Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

[itchyscratchy]

Since I'm too nervous on phone calls and don't have a Doctor I tried logging onto my HMO website hoping to connect electronically ...

"We're sorry, but we are unable to complete your request right now. Please try again later."

Finally summon the courage and dial all the numbers out of desperation, "all offices are closed at this time."

another day gone. Already plotting my course of alcoholism for the next two weeks.
Hope for better luck next month...

Why do you feel like you have to wait till next month to try to call again? And why are you "plotting your course of alcoholism" and why for the next two weeks?

 

[noone1]

That isn't really my experience at all. It seems that after you cross some kind of threshold, any type of use causes some kind of withdrawal. I know if I had even two or three beers tonight I would feel like garbage in the morning. So I am not going to do that. Also, many of us around here on BL have had poly-substance addictions. I sure as fuck do. I was thinking in a meeting today about how many of us 30 and younger identify as "alcoholic addicts". It just seems that nowadays that most addicts are going to at least have some type of access to different substances. Its just the way it is. I believe that this makes us more susceptible to withdrawal.. especially if you have used other gabergenics.

Do you mean real withdrawal or just a hangover though? I'm talking about life threatening seizures are overstated because it's better to be safe than sorry and be overly cautious with addicts. I do worry about "kindling" though, which is something everyone here should worry about if they dry out and go back on the wagon constantly. Anecdotal evidence but 2-3 days of skipping drinking seems to be the best number to stave off real withdrawal. I've never even had the shakes.

And then of course as I am thinking this during my morning meeting (yeah, right now I am trying to hit two a day.. I don't care what anybody else thinks of that.. its what I gotta do), an old timer shares about how he is thankful that the "drug scene wasn't as big back then compared to today". Funny how that works. Its almost like my ultra liberal addict self still shares many similarities with a conservative, gun owning, bearded biker dude then I thought.



Yup. My liver still checks out normal somehow. And yes, binge drinking is likely worse then maintenance drinking. I was more of a maintenance drinker myself, however I have started binging occasionally as well. That has to stop right fucking now.

My liver enzymes are back to normal but I worry about my brain. Oh well I think too much anyways. Sometimes I wonder if those studies are bullshit though, they've only been done on rats.

Also, a large amount of my friends drink at levels that are medically dangerous. Society itself does. Americans in particular have a really weird relationship with alcohol. We really like to turn it into an almost forbidden fruit which for people like me makes it more tempting. Our puritanical roots also come into play and I think that the Alcohol Industry knows this, which is why they sometimes try to portray drinking as rebellious (and we a are a country formed via rebellion).

Anyways, I have 6 days today. Sleep sucks but overall I feel better. I have no idea how I am getting off so light. Its hard as hell and I need tons of help, but I am very thankful that I am able to at least function and go about my day during this withdrawal period (which really feels as if the physical stuff is ending, but I know what comes next and it ain't pretty.)


Also, as for Doctors, while it sucks to do, it is important to be honest and acknowledge you are an alcoholic and or addict (if you have such problems). Why? Because its your life and you need to try to be as healthy as possible. This includes working with your Doctor (if you are lucky enough to have insurance of course.)

Glad you found something that works for you. I don't know about anyone else but I don't think I have a problem (yet) 8 units of alcohol every two or three days while quietly watching a movie after work doesn't seem such a big deal after reading this thread. If it really starts to effect my health (and it slowly is I see an ulcer coming very soon) I'll stop (hopefully)

 

[phactor]

Do you mean real withdrawal or just a hangover though? I'm talking about life threatening seizures are overstated because it's better to be safe than sorry and be overly cautious with addicts. I do worry about "kindling" though, which is something everyone here should worry about if they dry out and go back on the wagon constantly. Anecdotal evidence but 2-3 days of skipping drinking seems to be the best number to stave off real withdrawal. I've never even had the shakes.

