Random MSN Gibberings 100th Edition : Salsa Dancing With My Confusion.

[Albion]

^ Those 3D drawings got old fast.

 

[ponch]

Morning EADD.

It appears this rubbish weather has brought forward spider month. I've just encountered another of those big fuck off bastards that waltz about your house like they own the place. This one was approximately the size of a small dog. I should have got rid of it when I had the chance, now its disappeared. I'm not going to be able to sleep until I find it

 

[Albion]

mmmm

 

[ponch]

That spider looks like Louis Spence compared to the monster gallivanting around my flat.

 

[Furious George]

That spider looks like Louis Spence compared to the monster gallivanting around my flat.

That's no spider, few too many legs.

 

[Albion]

It's two spiders making babies.

 

[Furious George]

Spider sex, awesome.

 

[Tangerine Dream]

I didn't realise spiders had teh aids.

 

[Furious George]

teh Bad Aids

 

[Albion]

They don't have AIDs, they're aides.

 

[brimz]

Don't joke about the Aids man .

Honestly i find it hard to laugh about . I can see how people that haven't been effected can giggle but i've lost quite a few friends through Aids related illness. I mean fuk i've been worried before when i pin pricked a unknown needle .
It was a horrible wait .
Luckily
the bacteria can't survive outside the body for any length of time
So it just doesn't get me laughing .

I mean imagine seeing a friend with pnmeonia weighing about 5 stone with sores all over them & laughing at them .
When 2 years previous they were one of the prettiest people you knew ?

edit
sorry to put y'all on a downer it is a very hard image for me to shake away .

When we were at school H.I.V & Aids was seen as a Gay or Druggy disease
I have not got Aids or H.IV btw

 

[Mugz]

Not working again today, told the boss I had been puking up because of anxiety which isn't far from the truth apart form the puking up part, I would like to puke up but I am not going to. Next week will be a fresh start, still no benzos though, maybe I should get some etizolam.

 

[brimz]

Fresh start number 24 ?

That's ok i'm free all day mate can keep you company !!

 

[Tangerine Dream]

Not sure if my post constituted making fun of aids, but I see your point. So many people/shows make fun of it that it desensitises people I think.

 

[Mugz]

haha, yeah that's about it, fresh start 24 starts on monday :D

 

[jancrow]

Next week will be a fresh start, still no benzos though, maybe I should get some etizolam.

Maybe you shouldn't, though, mate? If you've recently done a lot of work to get off benzos it would be foolish to get more downers in, it would be several steps in a backward direction, please don't do that.

If you've become used to having benzos in your system over quite a long period of time I expect a lot of everyday situations are anxiety-inducing at the moment. Try not to beat yourself up about it, eat, rest, don't take drugs and just concentrate on getting in shape for next week. Chill and watch films or something at the weekend? Sure you can get back into the swing of things but I understand why you might be feeling extra anxiety at the moment, sounds like it's all part of the process of getting better.

 

[Mugz]

Thanks jancrow, that was a nice post, it made a lot of sense too. I still love your fiery avatar, it rocks. I might have some other chemical help coming to me this weekend, depends on the postal service. I will try and hold off on ordering benzos though as as you say it would just be a huge step backwards.

 

[masaz]

Weed and wandering on the cards for today! Feeling waaaay better after last night's codeine-induced sleep. Bet it pisses it down now I wanna go outside.

 

[Tangerine Dream]

Mugz, I think the longer you don't go in to work the harder it might be when you finally do return? Just tell yourself Monday is the beginning of a new week and really force yourself to go in, even if you have no sleep at all the previous night. I know its not as easy as all that but something has got to change in your thought processes to enable you to return maybe? I think the scenarios you might be building up in your head are probably a lot worse than the reality of going back? Good luck.

 

[Mugz]

That is what I'm going to do Mr Citrus :D Monday will be a work day whether I like it or not, if I don't end up turning up on Monday then I'm absolutely fucked and I don't know when I'll ever make it back. I'll make sure I'm up early on monday and have all my clothes laid out the night before and everything that I need on the side to make it easy to just jump out of bed, get dressed and leave the flat without having to think too much.

I totally agree the the scenarios I'm building up in my head are definitely worse than the reality, but that's the nature of anxiety disorders, I need to convince myself that I can do it, and to be honest, once I'm there the anxiety practically goes, it's just getting there that is the problem.