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Am I fucked forever?

'medicine cabinet' said:
that was my first thought, maybe it was some weird rc that you had a bad reaction to. wish you all the best in your recovery.
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I think I am in the same boat as well but I used too many on my last binge or maybe a combo of both?? Either way I don't have any other symptoms but unsteadiness/falling off feeling so I am just gonna have to bear it and keep goin until it disappears
 
Okay guys, I am going to try and go about 2 more months for a natural recovery. Let's make it an experiment... can a person naturally recover from a damaged serotonin system? I guess we will see :)

As soon as I get home for my 4 month long summer, I'm going to start exercising and eating healthy. If 2 month go by and I see no improvement, it's time to see a doctor.

Dawglaw: I know there might not be a magic pill to fix me... but what I am wondering is whether or not someone NEEDS some sort of medication to recover from this. According to your case, I guess not! But I'm still worried about my own case... it feels like I'm so far away from recovery.


Also: Thank you to everyone posting in this thread, it really is comforting to see that people have went through the same thing and recovered months/years later.
 
Guys what you name "long term comedown" I name it "Depersonalization/Derealization".

I got it at first somewhere in 2007 year, due to a wrecked mix beetween marijuana bad trip and salvia. Took me 4 or 5 month to recover. Since Im an idiot I continued to get high, tested more salvia in 2009 and ended with another 4 month DP/DR. In 2010 I got 2 or 3 month DP/DR from marijuana binge.

Then now, I took too much 3MMC and Methoxetamine in 2 month, and gone freak for 1 week and Im actually in 3rd week of DP/DR from a 3MMC binge wich ended wrongly.
Symptom are fare less severe than the first week and seem to improve, my mental ability/wit/clarity/reactivity is back to 100% (or at least cant tell the difference), there is just lingering perceptual/emotionnal problem wich I really hope will pass in the next 3 month course. Im still a bit scared even if used to the shit.
Methoxetamine don't seem to affect the state (I binged epic dose for 3 consecutive days with no effect on the problem).

These episode are IMO not really brain damage (at least not categorical, big brain damage like XTC litterature suggest), it's probably just a thing that some individual can experience without having that much damaged their brain, from all kind of substance. The website dpselfhelp is full of story like that, you will be amazed by the fact that even caffeine was at the origine of DP/DR in some individuals.
If you took 1 time XTC then got DP/DR, chance is you are far far far less damaged neurologically speaking than a 5 year weekly abuser. It's probably just a mini trick on your brain, perhaps even not a damage.
Just a neuronal pathway playing trick with you and don't wanting to shutdown, perhaps :p .


Brain Fog, short-term memory loss, trouble focusing, NO motivation... and other weird stuffs. I can't quite explain it perfectly, but i've felt very off for the past 4 months, like I've been in a dream.
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classic DP/DR symptom


Erectile dynsfunction, especially if it present in the form of sexual anhedonia or stuff like that should be looked at with attention, thought... DP/DR don't include this symptom. I agree here it sound more like an insult to the serotonergic system.

Sry for my english Im french
 
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Regarding altered/damaged/upregulated/downregulated serotonin receptors - This is a topic which I have been thinking about a lot lately.

All this time I've been saying how - in my case - a dopamine & norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, combined with a gamma-aminobutyric acid agonist, has appeared to induce recovery.

What if that's not the entire story? What if the other medications I was on beforehand played a part? I remain divided - part of me thinks no. The other part says yes. Yes to the Zoloft, or the Prozac, or perhaps the Paxil. After all, it is mainly serotonin with which MDMA interacts with. And if I recall correctly, SSRIs do impart long term changes in a patient using this class of drug. This is why there are reports of irreversible erectile dysfunction in males who were on SSRI therapy, no?
 
How could a trick on my brain make my memory worse? Or make my motivation lower than it's ever been in my life? If it was just a "trick" on my brain then doesn't that mean that I am making up the symptoms in my head? Doesn't that mean I can just snap out of it if I wasn't being so scared about my symptoms?

I see what you are trying to say no_id, but I think something HAS happened to my serotonin system. That was my first time on MDMA, then all these symptoms show up a few weeks later? It can't be a coincidence. Hell I wasn't even thinking about the Molly when the symptoms came to me. This state that I'm in now, if you think it is "DP/DR", is damaging to my life anyways...

