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Being a smaller guy

T

TabulaRasta

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2010
Messages
5
First off, I'm not talking about penis size.

I'm about 5'8" and 120lbs. I'm pretty fit, work out couple times a week, and look decent. But where ever I go, I feel like the small guy. I try to keep my confidence up, but its always on the back of my mind. Girls seem to be so shallow for the tall and muscular type that I don't feel like I have a chance a lot of times. For guys with the same problem, how do you cope? And ladies, how big of a deal is a man's size to you? Any advice?
 
Maybe you feel like the small guy because you ARE the small guy.

I used to be your size. Now I weigh 150 lbs. Go eat some protein and lift some weights.

There's some good programs out there for skinny guys looking to bulk up. EAT!!
 
Aw you're about the same size as my boyfriend. He's the same height but I think he's like 130 lbs or something? Not sure, but he's pretty skinny.
Lifting weights and working out is pretty important.

But I'm pretty short (ummm 5', that's all) so he is tall compared to me. I've prefer guys who are shorter than average. Because guys that are like six feet tall ... that is a foot taller than me ... that is huge. And hard to kiss! But everyone is different :p A lot of other things come into play before height. All I care about is that the guy I'm dating be taller than me. So if he's like 5'3" or something ... eh, that's still taller than me :p
 
Man, I'm 5'6" at best, and about 145 lbs. I'm almost ALWAYS the shortest guy. 98% of the time. Hell, I wish I was a couple of inches taller. It's definitely an insecurity of mine, but then again, there's nothing I can do about my height at my age. I'm working on filling out though by exercising and weight lifting, and you should do the same. Your height really isn't a problem at all. I can't imagine very many girls thinking 5'8" is too short (unless they're taller than you). Like Two06 said: eat plenty of protein and lift weights. Stick to it and you'll start to notice improvement in your build and soon the people around you will too.
 
purplefirefly said:
Why does this make them shallow? Everyone, and I mean everyone, has physical preferences when they are seeking out a partner.
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I think it's more the subset of women who categorically dismiss any man who is shorter than they are that the OP sees as shallow. Sure everyone has physical preferences, but everyone has psychological, emotional, intellectual, etc. preferences as well. Nobody's truly your perfect match, and you have to give-and-take a little bit across your preferences if you don't want to end up alone. And I think it's a little stubborn when people flat-out refuse to give at all over the most rigid variable of them all. Not that unlike a man only dating DDs or black women or something. Again, not just preferring them, but actually going on the record as "I only date DDs."


To the OP, I'm going to tell you the cold, hard truth: You're 5'8 and you're never going to grow taller than 5'8. The sooner you can accept this, the easier it will be for you to live on with it. But hey, I'm 5'5-5'6 so it could be worse ya know ;)

A lot of people are suggesting that you start eating and lifting weights. This is generally good advice, but not necessarily because it will distract women away from your height. It's still shallow dating a man because of his sexy muscles, but something you'll quickly learn if you start lifting heavy is that it's not easy to transform your body like that. There are some women out there who will look at a man in great shape and be attracted to him not purely because of aesthetics, but because of the effort and commitment he must have put into it in order to look like that. Not that much different from being attracted to someone who worked really hard in college, works really hard at a job, plays an instrument really well, and so on. Plus, exercise will add structure to your life as well as helping you feel confident in your own skin (and height).

Try to not even make your height an issue with women. Some women who wouldn't find your height unappealing might find "nobody wants to date me because I'm so short, poor me..." a turnoff. And in this case YOU ruined it for yourself.

If everything fails, get some phat raver pants and hide some heels under 'em :)
 
Size isn't a big deal to me at all. Hell, I'd date a guy shorter than me! It's his personality that matters to me.
 
RedLeader said:
I think it's more the subset of women who categorically dismiss any man who is shorter than they are that the OP sees as shallow. Sure everyone has physical preferences, but everyone has psychological, emotional, intellectual, etc. preferences as well. Nobody's truly your perfect match, and you have to give-and-take a little bit across your preferences if you don't want to end up alone. And I think it's a little stubborn when people flat-out refuse to give at all over the most rigid variable of them all. Not that unlike a man only dating DDs or black women or something. Again, not just preferring them, but actually going on the record as "I only date DDs."
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True. The people who focus on on physical facets of a person are really only doing themselves a disservice, they could miss out on a great person. Tallness is something that I really like and find attractive in a man and all of the guys I have dated have been taller than me but also had other varying physical characteristics (ie physiques and hair/eye color for a couple examples). I would be hard pressed to believe that the majority of people seeking a partner are so close minded that they wouldn't stray at all from their internal concept of "ideal". Most people will bend, because as you said, no one has a truly perfect match.

