I've never IVed anything, though perhaps fetishized it in my naive teen/early 20 something psyche. The one time I did heroin, thank god, I was in 'good' hands, ironically. NA connects, of all people. Though decent folk. One in particular, the girl, I was close wit at the time. We were all at bottom and went on a bender. To their credit, hey still didn't let me do anything other than insulfate. I remember watching my girl friend IV w/ morbid curiosity as she went through her ritual, and after a few hours, asked her to help me push off - BOTH, even the sketchier fellow w/ us, refused and thought it was wrong, even though I had supplied the needles. I now see as a blessing. I was younger, genuinely didn't care if the worst happened due to extenuating circumstances, and so I lost my fear for what I was trying to shut off inside me. I was only one rung above my soon to come bottom, and was emotionally empty or at least incapable of dealing w/ the larger issues I was facing. Which was selfish, given what I'd put my loved ones through at the time.
Looking back, it is something I'm eternally grateful and am ashamed at my own naive (at the time) self-pity. Just felt life was about to swallow me whole. And it did. But I needed to be humbled and made more aware. I had so much to learn. Still do, but no longer know it's entirely accurate or 'real' to romanticize things the way I once did. I've me enough on the other side of IV usage who more or less killed that fascination. I lacked perspective (at the time) and awareness of the LT results. Or was on self-destruct. I know not to eve want to make something I had control over seduce me, regardless of the fate I was facing in weeks.
I now know I was lucky, not to mention a dumb, impetuous kid. I now know from people I talked with what an unpredictable, slave-ike gamble it is that ruins lives. On sny level, even mine at times when I lost my way. It isn't something I want to play with, and I've gambled in other areas, so this keeps me focused. Plus I no longer live just for myself. And that gives me something/one to continue to try to evolve for.
I know this is trivial to what many have shared. I just am sharing my moment where I almost crossed that line. I can say it won't happen again b/c I'm a different person. Not perfect, at all, but different.