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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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well made it afew days on just beer, than went back to the supermarket, luckily i grabbed the 1/5th instead of the 1/2 otherwise it might of turned into another binge. I need to stop hanging around ather drunks if i ever get serious about stopping, it seems like I have no willopower to refuse a free drink
 
noone1 said:
Sounds more like pancreatitis or your kidneys if it's on your left side. More likely though it's just an upset stomach from the milk thistle and vitamins. Milk thistle sets off my acid reflux.

Dang sounds like you got way more going on than I do. I don't find myself having a problem with giving up drugs/alcohol at the drop of a hat except then I have to face reality and my social anxiety and the sheer boredom.

Good luck man.
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Thank you for the kind words. I have actually managed to get mitigating circumstances that will allow me to hand in my dissertation next week instead. A huge relief.

It is not that I have not been doing the work, I just had a melt down recently.

I am now confident I can get this handed in. I mentioned my depression and my drinking, and sadly my suicidal thoughts as of late to my doctor. They are providing me with a letter confirming this.

I did drink tonight. But only 4 x 330cl bottles of 4.5 % ABV lager. So not too much for me anyways.

In relation to you mentioning pancreatitis, I have been diagnosed with Gilberts Syndrome due to occasional bouts of Jaundice, with no other explanation from liver function tests but to point the finger to that. I probably shouldn't be drinking if I have that either...

I am smashing this work out tomorrow and Saturday!!! It's really putting a strain on my mother now, like visibly... learning first hand now that addiction doesn't just mess with the user...

x2thec
 
Depressing every time I realize I've only been sober 3days in a year or more, only due to extreme mental/physical illness.
I long for illegal drug addiction, which I never regretted to this extent. My anxiety, paranoia, and anti-socialism keep me exclusively drinking though.
The same factors have kept me from seeking medical or social intervention for years. I'm long overdue but petrified to speak out beyond the anonymity of the Internet.
So I kill myself incrementally, to the death...
 
SilverFeniks said:
Depressing every time I realize I've only been sober 3days in a year or more, only due to extreme mental/physical illness.
I long for illegal drug addiction, which I never regretted to this extent. My anxiety, paranoia, and anti-socialism keep me exclusively drinking though.
The same factors have kept me from seeking medical or social intervention for years. I'm long overdue but petrified to speak out beyond the anonymity of the Internet.
So I kill myself incrementally, to the death...
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Stop making excuses and get yourself some help. It's not easy but it is simple, you walk into a doctor's and just say the words 'I have a drink problem'.
 
Haven't had a drink in five days, don't intend on having another. Today I can say that if I could snap my fingers and ensure I stay clean and never touch beer or drugs forever I would do it. Not sure if I could have ever said that before. Today, trying to moderate and manage my use is just too much fucking work and its taking up too much mental and physical energy.
 
phactor said:
Haven't had a drink in five days, don't intend on having another. Today I can say that if I could snap my fingers and ensure I stay clean and never touch beer or drugs forever I would do it. Not sure if I could have ever said that before. Today, trying to moderate and manage my use is just too much fucking work and its taking up too much mental and physical energy.
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Congratulations on the change in mindset.:)

Unfortunately it aint that simple.
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
Congratulations on the change in mindset.:)

Unfortunately it aint that simple.
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I was sober a few years ago for a year and a half. If I did it then I can do it again. And a change in mindset is the first step. But I am not going to argue this, because the journey is different for everyone.

Also, my use, especially since I got sober and then started has never felt right and not really even been enjoyable at the end of the day.
 
phactor said:
I was sober a few years ago for a year and a half. If I did it then I can do it again. And a change in mindset is the first step. But I am not going to argue this, because the journey is different for everyone.

Also, my use, especially since I got sober and then started has never felt right and not really even been enjoyable at the end of the day.
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Yeah, speaking strictly about my myself(cause it is diff. for everybody), I lost count of how many times I have tried controlled drinking. But what happens with me is that I don't enjoy drinking while I'm trying to control it and when I don't try to control it gets bad really quick. So to be honest, I just go from day to day hoping not to feel that urge to "just have one" cause for me one means very many in the near future untill some outside force stops me.(unstable way to live) Like some people can't drink the next day, I'm like that one commercial back in the day when the monkey chose cocaine over water untill he died, exept for me it's booze. Someone mentioned rubbing alcohol in this thread...yeah I drank that shit a few times mixed with pop and believe me, it's not even like an alcohol feeling. It hits you all at once and feels more like a drug, plus you feel like you have a brain damaging hangover for the next week and a half and even after that you dont feel the same. To this day, I gag on soft carbonated soft drinks b/c my brain associates it with drinking rubbing alc..Don't do it, you will regret it. I don't know Phactor, maybe you are getting bored with it...I know people that just got bored with getting drunk. It happens.
Later ppl.
 
