I'm ADHD, so its a part of life. I'd run through amounts of weed a little to quickly than I should have. Hazy period of time in my life haha. I'm terrible with opiates too.
I got a high tolerance to most drugs because I tend to go big for short periods, rather than go small over time. I guess I like to chase that same feeling that you get on that first fantastic nod, high, whatever from a substance. Sadly some drugs like methadone aren't so nice in the idea of chasing that high. It was probably my favorite drug of all time, but once you dose it to many days in a row, or build a tolerance over 50mgs, it starts to lose its magic fast. Probably why its such a good drug for some chronic pain, or chronic problems, it doesn't have the same abuse potential with everyday use. Which is honestly why I put myself on it. I could abuse oxy, or hydros if I would want to eat 80-140mg, but methadone, no.
Yeah, so really whats best for me is to have someone hand out my stash everyday to me, or me to buy in small quantities. Though now I need to not get high anymore. Already stopped smoking weed, and stopped amphetamines for almost 2 months now, just need to control my opioid use.
I'd like to stop being such a druggy. Drugs can be very negative in life, especially when combined with mental illness, and I've shown myself that. I can't say to people anymore that I'm a successful druggy going to college, about to get my degree. I fucked up, not really because of drugs, but after fucking up they made everything 100x worse. I wont stop wearing my ketamine t-shirt though, gotta represent my roots haha.
Today is meh so far. Still cant escape this feeling of loneliness, and it's driving me mad. Fuck, the last time I've hugged someone was july 31st. I've grown tired of my life being constantly away from the things I love. Seems they are always 1000s of miles away.
edit: txting is also the devil when your so impulsive haha, it always gets me in tight spots with women. its a curse.
edit: to clean it up after n3os snipping

, sorry will be more careful next time. I should have known better.