EADD Heroin Discussion V18 - Wax on-Wax off-Beetle-down-Beetle up (Hiyer zaramorph)

[Mental Kenny]

^Good luck man, sounds like a bad place to be. I think it would be bad to have the lass witness you on the rattle, I probably wouldn't want to see anybody in that state.

 

[Bodda]

^Good luck man, sounds like a bad place to be. I think it would be bad to have the lass witness you on the rattle, I probably wouldn't want to see anybody in that state.

Thanks MK, remember when you were kicking the Kratom & I sent those pics via FB, I have been using solid daily & sometimes several times a day sinc ethen. Well it began just before me & jamie had out 2 year relationship, the break up didn't help much & I went off the rails & been suing daily for months on end. Thje last 3ish months I have been doing gear of top quality. Everyone that has used opiates knows their own unique way of a rattle. I mean I know people that just don't vomit at all but as I said for me to be actually projectile puking that soon into a withdrawl isn't a good sign at all. I wont be on EADD for a while untill I am 100% fixed up.

I agree with you MK about not wanting someone to see you in that state but she loves me & my mom doesn't know I am back & deep into the Heroin again & "Bear" is willing to come help me & sit with me as she loves me & wants us to pick up where we left off. It was Heroin that broke us up in the 1st place all that time ago & I love her. I am not just kicking for her, I want to kick for myself as I am sick of it now, as I said this year I have seen so many people get ill or die it has been a real shock to me & I am getting old, it's about time I got my act together big time.

Thanks for the kind words MK, glad to hear you were 100% off the Kratom too
That WD didn't sound to nice if I am honest, the worst part I am not looking forward to is the depression after you kicked heroin, everything feels flat & I get so low in my mood but I know it will pass after a few weeks. I am just thinking what I have to gain from doing this.

 

[maxalfie]

I hope all goes well over next few days for you Bodda mate.
You know that if you have the willpower to get through the next few days then you can get through the worst of it. You know you will probably be tempted to use while you are feeling sick but stick with it mate so you don't get back to square one.
Mrs 'Bear' sounds nice and it's good of her to take the time out to help you through the worst part.
If you can get this kicked then you never know what great future may be ahead of you.
Having Mrs Bear around could be just what you need to stop you wanting to use again. It's amazing what the love of a good woman can do sometimes mate.
Will be thinking of you and hoping things aren't too rough for you.
All the best mate, you are a good bloke and you deserve good things.

 

[curious_24]

Hope it all goes well for you Farmaz. I'm terrified of withdrawing from my shitty 1.5 gram per day codeine addiction, so I can't even imagine how shit it must be for you.

 

[Tryptamite]

I'm very glad I didn't get another gram in dublin yesterday. In fairness I would have if a g of coke came through. That's the thing about speedballs, its such an expensive habit and you have to travel all over to get the white and the brown sorted. Not like you can ask for a one and one or a 10 bag and a rock of crack like in some places.

But the rush is soo fucking good. Cream your pants, better than any sex I've ever had. I'm dealing with my minor WDs well. Work is tough. GABA b agonists are good for WD. GHB, gbl is the best obviously but phenibut is ok. Wonder what baclofen would be like?

Can't believe I lost 5 Xanax 1mg. I only ave two Diaz 5s left for tomorrow. I had 100mg tramadol last two days (50mg x 2). Worked well as a kind of taper.

I'm not finished with this shit. I'm not lying to myself any more. I'm not doing it to keep my folks happy. I just hope I can control it. I don't want a habit. It's counter productive for me.
I need to save. The world is calling, I need to travel see places, finish college. Speedballs area reward for hard work done well, not a way of life.

I don't have it in me to steal or scam. I could sell drugs but I'm bad at that. I'm a bad drug addict to be honest. I still owe for two gs of coke for that binge.

Got an eight of MDMA. Better for the soul than heroin.

 

[Tryptamite]

Ps good luck pagey and bodda/farmaz, this shit isn't easy.