Real withdrawal, might be minor but its withdrawal for sure (for me, most important thing, this is my experience and my body which is genetically primed for addictions, seriously my family tree is filled with addiction all the way to its roots. I visited my ancestral homelands in Ireland and was told that my ancestor who founded this monastary was "fond of wine". None of us were surprised lol)

As for you having a problem or not, that is up to you. I was drinking daily, but it was often 3-6 beers at most. I was using drugs and shit which made it much worse. Plus, like I said I am primed for it and I have been abusing shit for 15 years. I also started using young while my brain was still very much developing.

 

[itchyscratchy]

Thur. 15th Just got out of court, and they didnt find probable cause. DISMISSED. I had .37 of a gram and the funny thing is my lawyer goes to me " I'm not telling you to do it but if you go copping, make sure you dont get more than a 1.0 gram cause %99 of the time they throw it out anything less. Funny, a brother that was with me in jail was sitting there in a sweatsut(I'm in a DKNY suit wit a white shirt and a tie) like "shit...this aint shit." He goes to me.." Shiit you went got a nice suit and a lawyer?...Shiit this shit gonna get dismissed in a minute and the you gonna be mad you spent money ona lawyer." Sure enought I'm pissed! $1.500 for an hour of him being there! He was giddy as fuck when he called me last night...no wonder. He knew this shit was going to be thrown out. After I pay him, he tells me that your criminal record is not being brought up. If he told me that earlier I would have never retained him. But better safe than sorry. The brother on the bench gave me a look like "itold you so.." On the way out of court, I told ma lawyer thank you and he turns around and sais "NO, Thank you.".
Fucking $1.500 dollar mistake. Wtf is the silver lining? I still lost my job spent all my money on lawyer.
Now I have to wait to get a call to get this shit off of my ankle.
Take care people.
PS My lucky polyester baby-blue leasure suit worked!!!!

 

[phactor]

Still sober today! A bit down currently, but I slept for shit last night. Meeting up with my sponsor tonight and had a great meeting already today.

 

[itchyscratchy]

Still sober today! A bit down currently, but I slept for shit last night. Meeting up with my sponsor tonight and had a great meeting already today.

Good for you man! Sleeping like shit I think comes with the territory. Me, I can sleep one night and the next 2 nights I have insomnia. I'm finally over the night sweats but still feel like I can't sleep...wierd dreams too! The first thng I wanted to do when I got out of court today is get hammered to celebrate. It's fucking hard man, I can find any kind of an excuse to celebrate! (rain, sunny day, Friday...fucking anything) Chistmas, hanukah, quanza! It's wierd. But I figured it's a good day why mess with it.(although I took a K-pin before I went to court). I always was always at lack for words with my sponsor. One day I called him up and he sounded trashed! I'm like "you OK?" He's like " I'm in Vegas partying with Kid Rock and shit" I told him to call me when he gets back to Chicago and he never did. When I tried calling him, the phone was disconnected. That was my last sponsor. Have a good meeting dude.
Later. PS some kind of major shit went down today in your neck of the woods huh? Caught the tail end of it on the news this morn.

 

[phactor]

Good for you man! Sleeping like shit I think comes with the territory. Me, I can sleep one night and the next 2 nights I have insomnia. I'm finally over the night sweats but still feel like I can't sleep...wierd dreams too! The first thng I wanted to do when I got out of court today is get hammered to celebrate. It's fucking hard man, I can find any kind of an excuse to celebrate! (rain, sunny day, Friday...fucking anything) Chistmas, hanukah, quanza! It's wierd. But I figured it's a good day why mess with it.(although I took a K-pin before I went to court). I always was always at lack for words with my sponsor. One day I called him up and he sounded trashed! I'm like "you OK?" He's like " I'm in Vegas partying with Kid Rock and shit" I told him to call me when he gets back to Chicago and he never did. When I tried calling him, the phone was disconnected. That was my last sponsor. Have a good meeting dude.
Later. PS some kind of major shit went down today in your neck of the woods huh? Caught the tail end of it on the news this morn.

