EADD Heroin Discussion V18 - Wax on-Wax off-Beetle-down-Beetle up (Hiyer zaramorph)

[maxalfie]

Am still off the gear,was a year on August 31st.
Still taking methadone daily though but am slowly reducing it that, no rush.
Just wanted to say how good it is to see Ructions here again. Hope all is going well with you and one day that magical gear must find you as it's been a long wait.
Good to see you posting though Ructions.

 

[maxalfie]

yeh, I sometimes get gear that I just know isn't gear, it forces me to sleep for a couple of hours and I mean sleep. not like the drifty shut eye gouchy thing with gear.

I've had gear like that and like Ructions said my piss test came up positive for benzos even though at that time I had never had a benzo in my life.
Would be nice to know what benzo is being mixed with the gear.

 

[Pagey]

Am still off the gear,was a year on August 31st.
Still taking methadone daily though but am slowly reducing it that, no rush.
Just wanted to say how good it is to see Ructions here again. Hope all is going well with you and one day that magical gear must find you as it's been a long wait.
Good to see you posting though Ructions.

Bit late but a massive congrats on being a year clean maxalfie. Very inspiring, keep it up

Little slip turning out not to be such a little slip here, it just gets harder and harder each time to find the motivation I started out with...what's the point?

Thinking of getting on subs once I get back to London. I don't really know. If anybody has any advice and stuff regarding maintenance...?

 

[maxalfie]

Thanks Pagey mate.
I just wish I could have done it without being on methadone.I regret not giving subs a try when I first went for help and I just asked to go on methadone.
Now it's gonna be a fight to get off the meth,just gonna take it slowly and not rush things.
Good luck with yr battle Pagey,it took me years to get to this stage so don't beat yourself up for any slip ups you have.

 

[kkattastic]

Good Luck Cornish.

That video is grim, paracetamol only aint sounding good to me.
I wonder if more places used Iboga if the rates of people staying off would go up?

Was trying to explain the good that Ibogaine can do used as a treatment to deal with both physical and mental problems of addiction to opiates but she won't have it for a number of reasons-the biggest being that she reads/has read for many years,the daily mail and as with most mail readers,the word of the mail is law.
I would really appreciate,if anyone knows of one,a link to an article that won't be too radical for her poor melted mind but that will give some real evidence for the success rates of Ibogaine when used in an appropriate setting and as part of an appropriate treatment plan.There must be something out there that can reach her-she wasn't always been like this but at 66 she is actually starting to go proper nuts(my dad said this morning that she is actually really losing the plot).It's sad cos she does have a good heart and is well meaning but she has been completely brain washed-all this is not helped by the fact that she has been on HRT for at least 20yrs.
just a link to a gentle article that will support real evidence that success rates are higher and more importantly(IMO),the success rate of remaining clean after so many years.
Scored today and gear is same weight and price but quality is poor.I hear tell of another drought.The last one never finished,did it?I am thinking that it never actually will.'Our' gear is being moved to somewhere easier to get to and that will pay for it.As has happened in the US and Australia,many have moved to big pharma.That is my plan.I rely on it anyway with my mst and fentanyl script,but I have 2 plans.The first is,like everyone,to find a decent overseas pharmacist.The second and better plan is this.I once had a surgical nurse,but any bent surgical nurse or cleaner with access will do.any phial that has been opened has to be binned,so they can be retrieved if the right person has the right opportunity-it has been accounted for so there is no record of any theft-of course,if you trust your supplier,you can get a good deal going and you know what you are getting.from diamorphine and pethidine,to midazolam and all IV friendly drugs.Then of course we would require vetinary personnel with access to such dead phials for ketamine and pentobarbital(nembutal).These are my secret plans that I probably shouldn't be sharing with you but i suggest you neck a few pills,now you are clean they will affect you once again.get to a party-best at our age are outdoors with plenty of weekend warriors.Young people art raves are a waste of time-they need to be at least in late 20s/early 30s and will be more approachable if you have good drugs with you(speed,Es,maybe even some of these new pharmas).
That's it-no more secrets-you can work out how the rest goes by yourself.
finally(I bet I've bored the pants off you by now-Cherry!!!!!where are you and HOW are you doing???how is that arm coming along?pls do keep me in the loop.As I say,I know a number of amputees,nearly been there myself and have a mate having his foot removed this week(may even lose leg up to knee).He's saying 'at least it won't hurt anymore.But it will-nearly all amputees are on major painkillers-which sounds nice but not so nice when you need them.Phantom pains or real pains-still,just the thought of living with one arm is a hard thing to get past-I lay awake many nights crying at that thought.I was saved but mine did look a bit worse than yours but I was in hospital having it treated a few times a day to stop dead cells spreading and on IV antibiotic drips-I am concerned that they are not doing this for you right away.pls keep me notified-I do worry,you know.(loves)