 

[Bodda]

Thanks guys, sadly I changed my mind when I woke up this morning. I am really worried as I have been using for so long & the gear is really strong.
CLaire (Mrs Bear) wont understand at all but it was going to be too fucking grim & I changed my mind this morning & went to score again. I feel like a fucking mug tbh & I know what I have done is wrong but I got scared, really scared.

I wonder sometimes if I ever will quit

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

Oh what I would give to be off the green handcuffs. They've fucked up work, places where i've had to think about taking jobs, as they'res been no chemist nearby, and I had a shit worker who made it hard enough when I took a job just a 2 min walk away from my chemist, so I doubt she'd take me off daily pick up.

I've gone up to 60ml, and only manged to come down a year ago to 35 using A LOT and I mean A LOT a day of MSJs. If I'd not been put on Methadone, I think i'd have stopped using, as I can't be arsed with all this, swapping and not taking subutex if I want to use, and deciding when I'm going to use, so don't take it this day,or that day etc. Plus, when I was with one drug clinic they were proper vigilant on watching you take your sub, so there was no chance of palming it, or 'accidentally' dropping it on the floor.

Meth sweats man, I literally drip with beads of sweat, I get so embarrassed. Went for my weekly friday evening carvery last week with my boyfriend and his mates he works with, some of them live with us in the hostel, they understand why i'm doing it, but the rest of the pub probs thought what the fuck! My hair was sticking to my neck it was that wet. Drives me mad, side effect apparently.

In other bad news, I've got another abscess forming, right int he hinge of my arm, ow!! I don't even shoot up there as they've all collapsed, but i've been nearby. My immune system is fucked.

I also just got a letter saying they now want to investigate the lump they found on my thymus when I had an MRI scan when I had heart incident after taking a snowball last year.

'The thymus is a specialized organ of the immune system, The thymus "educates" T-lymphocytes (T cells), which are critical cells of the adaptive immune system.' (Wiki)

Fucked immune system I already knew I had, but there's a reason maybe....i'm just so fucking lucky. Runt of the litter i'd be if I was one of a batch if kittens.

Some nice gear about at the moment, been holding me until well late into the next afternoon. Then i'll take my meth, and be fine until evening when the boy comes home.

 

[kkattastic]

Thanks guys, sadly I changed my mind when I woke up this morning. I am really worried as I have been using for so long & the gear is really strong.
CLaire (Mrs Bear) wont understand at all but it was going to be too fucking grim & I changed my mind this morning & went to score again. I feel like a fucking mug tbh & I know what I have done is wrong but I got scared, really scared.

I wonder sometimes if I ever will quit

I thought exactly the same thing-could/would I ever quit??
Deep down I knew for years that I would have to get locked up-that is the only way U would be able to do it.
I had been in a few residential detox and each one was the same-soon as I started feeling shitty I got proper scared and ran away
same when well meaning friends-who believed it was just like a bad case of the flu,had me to stay for a week or 2-as soon as that sickness started edging it's way in,I would pack my bags and be gone by dawn.
I even made my way right back from a remote village in Wiltshire and from a village in Pembrokeshire near Fishguard-costing me heaps to escape and had scored before reaching home so even if I puked on the doorstep,I knew I was 'safe' back home.It had me beat even with relationships-gear always came first.
Then the inevitable came along and I did get sentenced(for those that don't remember,I got away with just 2 and a half years of what should have been a 5 year sentence).This was the only way to get clean.A drought on the out meant you could only get subbies inside which I loathed.Every night I would dream about scoring and smoking and every morning I would wake up to see a barred window and a locked steel door.Reality became comforting towards the end and I know that the only way I will ever stay 100% clean is to be inside for life.I have even had fantasies of crimes that will get me life.Not with intent of getting a life sentence-but doing certain crimes that I would love to do(the big one is a homicide of a certain person(s)-a certain job holder that we probably all hate here. And the bonus would be the life sentence.If only we could have internet access inside,I would be happy enough in there now-nobody that I would miss massively,apart from maybe my dad.

