Being a smaller guy

[[S]alvatore]

5'8" isnt that short, but 120lbs is way too small dude. A lean 150lbs would be minimum, 170lbs if you want to stand out a little more.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm 5'8"/120lbs and I don't let it bother me or effect who I date.

No 120lbs is not too thin or way too small. We're just naturally thin people that's all.

 

[trooper7]

5'8" is average height for a man in the US.
You're not so small that women would dismiss you. I'm 5'8" (female) and the last guy I was with before my husband was 10 years older than me,5'7", had a pot belly and a lot of baggage.
But I liked him because he was funny, witty, we had a lot in common, and he carried himself with the confidence of someone 6'2" with a pocket full of $100's. I do have a height issue with men, because I'm a broad-shouldered (semi) tall girl. I don't want to feel like the man. But, the right man, with confidence, and a strong presense, is more important than height, even to me.
So square your shoulders, stand straight, know you're the shit, and hit on the prettiest girl in the room, thinking theres no way she'll say no. You'd be surprised what happens. Height is genetic, but you can learn charm.

 

[MrIbis]

^Totally this - just hit on her - worst thing that can happen is she says no... then onto the next...

carry yourself with confidence - give girls a reason to notice you - make some good looking chick friends - that helps alot. Girls wonder what it is that you have that the other hotties want - and use that as your game and confidence booster.

 

[[S]alvatore]

I'm 5'8"/120lbs and I don't let it bother me or effect who I date.

No 120lbs is not too thin or way too small. We're just naturally thin people that's all.

Yes it is. I got sick a few years ago, went from 170lbs down to 130lbs. People said I looked weak and sickly. Men are not supposed to be thin, regardless of their height.

 

[K-Dazed]

Dude, 120Ibs for a 5'8" frame is small, even if you are "naturally thin people". Eat some food (you don't even have to lift weights as long as you're doing something active, I like playing basketball) and you'll gain weight. I would've thought anyone who's 5'8" would at least be 130Ibs, if not 140Ibs when healthy looking. Looking like you're starving isn't healthy, and could be potentially why you feel small.

 

[morpher001]

First off, I'm not talking about penis size.

I'm about 5'8" and 120lbs. I'm pretty fit, work out couple times a week, and look decent. But where ever I go, I feel like the small guy. I try to keep my confidence up, but its always on the back of my mind. Girls seem to be so shallow for the tall and muscular type that I don't feel like I have a chance a lot of times. For guys with the same problem, how do you cope? And ladies, how big of a deal is a man's size to you? Any advice?

The best thing to do is to put it completely out of your mind. The height isn't anywhere near as big a factor as the whole 'short man' attitude that a lot of smaller guys carry as a way of trying to compensate.

 

[snazzy_sn]

i'm 120 lbs, homeless, really really skinny and i have no problems getting with decent girls.

culture yourself, make yourself come off cooler than everyone else, and be dark and enigmatic and surprise people by randomly saying really deep and intelligent things.

if not just be confident. i used to be smaller, but as soon as i started being myself and being confident things changed. the way girls perceive like... sexiness is a lot different than the way we do. i'm mean looking good is important, but not the most important thing. it's sounds cliche, but it's true.

there are a lot of shallow, superficial girls. but more that aren't...

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Yes it is. I got sick a few years ago, went from 170lbs down to 130lbs. People said I looked weak and sickly. Men are not supposed to be thin, regardless of their height.

Says who? You? That's just silly.

I'm the same height and weight as the OP and I don't look weak or sickly.

People said that about you since you wrote how at the time you were sick and did lose lots of weight all at once.

I have male friends who are 5'6"-5'9" and range from 115lbs-135lbs and they look fine and are healthy even though they're thin and happen to be average height.

I've never weighed more than almost 130 and that was when I was drinking too much booze and I look a lot better at 120lbs.

I've seen doctors and I'm in perfect health and yes it is possible to be a short/thin man and be healthy. I do eat right and eat a balanced diet of mainly fruits and vegetables with protein, and I drink mainly water throughout the day, and I exercise regularly doing both lifting and cardio.

 

[sarcophagus.heels]

Yes it is. I got sick a few years ago, went from 170lbs down to 130lbs. People said I looked weak and sickly. Men are not supposed to be thin, regardless of their height.

It really depends on your body type. My younger brother and one of my good friends are 130 lbs and 135 lbs respectively, and they're each 6' even. Yeah, they're skinny as hell, but they've been that way for years. They don't look sick or malnourished - they eat plenty, they just have crazy metabolisms. My dad was the same way through his 20s until age and beer caught up to him >.>

 

[[S]alvatore]

You probably think having abs at such a low bodyweight is attractive and an achievement as well. You looked better at 120lbs, because you barely had any muscle mass. That extra 10lbs at 130 was fat. Irregardless of how lean your friends are, they're still underweight.

