Everyone....I have not just been reemed, as rappergonebad said....I've been fucked up the ass w a sandpaper condom....I am exhausted right now, so pardon the vulgarity. It's the truth though. And my ass is bleeding nonstop.
This is a strange situation. I have a Dr....whom I go to today. I take MS Contin, three times a day. Problem is my husband lost all his meds, and depends on me sharing this Rx, which obviously doesnt last a gd month. I am CONSTANTLY stressed out....and it's showing. I am not at all being myself for the obvious reasons, and wanting to choke this guy out.
The phone trick is a dangerous one, and I know it. If I do that, I need to be prepared for the reprocussions. No doubt if I ever get the opportunity to go directly to the dealer, they will be furious when we compare notes. HE is taking money that would be theirs...that doesn't go over real well w dealers. It's like a get shot in the back of the head kind of thing.
I don't have overwhelming fear....I think I told you guys I went to N. Philly, which is really really dangerous, and ambulances won't even go to...and some guy w "murder" tattoed on his forehead approached me. I decided I wanted to buy from someone else, and he went nuts (murder head)....running around waving a gun, so I started running in a neighborhood I'm not familialr with...Jesus Christ. I felt like I was going to wet myself.
Being that I WILL approach the dealer and say "I'm the person that buys through 'the pizza guy'" The friend, when he was a little drunk, and coked up told me they call him "the pizza guy" ....Oshea, 95land was correct in what he said about this jack off. I"m not upset at all that he delivers pizzas...he definately was implying that I don't give him enough....when he said "I know you're good to me...BUT..." That's when I lost my ever-lovin mind....I guess over a hundred dollars everytime I get a bundle isn't enough for him. That's why the veins in my head popped out. I felt like I could'n't breathe...that's when I said "DON'T say that...DON'T..saying 'but' after you say something discredits everything you said prior...such as 'you're really hot BUT'".....
Some of you know I don't have a car, and that's my entire problem...I'd be doing this myself if I did...I"m NOT the kind of girl that depends on anyone, and have a real difficult time stomaching it. That being said, meeting the dealer is near impossible unless he's either drunk and takes me w him...which probably won't happen....or I try to jog behind his SUV.....or I take his phone...and I'm pissed off enough to do it at this time. But, I do know w every action, there is a reaction. Once he figures out what I did, he's going to be pissed. He has a liscence to carry and always has a gun on him...which, for the record, I forget about all of the time.
Some of you don't know, I lost my dad about a yr ago, and it was a terrible situation. Mourning for me is so confusing. I'm so pissed off at my dad...and at the same time...I miss my daddy. The same w my mother. I grew up w MILITANT parents....The reason I am mentioning that I lost my dad a yr ago is because it relates to what I'm about to say...
One weekend, about five mos ago....I had no money available for a few days. I was as sick as hell. I asked the friend if he could front to me until Tuesday. I honestly did get money Tuesday. Anyway, he held my father's flatscreen TV as collateral, as well as charging me quadruple...I'm not exaggerating...Quadruple. I was in H and Lyrica withdrawal at the same time, ready to jump out of a window.
HE made me sign this piece of paper that made it impossible for me to get my father's TV back...it said I had to pay him by Friday or he keeps the TV, when I told him I couldn't pay him until Tuesday....look, I would've signed a paper agreeing to be gang-raped the way I was feeling....it was the Lyrica that was insanely bad....kinda like benzo and opiate wd magnified about ten times, at the same time.
Anway, I paid him....in full...on Tuesday. I asked for my daddy's, not my father's, my "daddy's" TV back. He said I could have it back if I bought him a new one...he needs my dad's Tv...he gave his daughter his old one. Truth. When he said that to me, I nearly lost my mind.
So yesterday, I called him at least sixty times...again, he didn't pick up his phone until 10p.m. I was sick ALL DAY. So he tells me he was sick in bed, which I called before he said it. He says that about once every other week to once a week..."He was so sick, and sweating so bad, he had to flip his mattress"...I said "That's funny, same here". I also told him "I understand....but I don't give a fuck, and I don't believe you" Then the shouting starts...as if shouting/being louder makes you right.
(I got my shit, and got straight at 11:38pm.) It snowed where I am, and it was icy last night...when he came to pick up the money, he told me it was gonna be about an hour and a half until he got back with it. ????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!u@#@#@$#$#@#@#@?????!!!!!! I had already been waiting for eleven hours. He only had to go about ten mins away....if that. I said "If I put twenty more out would that speed things up?" Miraculously, he was back within 15-20mins...and I gave him A DOLLAR. Not TWENTY. One dollar. It obviously was a statement. He does this to me all of the time..throws out some "I can't do it for five hours..." as the bait for me to offer him even more money.
Problem:As I mentioned, I have to go to the Dr. today at 2p.m. I'm sure I pissed him off. I don't think I'm going to be feeling the best at 2pm...I had to split a bundle w my husband, I had seven bags,and three got ruined...long story, but, I'll go, as long as I'm not vomitting. I can't fill my MS Contin until Monday....Now you know this guy won't come through for before two p.m. I"ve already texted him and told him I need help by eleven thirty.....yeah, right.
So that is the latest...and I agree w you guys. It's MY HUSBAND that needs to get on Suboxone....he lost two Dr's ...Now, I'm terrified I"m going to lose mine. He's been my Dr. for eight yrs....and a urine test was ordered. I have no MS Contin in my system...and I think H comes up as codeine. If he asks me, I'm going to have to try and put it off...but he might insist and not write my Rx's unless I pee.
I am in some serious shit...the day just started, and I"m already frustrated, and worried. I tried to call the friend, and of course, he's not picking up. So, I'm so tired I'm delusional. I don't really have time to sleep....I have to take a shower, and try to act awake at my Dr...and also hope I'm not vomitting at that time...so that's where it stands right now.
^
Oops. Yeah...that's a little problem there. So, until I find someone else, I'm biding my time. You guys don't think I feel stupid??? And furious? That's because you don't live with me, and don't hear me flip out....or weep.