If the OP has only found women who won't date him exclusively because of his height or weight then it's time to find a new place to meet women. I agree that he shouldn't make a big deal about his size, my suspcion is that he is drawing unwanted attention to it which is definitely a turn off. I would say that women appreciate self confidence.
 
5' 8" isn't that short...I'll admit that I'm generally not attracted to guys shorter than me, but I'm 5' 4", so that's rarely a problem. As for girls only being into the tall, muscular type, that's not true. I like for a guy to be reasonably fit, but I'm not into really bulky guys. But like purplefirefly said, people are flexible. Personality and self-confidence can get you a long way. I've definitely really liked guys that did not fit into my "ideal" at all, but they were smart and overall great guys. Don't psych yourself out by worrying about your looks too much.
 
I'm 5' 7" and depending where I am I feel big or little. Among middle class English people I'm on the small side, Americans are bigger, Dutch people tower over me, Belgians and French (except for the wealthy) are about the same. Welsh people are also about the same. In general younger people are taller. I'm happiest among people of about the same size.
 
5'8 isnt really that short, maybe an inch or two below average. If you take all ethnicities the world over into account 5'8 is probably average. In america probably a little below average. Not that big of a deal, youre probably taller than 90% of girls..... there are much worse physical problems to have, if that is the only thing that is "wrong" with you then you're luckier than most.
 
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I'm your height, only like 165-170lbs...I only recently got heavier.

Go after smaller chicks....but I agree, its mostly your mentality that makes you a little man.
If some chick don't like you for you, fuck her ... Shallow ass broads can go fuck off anyhow.
 
You can always get limb lengthening surgery if you don't mind getting your legs broken and painfully stretched for a year.. But your problem isn't your height. 5'8 isn't bad as most women are below that, just don't expect to bag any 5'10 supermodels. But they're overrated anyway, trust me. Ha. Your problem is you're way to skinny and that's easily fixed. You need to gain at least another twenty pounds man, 120 is incredibly thin for a 5'8 frame. I'm only an inch taller than you at 5'9 but I way 160 pounds, a good weight for my height that allows me to still be in good shape without being all bulky and jacked, which I don't really like. Think basketball player, not linebacker. Eat more and start working out to turn the new weight you'll be gaining into muscle.
 
Start buying some steaks and eggs and throwing some weights around.
My weight gain happened via little debbies eaten before bedtime, lol....I'm trying to lean down and then add the weight back as muscle.
 
OP (and other short people), there are shoe inserts you can buy that will add an inch or two to your height. Granted that's only while wearing the shoes, but still, just figured I'd add my two cents. :P

Also, if I were straight, 5'8 wouldn't be a problem for me at 5'2. :)
 
Im the same height man I know what youre sayin but everyone posting before me is right, its not like were midgets or anything. A lot of famous people are really short and nobody even realizes it because they never see them in person. Big L, Lil Wayne, Katt Williams, Kevin Hart, those are just a few guys I thought of real quick that are short and famous
 
it ain't about size, it's about your personality. your appeal, your confidence, how you carry yourself, how you speak, how you say what you have to say, your wit, your intelligence, your sense of humor, your passion for life, your values, etc. at least for me that's how it is. i mean i wouldn't rate another person based on his/her height or looks alone...

plus, you just have to change what you can change and accept what you cannot. after a certain age, men stop growing, so you could probably bulk up a bit if looks really are a big deal to you. otherwise just try to develop your character and your confidence--you're bound to find the right person that way...
 
I'm about the same, 162cm, 52kg.

I got a whole slew of girls all around me from having none. I got up one day and said hey theres things you can do - started doing them - i used to be a heroin addict.

Now i'm out running parties n djing and shit just from ideas i had and wrote on the internet. Girls who weren't interested at all years ago are chasing me all over the shop man. I wasn't good looking classically - but that's not what matters. That's skin deep - make em love you for you and you'll see. No doubt dude you have some skill that people think is cool. trust me.
 
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