 

[pinkpapaver]

have you heard from brimz at all cherry?

 

[Acid4Blood]

Look after that abscess CCF.

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

have you heard from brimz at all cherry?

He was on facebook chat last night, and 'liked' a post I'd put up slagging off Chezza Cole paying 14,000 for an awful tattoo. So he's around and about.

Look after that abscess CCF.

Will do! I'm still taking strong anti-bios for the one I had operated on, which is healing nicely, hopefully they'll be doing something to the new one that's forming. Then i'll go back and get some more flucloxacillin which is what they give you when abscesses are just forming. Hopefully I can avoid having to go back under the knife so close to the last op.

 

[Bodda]

I know what you mean kkattastic, the best i've come to stopping was that dry spell a few years back when there was nothing to be had in the whole of the UK but I still had a dabble with that stuff with the TCP taste.

I think some people are just addicted for life, I said before about my mother & I really think I have it in my DNA, I really do want to give it up but I get worried how I will cope being a "normal person"
I so wish if I could live my life back again I had never started, I got over my ex & kinda got a new woman that I think the world of & she is willing to help me but I still went & scored today.

Sometimes I wish........I just went to bed & never woke up & I could be free from this damn stuff. Out of everything i've done in normal street stuff & the more bizarre RC's the gear is the worst for me to quit.

 

[kkattastic]

just wrote a long,elaborate post about my historical love affair with the fateful brown
but I know you guys don't want to hear my daily rants
the big question of the day for V18 is; if you could step back in time and stop yourself from ever trying/getting into the gear,would you?
It has taken absolutely everything from me-I am 41 and have absolutely nothing-no house/car/not even a decent computer
the only thing i have left in my life that i can do is to try to prevent my kids from going down the same route
my daughter has told me that they hated when i was fucked on gear so I think maybe it has worked-can only hope

I believe that if I could find someone who I could trust and would trust me,I could get clean and stay clean.I do really want to do it and I think that might make all the difference.Never really wanted that before.But hearing some of yous talk about your partners here has made me think that it could work.
I had resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my days.Maybe I do stand a chance.Going to the gym this week.need to get moving as there are only certain exercises I can do as I suffer from chronic arthritis in my lower body.
would like to think that there is someone out there for me,as i think there is for everyone

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

Another fucking abscess, other arm. Angry, red, painful. Hospital tomorrow, as it should have been responding to the Co-amoxiclav i've been taking for the other one, that's now healing nicely. Same week I find out i've got to go have the lump they found growing on my thymus investigated, the thymus controls immune system. Mine is clearly fucked.

 

[ructions]

A good old mate of mine died last Thursday. His funeral is tomorrow morning. It's so sad to think I won't see his big smiley face again.

I hadn't seen all that much of him over the last 3 years, he hadn't been well. He was a heroin user for 30 years, so his health was bad.

I got such I shock the last time I met him in town. He was in a wheelchair, he had BOTH his legs amputated. Heroin had destroyed him.

Tomorrow will be a sad day. I hope he is at peace now. XXX

I scored on Friday for the first time in about three weeks. It was the same gear as I got the last time. Its strong, I could hardly hold my head up after I smoking two trays. But there is no taste of heroin off it & no heroin buzz. The last time I had this type of gear my drug test came back positive for benzos, I reckon the same thing will happen again this time.

The dealer said its impossible to make benzos smokeable. But all I know is that the last time my boyfriend and I smoked this gear BOTH of our tests came back positive for benzos, yet we hadn't taken any benzos. All we'd used was gear.

This all very odd. What a poxey week......

 

[Pagey]

Aw ructions I'm so sorry

 

[wcote]

Aye sorry to hear that ructions.

Both legs amputated and now dead, very sad. Is a warning to everyone who uses, your mate wouldn't never a thought that would happen to them, but it sadly did.