Yeah, sounds like something crazy went down. Also, you are totally right about there being zero tolerance for DUI where I am at. I remember being here six years ago and looking out the window and seeing so many people pulled over. I was aghast. Usually the rule in Rockford is you are given leeway as long as you are not veering around the road. The cops have better things to do then pull over someone who had 3 beers instead of 2.

As for bad sponsors, I have had them. I am giving this guy a shot. Another guy I talked to said that my sponsors clean time was too short. Oh well, I guess all I can do is try it out.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

All sponsors are drug addicts too, one of the counsellors at the treatment centre I was at in 2012 has since relapsed. It's unfortunate when it happens but such is the nature of the beast.

 

[itchyscratchy]

All sponsors are drug addicts too, one of the counsellors at the treatment centre I was at in 2012 has since relapsed. It's unfortunate when it happens but such is the nature of the beast.

(sucks that I don't know how to encompass two posts and respond to them individually like other people do it[respond to two names] with one post.) Phactor, it's not even DUI, it's everything! In your county they passed a law that there's a unit whose sole purpose is to administer blood tests post accidents 24/7! In other words, in IL they are allowed to force you to a blood test only if there were injuries involved and in that case they used to drive you to the hospital to take blood, now in case of that occurance they have a unit on stand-by that shows up on the scene and takes your blood on the scene so they don't give you any time time to metabolize any amount of alcohol and run the risk of your b.a.c. dropping below legal limit. They are assholes! I have had the displeasure of dealing with them for 3 years. My lawyer said they are trying to give his client 3 years for pos. of heroin resedue. The jail is kind of like a bad hotel but the judicial sustem is horrible. My sponsors time was loooong! That's why it was so unexpexted! But he was waiting for a settlement for his back.(lots of money)Whatever, could of told me, I'm the last person to judge someones fuck ups.
Yeah, I know that MK2, but it's kind of disheartening because I kind of felt like he was my friend on some level(I have not had any friends in a long time before that[just people I got drunk with]) And then he just never called or anything and he had both my #, my g/fs# and my house #. Like it's hard enough for me to invest in friendships cause I forgot how to relate to anybody while I was sober and he basically said "Fuck you". You know what I mean? I know it's the nature of the beast and I've went on benders before but eventually I call the people I call friends...not just blow them off.
Did I say it already...? I'm off house arrest!!! DISMISSED!!! My luckey polyester suit worked! HA!
I'm probably gonna be yelling that in the next few post!!! LOL! I'm happy.
Later folks.
DISMISSED!!!

 

[tremours]

fuck i got drunk and lost all my stuff again, i might of sold my ebt card but got to wait til i find the guy iwas drinking with earlier. at least if i dont get get it back i wont be tempted to buy vanilla extract on the down side no food and its back to boosting

 

[DrinksWithEvil]

Marry me ?

 

[itchyscratchy]

fuck i got drunk and lost all my stuff again, i might of sold my ebt card but got to wait til i find the guy iwas drinking with earlier. at least if i dont get get it back i wont be tempted to buy vanilla extract on the down side no food and its back to boosting

Cant you say you lost it or something? I never sold my EBT but I let people shop with it before and they would give me %75 on a dollar. Wtf were you drinking? Can't you get emergency funds atleast from DbHS? Boosting might get you meal but the scenery might suck. Idk what state you're in but boosting anything over $300.00(I think) is a felony. I would advise against boosting anything but if you absolutely have to boost something...No fuck that, I'm not telling you to boost shit glitter kiss. Call the DHS office and tell them you lost your card. When does your card replenish?

 

[itchyscratchy]

Marry me ?

She's spoken for by me, you angry homewrecker!!! LMAO! DWE, I hate your avatar, its hypnotic...that's a really disturbing fucking sight if it was real! HA!
Later.