While I'm here, big boobs on fat chicks don't count either. Don't let that spoil them for you though.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

You probably think having abs at such a low bodyweight is attractive and an achievement as well. You looked better at 120lbs, because you barely had any muscle mass. That extra 10lbs at 130 was fat. Irregardless of how lean your friends are, they're still underweight.

While I'm here, big boobs on fat chicks don't count either. Don't let that spoil them for you though.

Who wrote anything about having abs? I certainly didn't.

I don't however buy into the media's image that men have to have abs, a 6 pack, or be some muscle Mary in order to be handsome, healthy, or look good. Everyone has a different body type and preference as to who they're attracted to.

I'm not sure why you assume that I find fat/obese women, or large breasted women attractive but I personally don't at all.

I'm attracted to and prefer women who are thin/athletic and short, and men who are trim/athletic with a runner/swimmer's build, and those types of men and women are attracted to me.

 

[DrunkardsDream]

Yes it is. I got sick a few years ago, went from 170lbs down to 130lbs. People said I looked weak and sickly. Men are not supposed to be thin, regardless of their height.

Wrong.

You can be a short and thin man and be perfectly healthy.

You don't know anything about the human body or about how people have different body types.

You're a troll who uses steroids so of course you're going to claim BS like "Men aren't supposed to be thin".

I've had sex with more men than you ever will and some of them were short in height and thin, and they looked fine and are healthy.

Try actually studying the human body and learning about different body types, instead of trolling and shrinking your penis and balls with steroids.

 

[thujone]

First off, I'm not talking about penis size.

I'm about 5'8" and 120lbs. I'm pretty fit, work out couple times a week, and look decent. But where ever I go, I feel like the small guy. I try to keep my confidence up, but its always on the back of my mind. Girls seem to be so shallow for the tall and muscular type that I don't feel like I have a chance a lot of times. For guys with the same problem, how do you cope? And ladies, how big of a deal is a man's size to you? Any advice?

You feel small because you are small, and I say that as a fellow 5'8"er. 120lbs is limp as fuck for any body type. You could afford to throw on another 20lbs of muscle and it won't change your look but it'll at least give you some weight to throw around. Most of the guys I've ever scrapped with have been bigger than me and believe me I had to claw my way out of those fights because weight advantage is a big, big deal. Try lifting 40lbs, then realize that many guys have that extra weight on you in their bodies to use. Despite what the girls in here have to say about the merits of the heroin chic look, you're going to continue feeling small at 120lbs because every bigger guy that sees you will know at a glance that they could throw you around if it came down to that. People will assess you when they see you, of course it's going to hurt your confidence to know (even if subconsciously) that nobody sees you as any kind of threat.

 

[Foreigner]

We can talk about how, evolutionarily, tallness is preferred, but I don't feel that really matters as much as the personal confidence you excude. All of these comparisons you make of yourself with other guys just brings down your self-esteem, and that is the #1 thing that will make you unattractive to women. Looks matter, but at the same time women value a man that has confidence. Short guys get lucky all the time, they have girlfriends, they make awesome connections, and it's because they have big spirits and show that their height has nothing to do with how they approach living.

Likewise, tall guys don't get off scott free. A tall guy that is self-loathing is likely to attract other self-loathers, or no one at all.

I think you should reframe your thinking to be more appreciative of the body you have. If you workout then you're fit, and that already makes you a contender IMO. It's not what you have it's how you work it!!

 

[K-Dazed]

Wrong.

You can be a short and thin man and be perfectly healthy.

You don't know anything about the human body or about how people have different body types.

You're a troll who uses steroids so of course you're going to claim BS like "Men aren't supposed to be thin".

I've had sex with more men than you ever will and some of them were short in height and thin, and they looked fine and are healthy.

Try actually studying the human body and learning about different body types, instead of trolling and shrinking your penis and balls with steroids.

I feel like some people on here really don't know how small 5'8" 120 is. I'm not trying to troll anyone, but if you look up healthy weight for males who are 5'8", it is always at least 130, and that's at the small end. I know women who are 5'6" and 120, who look very skinny. On a man, 2 inches taller, 120 would be past skinny and look very sickly to me. I felt skinny when I was 5'10" and 150 (not only felt skinny, but was legitimately skinny).

You need to put some meat on your bones if you want people to find you attractive. No one wants to date someone who looks like they might roll over and die if left to their own devices. Like I said, I'm not trying to act like an asshole when I say this (though I know I probably am coming off that way), but I see no way a healthy adult (19+) 5'8" male should weigh less than 140Ibs.

 

[[S]alvatore]

wrong.

You can be a short and thin man and be perfectly healthy.

You don't know anything about the human body or about how people have different body types.

You're a troll who uses steroids so of course you're going to claim bs like "men aren't supposed to be thin".

I've had sex with more men than you ever will and some of them were short in height and thin, and they looked fine and are healthy.

Try actually studying the human body and learning about different body types, instead of trolling and shrinking your penis and balls with steroids.

I have never used steroids in my life. I already have neurological issues going on, so I would have to be pretty dumb to put extra stress on my body. We're not talking about feeling healthy, we are talking about looking healthy.