Anyways, thanks for the post. I know you are just trying to help.
 
ro4eva:

I was actually on Sertraline (Zoloft) for about a month last year but I quit because it just gave me brain fog and made me feel apathetic. Maybe that could have played a part in my reaction to the MDMA? Wow this is scary shit.

I just want to focus on recovering now. What is norepinephrine and gamma-aminobutyric acid agonist?
 
How could a trick on my brain make my memory worse? Or make my motivation lower than it's ever been in my life? If it was just a "trick" on my brain then doesn't that mean that I am making up the symptoms in my head? Doesn't that mean I can just snap out of it if I wasn't being so scared about my symptoms?

I see what you are trying to say no_id, but I think something HAS happened to my serotonin system. That was my first time on MDMA, then all these symptoms show up a few weeks later? It can't be a coincidence. Hell I wasn't even thinking about the Molly when the symptoms came to me. This state that I'm in now, if you think it is "DP/DR", is damaging to my life anyways...

Anyways, thanks for the post. I know you are just trying to help.
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Lol you are concentrating on a really short part of my message ! A trick don't mean it's psychological things, imo it's more a neurological one. Many of your symptom, including memory one, can be attributed directly to depersonalization. If I was you I would fear more about the erectile stuff, wich is imo more a sign of "damage".

I hope for all of us it will improve.

My number 1 worry is that in this state Ive difficulty to appreciate music, and in 2 month I need to be ok to play at a party and I want to enjoy my live. FUCK9)à&ç_)'ç that scare the shit outa me.

I was actually on Sertraline (Zoloft) for about a month last year but I quit because it just gave me brain fog and made me feel apathetic.
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When I was on antidepressant and reported this very symptom (aphaty), they gave me low dose of solian wich improved the problem.
 
WhatIsWrongWithMe said:
How could a trick on my brain make my memory worse? Or make my motivation lower than it's ever been in my life? If it was just a "trick" on my brain then doesn't that mean that I am making up the symptoms in my head? Doesn't that mean I can just snap out of it if I wasn't being so scared about my symptoms?

I see what you are trying to say no_id, but I think something HAS happened to my serotonin system. That was my first time on MDMA, then all these symptoms show up a few weeks later? It can't be a coincidence. Hell I wasn't even thinking about the Molly when the symptoms came to me. This state that I'm in now, if you think it is "DP/DR", is damaging to my life anyways...

Anyways, thanks for the post. I know you are just trying to help.
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I had very similar symptoms as you. I was NOT a heavy user of mdma. Only a few times over a 8 year period.

DP/DR is linked to anxiety and stress. It is one of MANY physical symptoms that are related to anxiety and stress. I thought I had to have caused some physical damage to my brain or neurotransmitters, I refused to believe that my problems were somatic. My vision was fucked up, I could not concentrate, I had zero motivation, etc. etc.

Turns out it was all anxiety and stress.

DP/DR is the shittiest feeling I have ever felt. It is very real and it sucks.
 
I agree with most others when I say it sounds like you didn't take what you thought you were taking. When I used to do pills I would get sooooo depressed and once I even thought I wanted to kill myself cause I was too high and had a major meltdown. It sounds like you have depression which may or may be drug related. Maybe you just think its related because that's the only way you can connect the dots. My opinion is that you have depression and not related to your one time drug use. You should def talk to a dr and tell them what your experiencing right now both physical and emotional. They may ask if you'd used drugs in the past and just be honest. They won't flip out or call your mom ya know. Just try and relax and don't worry yourself so sick. I know you'll be ok but I really would seek medical help. Perhaps Zoloft or lexapro may be what you need to increase your serotonin levels in your brain. LUV
 
I still feel like this everyday man. Honestly the only thing that helps right away is pot and opiates. Obviously this is not a permanent fix but it does take the edge off for me. Although i get the feeling smoking pot would probably just make it worse for you. I do think that a light opiate such as vicodin or percocet like someone else said would alleviate some of your symptoms. Or even an anti anxiety med maybe. But then you have to worry about not getting addicted to those meds cause it happpens fast and it sneaks up on you and before you know it all the sudden your addicted.