 

[itchyscratchy]

fuck i got drunk and lost all my stuff again, i might of sold my ebt card but got to wait til i find the guy iwas drinking with earlier. at least if i dont get get it back i wont be tempted to buy vanilla extract on the down side no food and its back to boosting

Report your card lost to DHS. If you start boosting, anything more than $300.00 is a felony. You might get some food but the scenery might not be the greatest. And detoxing in jail is fucking horrible. Report your card! Don't know what state you re in but sometimes they give you emergency funds on your NEW card. Wtf were you drinking? There are predators out there. Reject all of Drinks with Evil advances...he will only hurt you. LOL! No but seriously call the DHS office (or whatever it's called in your state)and tell them you lost your card...see what they can do. I hope you read the stuff people were posting about drinking vanilla. ^^^^^^
Take care of yourself.

 

[tremours]

i drank two 1/5ths of vodka in like 3 hours, and all i boost is half gallons so a misdameanor at most and supposedly my friend doesnt have my card so i just have retrace mysteps and hopefully find it, otherwise i just have to go get another card.

 

[itchyscratchy]

While you're retracing..., go report your card lost, cause today is Friday and you won't be able to call those people till Mon. otherwise. The quicker you report it, the faster it will come. " two 5ths of vodka" thats alot! I would either pass out or do something really stupid if I drank that much vodka that fast. Go report your card before you pass out or do some dumb shit.
Take care.

 

[phactor]

Realized I skipped a day I believe. 10 days sober today! Had a great meeting last night but I also ended up at a weird meeting where they only used the first edition of the big book and we could not talk about using drugs. I will not be going back to that one lol.

Also, Glitter_Kiss, when you sober up maybe take a look at your drinking. I understand what it is like in active addiction, but is it really worth risking your freedom and a jailhouse kick?

Oh yeah, I slept great last night! Wow.

 

[Trez]

I quit drinking this month and it's only just dawned on me how shit my life has become. Any chance that things will improve at any point? It's been 17 days, which is good going, but I was lead to believe there'd be some mythical pink clouds and I'd be riding unicorns to sobersville. Sorry, for some reason tonight I'm totally bitter about the whole thing.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I quit drinking this month and it's only just dawned on me how shit my life has become. Any chance that things will improve at any point? It's been 17 days, which is good going, but I was lead to believe there'd be some mythical pink clouds and I'd be riding unicorns to sobersville. Sorry, for some reason tonight I'm totally bitter about the whole thing.

17 days in is nothing, I'm not sure who led you to believe all would be fun and games once you got clean but it was serious misinformation. Life is better than using, but suddenly you have a whole wave of concerns and problems that weren't there when you were using. Things do gett better, but it takes time. The nature of life is that it's shitty as well as good, but 17 days in you're basically just consumed by all the shittyness from your using and your emotions will be all over the place. It takes hard work for things to get better, so don't think it's going to be handed to you on a plate, but if you do work and put the right action in things will get better.

Keep chipping away, keep being vigilant around your actions, keep thinking positive, keep working hard on your recovery and then things will get better. I would strongly suggest you stop listening to whoever suggested life was going to be a bed of roses as soon as you stopped using because they clearly haven't got a clue what they're talking about.

One love.

 

[SilverFeniks]

I'm a maintenance drinker / functioning alcoholic when it comes to beer, but despite my hatred of liquor I frequently hit up the liquor store in an effort to obliterate my existence.
Made that mistake yet again this week .. suffering extreme pain and internal bleeding as a result. Hardly the first time I've damaged my organs, but this is a new record.
can't stop drinking though. Was gonna buy some cannabis in another attempt to transition but was feeling too shitty to bother. Still too afraid to ring up the HMO when I'm daytime sober (too busy thinking about drinking)

Have enough beer for the weekend, then it's business trip time in a big city .. praying to the god I dont believe in that my injury will heal and I'll somehow avoid the bars next week.