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Septsober - The September gettn and stayn sober thread

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neversickanymore said:
ACTIVE OR NOT.. LOVE U ALL<3!!!!!!!
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It's true <3



caseface99 said:
GUYS! (and gals)!

WHATS UP?!?!


I'm a slacker, I know. Haven't been around lately. My Girlfriend moved a couple hours away for school today, so I've spent the last few weeks spending as much time as possible with her. I'm sad, but it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen - I knew exactly what I was getting into. On the flip side I'm extremely happy for her. She got sober young enough that she didn't totally fuck up high school, and got strait into a 4 year school! I know I haven't closed any doors on my life but seeing her do this made me realize how much I regret fucking that up for myself. I can still go to a university, but not before getting strait As at a community college for a couple years. Not to mention the time it will take to get through the plethora of classes i wont get credit for, the shit I need to "re learn" from high school. But you know what? She's inspired me. I'ma do what I know I'm capable of doing. :)

Also, I've finally moved up from resident advisor at my SLE and I have a paid management position now. The compensation sucks, but there isn't much work to be done and the responsibility is good for me. Plus there's plenty of room for another part time job.

All in all, I'm doin alright. a bit more than 4 months sober now, though I have been slacking. I need to call my sponsor (might need to find a new one, it's been a minute....) and get back to working steps. I still hit meetings but that isn't enough and I've been feeling it lately. HELLA restless irritable and discontent.


I hope everyone is doing alright. <3
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Wow Case, getting paid as house manager now, movin' up, that's so awesome! Congratulations your sobriety and hard work has paid off, very well deserved!

Glad you got to spend some quality time with your girl before she left <3 So happy you have someone in your life who is sober so you two can enjoy sober life together. I need to get my butt back in gear for school too. I have 3 course left to finish my associates degree. I'm not going to stop there but I really need to finish those up! Lets get to it!

Goodnight all <3 Sending love! Lets keep it strong!
 
Been sober from stims & other drugs for soon two months.
But suddenly decided to start smoking cigarettes (had a pack laying around since forever). Managed to throw them out after 3 cigs.
Still wondering a bit why but happy it didn't escalate though.
Serves to prove, we shouldn't let our guards down i suppose.
 
2 months clean of heroin today, been abusing the fuck out of other drugs (which I've always managed pretty decently). It doesn't feel like I'm making much progress (PAWS-wise) but I have a few friends who are great and listen to me when I'm craving and spend time with me when I might go cop (fucking portland makes it so easy). Even when I alienated all of them and treated them like shit when I was on junk. I'm blessed to still have them care for me. Also feels good to finally be a junior in undergrad and develop a sense of community with my fellow chem majors/having my labs be like ~12 people tops and my classes 18 at most. Never thought I'd find a sense of community with a group of non-junkies since quitting. But it's happening, and it helps so much.
 
mrflowers00 said:
tomorrow i restart my tolerance break it's gonna last till oct 6th then i'm gonna try and use my meds like i'm supposed to
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What medication?


And just a thought - If you can live without them while taking a tolerance break, doesn't that show you that you can live without it period?
 
should i go to rehab for my benzo addiction? i don't feel like i can do this on my own.
 
when i quit opiates i quit CT because i don't have the self control to taper. however, i know with benzos i can NOT quit CT because of how dangerous it is. but i'm afraid of going to rehab. i don't want to be "flagged" as an addict and have doctors view me differently.
 
ad lib... this is just my two cents, I know a lot of people will disagree with me. but I feel like all rehab is really good for is giving you a safe place to detox and to get away for a while. I've been to rehab a few times and it's never worked, all the tools they teach you in rehab were things I was able to learn on my own when I finally WAS ready to give being clean a real chance.

honestly, why not save yourself the money (and chances of ending up somewhere horrible where the bottom line is money and not the addicts), and go to a detox facility? And then just have things in place for when you get out, like therapy and activities to keep you busy?