Underweight= unhealthy

Overweight= unhealthy

Centuries ago, when food was scarce, do you think the 130lb weaklings survived? Do you think they fared well in the cold compared to a more solid male? Maybe, if their hunting skills were up to par. Otherwise, they would have died. Real men should have a solid build for their height.

I am certain that I know more about the human body than you ever will, generalisations do not make you knowledgeable. You start with a certain bodytype, but it can easily be changed, you aren't locked into your body for the rest of your life. I'm assuming you're a fat person that can never lose weight noooo matter what you do, right?

How about you stop being ignorant, you learn about steroids, instead of repeating what others have told you. They don't shrink your dick, your testicles do become smaller, but once you stop using, they return back to normal size.

I'm straight, no desire to sleep with men, but you may continue sleeping around with those 100lb boys.....whoops, I meant men*.

 

[sarcophagus.heels]

You feel small because you are small, and I say that as a fellow 5'8"er. 120lbs is limp as fuck for any body type. You could afford to throw on another 20lbs of muscle and it won't change your look but it'll at least give you some weight to throw around. Most of the guys I've ever scrapped with have been bigger than me and believe me I had to claw my way out of those fights because weight advantage is a big, big deal. Try lifting 40lbs, then realize that many guys have that extra weight on you in their bodies to use. Despite what the girls in here have to say about the merits of the heroin chic look, you're going to continue feeling small at 120lbs because every bigger guy that sees you will know at a glance that they could throw you around if it came down to that. People will assess you when they see you, of course it's going to hurt your confidence to know (even if subconsciously) that nobody sees you as any kind of threat.

Seriously, assuming that you are a heterosexual male, I feel like you are brushing a lot of broad strokes about the tastes of heterosexual women in men. First of all, at least from personal experience, I've found that a girl's taste in men is a far more varied thing than a men's taste in women. Again, I'm just throwing that out there - I have no actual scientific evidence to give you, but at least concerning my friends and acquaintances, there have been guys that I find amazingly attractive that friends of mine would never consider touching, and vice versa.

Also, what world are you living in that guys are always looking to "throw you around"? Please, if you're the kind of meathead that is constantly thinking about how you would fair in a fight with the men around you, I am so far from interested.

Lastly, the friend of mine who weighs in at 135 and is 6' 0" has been working out for most of the year, because he knows he's slightly underweight. It just hasn't taken yet. As far as BMI goes, 137 and 6' 0" is right above the underweight limit. And seriously, being a lean guy in your teenage years and early twenties is not that uncommon - your metabolism has an annoying habit of slowing down after you stop growing.

I honestly didn't imagine that guys put this much thought into their body mass. Yeah, girls obsess about their body weight, but it's generally in the opposite direction.....>.>

 

[DrunkardsDream]

I have never used steroids in my life. I already have neurological issues going on, so I would have to be pretty dumb to put extra stress on my body. We're not talking about feeling healthy, we are talking about looking healthy.

Underweight= unhealthy

Overweight= unhealthy

Centuries ago, when food was scarce, do you think the 130lb weaklings survived? Do you think they fared well in the cold compared to a more solid male? Maybe, if their hunting skills were up to par. Otherwise, they would have died. Real men should have a solid build for their height.

I am certain that I know more about the human body than you ever will, generalisations do not make you knowledgeable. You start with a certain bodytype, but it can easily be changed, you aren't locked into your body for the rest of your life. I'm assuming you're a fat person that can never lose weight noooo matter what you do, right?

How about you stop being ignorant, you learn about steroids, instead of repeating what others have told you. They don't shrink your dick, your testicles do become smaller, but once you stop using, they return back to normal size.

I'm straight, no desire to sleep with men, but you may continue sleeping around with those 100lb boys.....whoops, I meant men*.

LMAO no I'm not fat or obese at all. Do you claim that about everyone including your own mom? I'm tall at 6 feet and I'm 160lbs.

Yes the men who I've dated and had relationships with who are 120lbs or thin were healthy. You can be short and thin and be healthy.

I've dated all sorts of men and in the gay or LGBT community most people prefer men who are lean, well built, and who have a runner's build as it's called.

Only a meathead such as yourself which sarcophagus.heels described perfectly in her post would claim that a man who is thin isn't a "real man" or other BS. The fact that you have neurological issues and a major mental illness only shows that you're talking out of your ass.

Quit trolling BS and learn more about the human body since your ignorance knows no bounds.

I don't care if you're straight. I doubt women even want a guy like you. I'm gay and I avoid ignorant meat heads like you.

BTW those thin men who I've had sex with are more of a man than an ignorant meathead like you ever will be.

 

[motherofearth]

alvatore your comments come off as quite judgmental, and the ideas you are espousing under the guise of healthy living are ableist, hackneyed, ones concerning idealized body norms and gender roles. If you are concerned over weight you should express it in a more solicitous manner.

Also, your comments about "fat chicks" are frankly boneheaded, and I'm glad I don't look at people that way.