Maybe I should have used the words cured my anxiety disorder, rather than cured my anxiety, would that be more appropriate?
Anxiety is a normal human construct, but it's excess of anxiety that causes problems. In my case it was social anxiety. I simply was unable to leave the house alone it was so severe. Even when I was with other people, the presence of anyone I wasn't close to would immediately trigger severe panic attacks that would cause my vision to black out, my heart to go crazy in my chest, and me to turn around and head inside.
After trying several different things with no luck, and remaining pretty much completely cooped up in my house for nearly 2 years, I'd actually pretty much given up on any hope of even dealing with my anxiety nevermind curing it completely. The aMT trip was supposed to just be good fun, visuals, and music appreciation, but I got more than I bargained for, in a wonderful way.
I don't think a psychedelic alone could cure someone like this, as in fact I did try and take psychedelics for this very purpose in the past, and instead I suffered horribly anxious trips, as if the drug itself were judging me for trying in that way. I think what was key is that the experience was with a friend, who guided me through it.
I've once heard someone say that psychedelics are like 10 years of therapy in one night, and that's pretty much what it was like. It felt like a very slow gradual breaking down of my anxiety until it was gone - but given that the entire experience lasted 16 hours, I hesitate when using the word "gradual".
I don't think either my friend, or the aMT could have cured me of my issues, but in combination, with an open mind, and a very good opportunity to test some of our theories the next night on New Years, viola, it was gone.
I could go into the actual detail about how I got through it all, and I'd gladly do so, especially for you TAC since you mentioned you have social anxiety. Though I would hasten to add that it's likely the messages on their own would do little - as I'd heard them many a time before and they never fixed anything, it was hearing them in that profoundly altered state that really struck me and made me realise how simple the answer to my problem was :D
The actual messages, and in fact the entire 16 hours of experience all boiled down to just 3 words, which is why I'm (rather safely) assuming it was the depth and psychedelia that led to them making such a great change.
But hey, when you get the message, hang up the phone
It's quite a magical substance indeed. I have found that tolerance to psychedelic effects develops rapidly but the amphetamine like qualitites only get better when dosing multiple days. So if you want to trip properly i'd suggest taking at least few days break, but in my opionion the real aMT fun begins when the psychedelier parts have faded, sounds weird right? Hard to explain:D. You gotta see it to believe it.
. I didn't even think of the smell when dosing today, when last night i could smell it clearly. Anyways...:D I plugged yesterday 55 mg of it and it was nothing like the one i had before. This time it was a full on serotonergic psychedelic trip. Was kind of disappointed at first because of what i was expecting but once the trip kicked in i was truly enjoying the experience. Not so much CEV's but strong trails and morphing all over the place. Again mentally it was very well under control in regards to the visual aspect. I found that the visuals were much more intensified in light opposed of darkness and when i went outside to smoke i could't believe how bright it was considering it was 9 PM. I vaped small amount's of it at the tail end of the trip and the brought a nice little rush, although very short lived. Vaping seems to lack the psychedelic side completely for me.