 

[pinkpapaver]

maxie just reduce slowly . it even try 1 day with a really reduced amount, say 1/2 of your daily. then the day after bring it up to 2/3 of your daily and see how you feel.

 

[opiaterock]

How long Can I make 4mg of subs last out?... I am on my third day of wds today (nothing since Sunday) but I feel like shit so am getting a small bag but 4mg (2 * 2mg) of subs aswell I wana make that spread out till the weekend... whats the best way to do it? (I dont have a bad habit, maybe 5 bags/ 1g per week)

Thanks

 

[backroll]

with any maintenance start as low as possible, this works better with subs than with methadone.
realistically 0.5 should do you for 24 hours and wait as long as possible!

 

[opiaterock]

with any maintenance start as low as possible, this works better with subs than with methadone.
realistically 0.5 should do you for 24 hours and wait as long as possible!

Really? That's great Backroll, I was gonna take 2mg tomorrow then 1mg friday then half saturday and half sunday..but I coiuld take 0.5mg 2moro ya?.... I dont want it for maintenance I just want to take the edge off the gear wds (which is dumb of me because if i stuck it out for 2 more days I wud probably feel ok but I am havin a smoke today fuck it)..

Thanks for getting back so quick mate cheers

 

[maxalfie]

maxie just reduce slowly . it even try 1 day with a really reduced amount, say 1/2 of your daily. then the day after bring it up to 2/3 of your daily and see how you feel.

Thanks PinkP,will give that a try.
Been on the methadone for about 8 years or so I think so it's gonna take some time to get off it totally but that is my next goal.

 

[pinkpapaver]

I've never let myself get on the methadone properly. prefer to give it away than drink it. when i start taking that stuff daily I'll have a moneth plan with days off and reduction.

 

[Pagey]

One fucking bag threw me back into proper WDs. I hate this. I hate this so much.

Pointless post but I need to complain abotu it somewhere.

 

[curious_24]

That fucking sucks Pagey. Sorry hear you're going through such a shitty at time the moment.

 

[kkattastic]

I know people who have worked their way down to 1-2ml of methadone-so small has to be taken in a syringe,but when you stop it completely,you still feel it.
I swapped to fentanyl but I still felt the meth leaving me for weeks
it's a nasty drug and I wouldn't go back to it although at the end,I found I could get quite a nice buzz off it,if used right

sorry pagey but i would never mix subbies with gear or any other opiate
ir has put me off subbies for life
cos it just makes the rattle worse each time
really you gotta choose,one or the other

 

[Pagey]

That fucking sucks Pagey. Sorry hear you're going through such a shitty at time the moment.

Ah thanks curious, that's nice of you. It wouldn't even be that shitty at all if I could be smarter about it but I just don't know how to handle anything. And it's just so frustrating to think that I gave up so much clean time to escape from reality for a few hours with one little bag just to end up paying for it for days afterwards hah.
Dunno I just feel like a massive mess and if I can't be clean now I've seen the reality of what heroin is then when can I be?
Bleh I have to stop whining. Thank you

I know people who have worked their way down to 1-2ml of methadone-so small has to be taken in a syringe,but when you stop it completely,you still feel it.
I swapped to fentanyl but I still felt the meth leaving me for weeks
it's a nasty drug and I wouldn't go back to it although at the end,I found I could get quite a nice buzz off it,if used right

sorry pagey but i would never mix subbies with gear or any other opiate
ir has put me off subbies for life
cos it just makes the rattle worse each time
really you gotta choose,one or the other

