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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Random MSN Gibberings 100th Edition : Salsa Dancing With My Confusion.

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Tangerine Dream said:
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Not sure if my post constituted making fun of aids, but I see your point. So many people/shows make fun of it that it desensitises people I think.
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The way i see it is what if i started joking about other terminal illness .
Maybe ones that we all have had in our familys ?

Their is no difference at all .
 
There isn't a difference I agree. My grandad died of cancer, and I saw him waste away in a Hospice. Aids seems to be made fun of a lot more than cancer. Probably because aids doesn't effect as many people and its association with unsafe practices.

In an ideal world people wouldn't make fun of any debilitating illness.
 
Glad you dig the HARD ROCK INFERNO SUS!

I'm sure your desire to take things which relieve anxiety and give you a break from the way you feel at the moment is high (yeh I've seen that you're expecting something in the post) but it's only going to be temporary respite and surely the way you'll feel when you come back from that place will be worse?

I guess you're used to being cushioned by chemicals but I think anyone who reads your posts regularly would say that you don't seem to find happiness in drugs, you've experimented with an enormous range of substances looking for things which sort you out but none of them do - they just complicate your life eventually (or more rapidly, depending on what it is).

Please give some thought to the idea of properly leaving teh drugz alone for a while, you might have a rough patch while you straighten your head out but that would all be part of progress in the right direction, because I get the feeling you'd like to exist without them. At the moment you seem to be teetering on the edge of an abyss and it'd be horrible to see a good guy like you fall into it.
 
Tangerine Dream said:
There isn't a difference I agree. My grandad died of cancer, and I saw him waste away in a Hospice. Aids seems to be made fun of a lot more than cancer. Probably because aids doesn't effect as many people and its association with unsafe practices.

In an ideal world people wouldn't make fun of any debilitating illness.
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True say .
When you get to my age it's just not what you do .
 
benzos made everything easier, I could talk to people with confidence, I could get out of bed without being scared :( I could just be me, although a slightly dumber and clumsier me. I want them back, I want to be back on benzos, they help me, I need help and they help me a lot. It could just be my mental withdrawals talking. I just spoke to my pharmacy to ask if my olanzapine was ready and apparently it is, apparently there are 28 5mg diazepam pills waiting for me to pick up too. I think I need to make an appointment today with a doctor, if only to get a sick note for the last two weeks and to get back on a proper prescription program for the olanzapine and let them know that I have beaten the benzos.
 
Do that, go on, it'll only take a minute to book an appointment and it will have a positive effect on your situation. For one you'll be able to rock up at work on Monday knowing that you're going through the right channels (if only in their eyes). Seriously, it's a v good idea. I'm the biggest procrastinator on earth but I'm going to goad you about this all day til you do it. :D
 
Well I don't want to micromanage your life (for either of our sakes) but I feel as though that might be a bad idea, because you'll blatantly nom them all at the weekend and be in a shitpit of rebound anxiety and self-loathing come the Monday morning.
 
I phoned the doc, waiting on someone to call me back now, thing is, I need the olanzapine and they are going to be together in the same bag when I go pick it up, so I might aswell pick up the diaz too, I won't nom it all up this weekend, will save it for monday morning so it will be easier to get the ball rolling and get into work, then once I'm there I wont need to be diazing myself up anymore and I can probably sell it to a friend at work who is always asking if I have some.


Scrap that, the doctos just phoned back and they can only see me on Monday at 12.20 so I'm gonna go to work on monday morning, then leave to go to my docs appointment and then come back to work after it, rather than using my appt on monday as an excuse to have another day off work, well that's the plan now anyway.
 
Mugz said:
I phoned the doc, waiting on someone to call me back now, thing is, I need the olanzapine and they are going to be together in the same bag when I go pick it up, so I might aswell pick up the diaz too
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That sounds a bit like an excuse if you don't mind me saying so.

The work / appointment / work plan on Monday sounds like a good one. I'm sure as TD and you were both saying that you're probably building up all sorts of bad scenarios in your head about what people at work are thinking of you, but you're probably being much harsher on yourself than they are. I do that a lot too.
 