So you want to fix this naturally? Well, only time will heal this. You can speed up the process by living healthy though. Eat good and eat healthy things like fruit and veggies. Take vitamins and maybe some supplements too. I have been drinking green drinks and i feel the difference wich is crazy cause those types of health things dont seem to work on me usually. The Green Drink is just a bunch of fruits and veggies and that green shit(i think its spurlina?). Oh and like many others have said already is exercise is REALLY good too man.

Oh and i just have to say this. I really think what you took wasnt MDMA bro. Maybe you just had a bad reaction to MDMA but i highly doubt it. There are a lot of different substances that are kind of like MDMA but much weaker and sometimes have bad symptoms like this. Im sure a lot of people on here will agree with me that its very possible that you took something that was NOT real MDMA. Or it may have been cut with some nasty shit and you had a bad reaction to whatever was used to cut it. If it wasnt tested with a MDMA testing kit then there a VERY good possibility that what you took wasnt MDMA bro. The MDMA high is not a shitty one my friend. It is a truley amazing feeling bro. Its something everyone should try before they die.

Good Luck bro. Just hang in there, you will get better. Just like everyone else has said man. PLUR.
 
So you really think I can recover from this? Can life really be that beautiful? I've been thinking about it all day long bro and its tearing me apart.

Please. please. please. please. please. please.

thizzlemonster86: In your post you say you're still feeling like I do everyday. Do you know that you will recover? How are you not freakin out bro?
 
Whatiswrongwithme, I am feeling what you are feeling. I've felt this for 3 months. The best thing you can do is relax and accept that this is the way you will feel for a little while. Maybe a month, maybe six months. You gotta calm yourself down. Getting a therapist has really helped me cope. So has meditation. One year from now this will all be over. You will get back to the old you. But you gotta do what you can to no longer be afraid of your current condition and what the future holds, and just cope. It's time and hard work. Every moment of every day is work to divert your attention away from it. But if you are persistent with it, you will notice the symptoms start to alleviate. It's working for me.

Edit: Everyday you should force yourself to do something that made you happy before all of this. For me, despite being anxious, having brain fog and no sleep, I force myself to meet friends to play music, or force myself on a date. Take baby steps, but you gotta push... and stay calm, composed, don't let your mind trick you. You're going to be OK. Breathe from your diaphragm, in and out when your mind starts playing tricks on you. PM me anytime if you need it. Peace. :)
 
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What'swrong, I feel ya brotha. This has been the worst experience of my life, and that's still an understatement. If you think logically about the situation tho you realize there's only one thing to do and that's move forward. Listen to all these guys above. It's good advice. Live your life on the presumption that you'll make a full recovery and you'll thank yourself when you start feeling better.
Hope for the best and in the meantime let's fight this thing together.
To a quick and full recovery
 
xxxyakinikuxxx said:
What'swrong, I feel ya brotha. This has been the worst experience of my life, and that's still an understatement. If you think logically about the situation tho you realize there's only one thing to do and that's move forward. Listen to all these guys above. It's good advice. Live your life on the presumption that you'll make a full recovery and you'll thank yourself when you start feeling better.
Hope for the best and in the meantime let's fight this thing together.
To a quick and full recovery
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Cheers to that! :)
 
Hi ya. I still firmly believe that you have worked yourself up into an anxious frenzy. Once you start getting panic attacks and the feeling of dread it is very hard to overcome by yourself. Listening to all these people and their encouragement is really good! But the brain and all the chemical imbalances is a very tricky thing. I see both a psychiatrist and a psychologist and talking things out really does help but the psychiatrist is the only that can prescribe you meds. I really do NOT suggest taking opiates to relieve this problem. I think it's so NOT what you need to do right now. I'm really hoping you will see a psychiatrist OR your reg old doc who can give you anti-depressants. you sound quite young (not a bad thing of course) and just very confused and I feel for you <3. Please consider my advice! What Harrythehead said about deep breathing when your mind is messing with you is GREAT advice.
If you would like to talk about it you can message me. I'd be happy to talk with you &#55357;&#56891;&#55356;&#57165;&#55356;&#57165;&#55356;&#57165;&#55356;&#57165;
 
Okay guys, I am going to try and keep my chin up for the next 4 months of my summer break. Hopefully it is still possible for me to recover from this.

I'm 19 years old and I don't want to give up just yet!
 
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