Oh I don't want to mix them...I want to get off opiates completely, I'm just not managing. So I'm wondering if it would be good to get on subs to kinda force me to stay away from opiates and help me quit for good since apparently I can't do that on my own

 

[kkattastic]

Ah thanks curious, that's nice of you. It wouldn't even be that shitty at all if I could be smarter about it but I just don't know how to handle anything. And it's just so frustrating to think that I gave up so much clean time to escape from reality for a few hours with one little bag just to end up paying for it for days afterwards hah.
Dunno I just feel like a massive mess and if I can't be clean now I've seen the reality of what heroin is then when can I be?
Bleh I have to stop whining. Thank you



Oh I don't want to mix them...I want to get off opiates completely, I'm just not managing. So I'm wondering if it would be good to get on subs to kinda force me to stay away from opiates and help me quit for good since apparently I can't do that on my own

the once i got clean,i reduced slowly on subs then just spent a long weekend on ket and then just didn't use for a few months-but i don't think i gave my mind time to get used to not using
you seem to have it right in your head so the physical bit is actually only a small step

 

[Tryptamite]

I used Monday, Tuesday, slight WDs, stuck it out till Saturday, Used SAt to Monday, no gear since, feeling ok. Have Valium 10mg left, lost 5 1mg Xanax, have more than enough phenibut. Stupid of me. I just hope I have enough medicine to keep me able to work till I start feeling right. I reckon I'll be ok Friday night.

 

[Bodda]

Was trying to explain the good that Ibogaine can do used as a treatment to deal with both physical and mental problems of addiction to opiates but she won't have it for a number of reasons-the biggest being that she reads/has read for many years,the daily mail and as with most mail readers,the word of the mail is law.
I would really appreciate,if anyone knows of one,a link to an article that won't be too radical for her poor melted mind but that will give some real evidence for the success rates of Ibogaine when used in an appropriate setting and as part of an appropriate treatment plan.There must be something out there that can reach her-she wasn't always been like this but at 66 she is actually starting to go proper nuts)

I have just logged on since I was on a proper session yesterday with this fine gear I am getting atm but I will have a good luck for you.

Maxalfie - I mean it mate, well done I am so proud of you mate as I know how hard it is to stay away after years of being on it. As some people know I've been on & off for nearly 11 years now & the longest I have been off with 3 months, I would say out of the 11 years I have had a total of about 8 months gear free.
Sadly it has all come to a head last night, I have been seeing my ex before I got with Mrs Norway & she is totally anti drugs but is ok with me smoking weed but it was the gear that broke our relationship up beofre. I will call her "Bear" in this thread & Jamie Mrs Norway just to keep it easy.
Me & BEar had a great relationship & i loved her as she is a very open & supportive person & she really helped me get over alot of issues as I had not had alot of sex before I got with her, not only did she not judge me she listened to me when I was having a dark time etc, we were both thee to help each other when we had issues & we were going to move in with each other at one point.
Since I split with Mrs Norway I have been using daily & my habit is quite huge atm sadly atm on average I am using atleast a half gram, like yesterday I had a half gram & a 10 bag too. I scored this morning & got a half gram again, this gear I am getting atm is very nice, a few days ago I got caught short & could not score till 10pm, usually when I begin to rattle the vomit stage doesn't start till a good 36 hours into it, trying to kick the gear i've been using for the last few months I was having violent, porjectile vomit less that 12 hours into my rattle.

Long & short is bear found out I was uisng again last night & we had a huge row & she told me I have to STOP right away, she told me she is not going to wait for me to get a script & I have to stop like today or she is walking away from me.. She is willing to take some time off work & be with me in the lfat & "nurse" me through my withdrawl, she said if we want a future & if I really love her I will do it & tbh I know it's a big thing to ask but I am 98% sure I am going to do it. I got some gear left from this morning but as of tonight I am going to try to begin wmy withdrawl. I have 3grams of weed, 800mg of seroquel but that is it. I would have to wait at least a week to get a meth script & bear said I have to do it right away or she will walk away from me. I am not 100% over Mrs Norway if I am honest folks as that girl broke my heart & soul, she really pushed me to the edge where I was thinking of killing myself & I am not joking, I came very close too but that is not something to talk about on here so I won't but some of you will know from reading my farmaz account I trult loved that girl.