Is it really worth going to work on Monday, I want to be back as I'm only getting half pay for time off sick at the moment, used up all my full time pay allowance, I don't think I would get a sick note from the doc to cover the previous two weeks that I've not been at work if I say that I've been at work on the day that I go see the doctor. I think I should have monday off and get the sick note to cover myself, they will probably extend it to the end of the week though, but I don't think I'll get one if I have been at work on the monday.
 
My doc is weird, the only diaz I've ever been able to get Outta him are 2mg which is a waste of time, yet he'll chuck me Temazzies no bother. What's that about?
 
Mugz said:
Is it really worth going to work on Monday, I want to be back as I'm only getting half pay for time off sick at the moment, used up all my full time pay allowance.
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I don't really think that's a good idea. From work's point of view it shows goodwill and effort on your part to go in, go to your appointment, then come back. It shows that at least you're trying to get things straight with them and means you will be viewed more sympathetically.

Mugz said:
I don't think I would get a sick note from the doc to cover the previous two weeks that I've not been at work if I say that I've been at work on the day that I go see the doctor.
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I don't think that's right. I think it's important that you show you're trying to work, and probably important to yourself that you get back into the habit of going in.

Mugz said:
I think I should have monday off and get the sick note to cover myself, they will probably extend it to the end of the week though, but I don't think I'll get one if I have been at work on the monday.
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I REALLY think you should go in in the morning, go to the doctor's appointment and go back to work. If the thought stresses you out that might actually go in your favour, because you'll be obviously appear more anxious to the doctor.
 
Thanks for the advice, but what if i dont get a sick note from the doctor that backdates my time off? I can only have 1 week self certified but I've been off for 2 weeks now, I'm not sure what happens with pay and other stuff if I don't get it doctor certified, plus my doctors is about an hour away from my work so would take a while to get there and back. Maybe I'm just trying to think of excuse to not go to work and potentially be signed off for another week. I hate fucking anxiety and sometimes I think that I think too much, that's just a thought though, :\
 
Mugz said:
Thanks for the advice, but what if i dont get a sick note from the doctor that backdates my time off?
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If your doctor is aware of your ongoing anxiety and issues with benzos I expect that you will get a sick note. There are probably thousands of people in your situation in the UK, ie people who've been using benzos and having stopped (don'tpickupthatprescription) are finding the return to a normal healthy working life a bit tough. (S)he's probably seen this before, probably a fair bit. Explain yourself in those terms if you like- that you have been overwhelmed by anxiety after stopping long term benzo use. Imagine someone else saying that to you - it sounds perfectly reasonable doesn't it?

Mugz said:
plus my doctors is about an hour away from my work so would take a while to get there and back
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That's all expected and normal when you have a doctor's appointment. I spent over an hour waiting for my appointment on Monday and the doc's is only a ten minute walk from my home. I think it's really important to get things rolling towards you being back at work and not having that as another source of anxiety and this is a sensible step in that direction.

Mugz said:
Maybe I'm just trying to think of excuse to not go to work and potentially be signed off for another week.
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Yes, you definitely are. It's easier in the short term to not go in to work, to not go to the doc's, and just sit around vegging out on Bluelight or whatever but your long-to-medium-term interests are unquestionably better served by you going to work, having a break to see the doc, then going back in the afternoon.

Mugz said:
I hate fucking anxiety and sometimes I think that I think too much, that's just a thought though, :\
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INCEPTION! 8( :sus:

You have an option to go into work on Monday morning, to go and see the doc and then return to work. Believe me, it's the best thing to do. The thing you're most worried about seems to be pissing off your employer. The course of action I have outlined here is absolutely the best way to limit how pissed off they are with you... it's actual harm reduction.
 
Someone swapped my hair for Ash Ketchum's while I was asleep :|

Didn't get his hat though.
 
You are right jancrow, I know it. I just am scared of going back to work, and scared of going to the doctors too. I hate admitting I need help when I obviously do, and I hate going back to work after an extended absence as I get snidey remarks from one or two of my colleagues always
 
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