like I said... just my opinion... don't kill me for advocating against rehab anyone lol
 
ad lib said:
should i go to rehab for my benzo addiction? i don't feel like i can do this on my own.
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Addy I really really think that you should see a new psychiatrist and explain to them the situation and that you need then to prescribe you long acting benzo that you can take once in the morning and once at night to begin your taper. That way you can try this own your own one last time before your last option (inpatient rehab). I can tell you I was in the same situation as you a month ago and I did just as I explained and it has made me functional and happy.
 
thanks everyone <3

I'm going to try talking to my pcp (I see a psychologist just for cbt or "talk" therapy) about switching me to a longer acting benzo. I just have a huge fear of having an anxiety attack one day and not having any benzos around. they're my crutch. I've tried breathing, exercise, etc. and then if all else fails I'll do detox rather than rehab like burtonchick mentioned.

should I tell them about my etizolam use? I eat that like tic-tacs... but since it's not scheduled in the US (right?) then I don't know if they'd know how to handle it.

I've tried to just stop benzos/etizolam but I just felt really depressed and sucidal, until I took a Xanax, and everything was fine. this is like a living hell. it really is.
 
Hey Ad.. way to work this out in the open.. allot of really good advice so far on this.. yeah i would almost never go to a 12 step based rehab without trying the fellowships for free first.. lov ya and you will make it through this.. and fortunately it only takes a little while to wander out of hell<3



24 more=D

NSFW:
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Stay strong ad lib! I can imagine the difficulty you're having right now. I really commend you for taking these steps!

I would definitely recommend some sort of treatment, otherwise a great doctor who will get you through an excellent taper schedule. It's not easy, we all know that, so stay strong! Also don't forget to take the necessary steps to prevent relapse!

<3
 
ad lib said:
thanks everyone <3

I'm going to try talking to my pcp (I see a psychologist just for cbt or "talk" therapy) about switching me to a longer acting benzo. I just have a huge fear of having an anxiety attack one day and not having any benzos around. they're my crutch. I've tried breathing, exercise, etc. and then if all else fails I'll do detox rather than rehab like burtonchick mentioned.

should I tell them about my etizolam use? I eat that like tic-tacs... but since it's not scheduled in the US (right?) then I don't know if they'd know how to handle it.

I've tried to just stop benzos/etizolam but I just felt really depressed and sucidal, until I took a Xanax, and everything was fine. this is like a living hell. it really is.
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I'd talk to them about your etizolam use. Mind you I was in hospital while they stabilized me, but they found the right diazepam taper plan for my phenazepam use.

I also wouldn't worry about being labeled as a drug user; you are one. They will be much more careful with what they prescribe you in the future, but that's in your best interest, and you will be giving them a greater understanding of how they should best treat you. I had a hard time accepting that it was in my best interest at first, but now I am entirely open about my use.
 
^^ I completely agree with you Venrak. A physician can't properly treat someone unless they know exactly what they're dealing with. Obviously I'd recommend working with a doctor you can trust, but this doesn't necessarily mean go doctor shopping for one who will look past you're issues and prescribe narcotics. It means find one who is professional, knows addiction, is compassionate, smart, and wont treat you like a lesser human. :)
 
Venrak said:
I also wouldn't worry about being labeled as a drug user; you are one. They will be much more careful with what they prescribe you in the future, but that's in your best interest, and you will be giving them a greater understanding of how they should best treat you. I had a hard time accepting that it was in my best interest at first, but now I am entirely open about my use.
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two wise and trusted people have pretty much said the exact same thing here ad.. ;)
 
thanks ven & case <3

I think a large part of this too is swallowing my pride & admitting to physicians I have am issue. Opiates were fine cause I quit those on my own -- I was able to quit those on my own because I knew I wasn't really putting myself/life in danger like benzos can.

You're all right with everything you've said; it's just so hard to swallow. I don't know what ever lead me to become an addict...
 
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