Stay safe folks


Also I know the type of 'gear' your on about, been over a year since I last had it. It just dulls the fuck out you. I'm sure its does the job after doing crack, but if your just doing the gear its awful no rush at all just a deadening. Can't believe Dublin is still bad.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

Hi guys! I haven't been on here in a while. Just an update. Remember the last time I posted I was saying I tried the supposed strong gear going around Dublin? Loads of my mates were raving about the great gear they were getting (in Dublin) So, I tried some and it did knock me out, BUT there was hardly any taste of heroin off it. It was a strong drug, but it wasn't strong heroin.

Well, it turned out that I was right, it wasn't heroin!

I had a disagreement with the guy who was selling it. He is in his 50's and he has been using heroin since he was 18, so he should know better. But no, he reckons it is stronger then pre-drought gear. I kept telling him that it didn't taste like gear and that it had a different stone to gear. But he just said that I'm never happy...... He can't understand that just coz something makes you stoned doesn't mean that it is heroin!

Anyway, I had my drugs test last week and my test came back negative for heroin and positive for BENZOS!!! Now there probably was some heroin in it, but it had left my system, but as we all know benzos stay in the system much longer! I don't know how they are managing to make benzos smokeable on tinfoil? BUT my boyfriend and I both used that gear and BOTH our tests were positive for benzos. (Just to clarify, we hadn't taken any benzo tablets or any anything except that gear and our methadone.)

The annoying part is that benzos are much cheaper then heroin, yet they are charging extra for benzo laced gear! Its a joke! I haven't used in two weeks, so I don't know whats around at the moment? The gear is getting better, but its not back to normal yet.

fentanyl? Sounds like fent has been turned brown, :1. opiate = similar feeling 2, taste similar to described 3, Much the same effects, monged out for a while unable to do simple tasks 4, lack of euphoria

 

[ructions]

Aye sorry to hear that ructions.

Both legs amputated and now dead, very sad. Is a warning to everyone who uses, your mate wouldn't never a thought that would happen to them, but it sadly did.

Stay safe folks

Also I know the type of 'gear' your on about, been over a year since I last had it. It just dulls the fuck out you. I'm sure its does the job after doing crack, but if your just doing the gear its awful no rush at all just a deadening. Can't believe Dublin is still bad.

Thanks Wcote, thanks Pagey!

Yeah Wcote, the gear you describe is the gear going around Dublin. I know 4 different dealers selling this very same gear. I scored off a different person today and its the same gear again. Most people think its top notch gear coz it makes you so sleepy. My mates are raving about this gear, they reckon its pre-drought quality.

It is a strong drug, but its not strong heroin. My drug test and my boyfriends drug test both came back positive for benzos after we used this gear. My mates say that their tests were positive for benzos too, but they STILL reckon its great gear??? I just can't figure people out.

I wouldn't mind so much if the dealers were selling this stuff at a much cheaper price, coz benzos are way cheaper then heroin! But they are charging extra for it. People are are queuing up to buy it, the word on the street in Dublin is that the drought is over. People are just ignoring the fact that their drug tests are coming back positive for benzos.

All the dealers keep saying the same thing. They keep saying that benzos are not smokeable! Well, in that case I wish they could explain to me how my drug test and my boyfriends drug test both came back positive for benzos after we used the gear we bought off them??? We don't take benzos. All we take is gear and methadone, its soooo frustrating. Dealers and some of my mates are always calling me fussy, they say I'm always moaning about the quality of the gear. They want me to shut up and hand over the cash. I reckon the dealers think I am lying about the benzos showing up in my drug tests, but I'm not lying. I'll do the test in front of the feckers if they want!

Hi Matt! I don't know much about fentanyl? Could fentanyl show up in a drugs test as benzos? I've smoked two trays in the last hour and a half and I'm feeling very sleepy. It has taken me ages to write this post. If I closed my eyes I'd imagine I'd sleep till the morning. Its a different sleepy to heroin sleepy. Heroin gives me that euphoric feeling, it makes me nod in and out, but it doesn't knock me out. This gear that I have now just knock me out, I don't get a high from it. Its weird stuff......