itchyscratchy said:
Yeah, speaking strictly about my myself(cause it is diff. for everybody), I lost count of how many times I have tried controlled drinking. But what happens with me is that I don't enjoy drinking while I'm trying to control it and when I don't try to control it gets bad really quick. So to be honest, I just go from day to day hoping not to feel that urge to "just have one" cause for me one means very many in the near future untill some outside force stops me.(unstable way to live) Like some people can't drink the next day, I'm like that one commercial back in the day when the monkey chose cocaine over water untill he died, exept for me it's booze. Someone mentioned rubbing alcohol in this thread...yeah I drank that shit a few times mixed with pop and believe me, it's not even like an alcohol feeling. It hits you all at once and feels more like a drug, plus you feel like you have a brain damaging hangover for the next week and a half and even after that you dont feel the same. To this day, I gag on soft carbonated soft drinks b/c my brain associates it with drinking rubbing alc..Don't do it, you will regret it. I don't know Phactor, maybe you are getting bored with it...I know people that just got bored with getting drunk. It happens.
Later ppl.
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I doubt I would ever get "bored" with drinking. I would be bored while drinking, but not bored with it. However, I am totally sick of drinking and using which just fucks shit up in my life and makes me hate myself honestly. I actually somehow never drank "products", but I have heard that it can be rough.

Also, we are not that far away from each other I believe!

glitter_kiss said:
how bad is when your drinking like a liter of vanilla extract aday
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I am not sure what your story is, but drinking "products" is generally a bad sign. Why are you choosing them over traditional drink?
 
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glitter_kiss said:
well its about 40% and i can buy it with ebt,
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Hmm. All I can tell you is that drinking products is a question I was asked at my treatment center if I ever engaged in. One of the few things I could mark "no" for. Anyways, do you think you are an alcoholic? Do you think you have a drinking problem?
 
hggg

phactor said:
I doubt I would ever get "bored" with drinking. I would be bored while drinking, but not bored with it. However, I am totally sick of drinking and using which just fucks shit up in my life and makes me hate myself honestly. I actually somehow never drank "products", but I have heard that it can be rough
Also, we are not that far away from each other I believe!


I am not sure what your story is, but drinking "products" is generally a bad sign. Why are you choosing them over traditional drink?
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ghglghlg
 
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Yep, we might be not that far from each other I'm close to Randhurst mall. Bored was the term other people were using, for me it's more like disenchanted. I'm not sick of drinking per say, I'm sick of the instability that comes with it. And I'm sick of waiting for that next time shit snaps and I drnk again. Cause like I said earlier when I start I basically have to prepare to lose myjob, waste alot if not all of the money that I saved on dope and booze and other shit that I would not buy otherwise and so on. I basically have to hit the wall to stop. Its' kind of like a freight train, it's very slow picking up momentum but then it's hard to stop. Oh, the reason I resorted to drinking rubbing alcohol was because my g/f would hide my wallet to stop me and that's what was in the house. Yeah I know, sick. Worse than it sounds!
 
Yep, we might be not that far from each other I'm close to Randhurst mall. Bored was the term other people were using, for me it's more like disenchanted. I'm not sick of drinking per say, I'm sick of the instability that comes with it. And I'm sick of waiting for that next time shit snaps and I drnk again. Cause like I said earlier when I start I basically have to prepare to lose myjob, waste alot if not all of the money that I saved on dope and booze and other shit that I would not buy otherwise and so on. I basically have to hit the wall to stop. Its' kind of like a freight train, it's very slow picking up momentum but then it's hard to stop. Oh, the reason I resorted to drinking rubbing alcohol was because my g/f would hide my wallet to stop me and that's what was in the house. Yeah I know, sick. Worse than it sounds!
 
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^ Don't know what or how I did that but I apologize. I was trying to respond to Phactor and then it said something about too few charachters...eh whatever. I hate being computer...wait how do you spell illiterate...I think I got it. LOL!
 
glitter_kiss said:
well its about 40% and i can buy it with ebt,
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ha! I got a visual of glitter girl pushing a cart full of vanilla extract cases in Sam's Club(a wholesale grocery store)..."I like vanilla cookies! Alright! Leave me alone!!"...sorry...I drank vanilla before, never enough to catch a buzz though. I think I was trying to cure what normal drinkers would consider a hangover, for me I think it was DTs. The shit we do...Once I was on a 3 day bender with this chick and a dude I just met two nights prior smoking crack, we walked into Jewel and just loaded the cart full of bottles that I didn't even know about...(but they were so pretty at the time) that the bottles were ready to start falling out(a MOUND!)Luckely my debit card was maxed from all the trips to the ATM from smoking crack...so I settled for a forty of steel reserve.
Take care.
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
Stop making excuses and get yourself some help. It's not easy but it is simple, you walk into a doctor's and just say the words 'I have a drink problem'.
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If I want a Drs appt I have to wait 6-8 weeks and try to get a day off (difficult) .. and I'm super nervous on the phone so I've never been able to call in. Never been able to be honest with Docs, formed the habit of lying for avoidance at an early age. I want to overcome it but it's as difficult as willing sobriety.

Had some disturbing thoughts about alcohol lately. Saw my family this weekend so naturally I drank even more than normal.
Looks like next week I'm gonna be bar-hopping in the big city, or else getting tanked in my hotel room. If I can control my urges to escalate this week I guess that will be victory enough.
 
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