazy thoughts can engulf everyone from time to time, especially during a comedown.
 
^^two posts up^^
I'm wondering the same thing. I hope the PV megathread will continue on. I hope everyone is well. Mr. Psychosis, Im glad you recovered from your recent stumble. Nicklazz, stay plugged in and posting, I like to know you're doing well. Anyone heard from shambles recently?
Anyway, happiness.
The Prof
 
Hey The Prof, Nice to see u! Damn its a long time no see. Im Doing well, I have thinkin of PV & a-pvp for ages but not touched, it will destroy me, and I can't have that, but yes I will continue posting in here my friend :). How are u my dear fellow fiend?

MDPV_P, I hope u OK mate, all the best from here.
 
^glad to see you guys are all alive and well. I was once addicted to MDPV too but luckily I realised the last time when I had 10+ grams how crazy it was driving me and that was it. Bad news that stuff, sent alot of people I know crazy.
 
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