So yeah poor Bodda as on tonight is going to kick this gear, I've been using daily since mid April, the gear is of fine quality & the bags were huge, tbh folks I have never been that worried about doing a withdrawl but I know this one is going to be grim & very painfull, I know it is for the best though as I do love Bear & I think she loves me too as she is willing to come sit with me while I go through it but I am sure she aint aware of what the hell is about to happen sadly.

Of course if I am not on EADD for a while you lot will now, I know aot of you wont give a fuck & possibly even be laughing at me thinking "fucking Farmaz the prick, this will show him" or some other twisted shit as I know EADD is split between people that like me & actually understand where I am coming from & can tell when I am joking & being serious & some of you hate me but I will be back soon folks

Bodda aint dealt with that easy

Peace

 

[Pagey]

Aah good luck Bodda, that's gonna be tough but I'm sure you can do it if you're really motivated. Hope it goes okay

the once i got clean,i reduced slowly on subs then just spent a long weekend on ket and then just didn't use for a few months-but i don't think i gave my mind time to get used to not using
you seem to have it right in your head so the physical bit is actually only a small step

Nah it's the opposite, I got the hardest of the physical bit over a while ago, I just can't keep my head in it. The motivation is just disappearing little by little and I've been using some kind of opiate every day this week for the first time since I quit for good 3 months ago so I'm rally afraid of falling back into proper daily use unless I do something about it asap...

 

[Bodda]

Thanks Pagey, I was talking to another EADD poster a few days about kicking& I was planning on getting a script but you have to give a urine sample & then wait at least a week before you can seea doctor which the new missus isn't willing to do.
I knew I had to quit myself but I never expected it to come this quick, normally I wouldn't be this worried but the gear i've been doing since I found these Afghan boys coming outta the city is of great quality, as I said about the vomit issue, I know everyone works different with their withdrawl but for me to be actually vomit that early into a rattle is rare & just shows how strong the gear I have been suing is, I will be honest I am really worried as I know this is going to be a bad withdrawl but "Bear" is willing to come & be with me for a while as she can see something in me that must be worth taking the time & effort.

I was asking around last night trying to get some meth but the prices they were asking were dumb & I refuse to pay it & the strange thing is a few times I have kicked before I find Subutex really doesn't work well for me. The times I have usd it I had to go back to my worker & ask to be changed to meth, they really dont agree with me for some reason.
This time I am thinking of going onto Naltrexone if I cna find a way, this time I am done with gear, I wont like I love the stuff, even if I had a room full it wouldn't be enough for me. It is one of those things I have a real issue with as I like it so much I use it like a pig, I spend nearly every penny I have on it & have for years. I will be honest I regret the day I ever had my 1st toot, my veins are fucked still & when I go I.V. it's a nightmare to hit one.
It is not far to say heroin has nearly wrecked my life & also several time snearly cost me my life (the worst was having a crank & I passd out, the guy left me slumped in a stairwell in a council block with my jeans around my knees, I came round to a few people thinking I was dead & my pockets had been turned out, that is just 1 example I could give you. Thats what makes me laugh as alot on EADD think I am joking etc but I am 32 & have a very close friend that posts on here too & if I was chatting bash I would get picked up for it as the other poster on here was my best mate since 11 years old.

Thanks for the kind words Pagey, at least I know one EADD poster don't think I am a total cunt

Peace Pagey, when you hit back London sides I read you saying you were using again but your only young & from what I have read anit been into the gear that long. Take my advice for all it's worth, keep the fuck away from it. That stuff only leads to 1 thing & believe me I have always heard people say I can control it but it gets everyone in the end, be it 1 year or be it 21 years at some point the gear will get you & I don't wish that on my worst enemy.

Peace