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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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^^^ I heard Antabuse is horrible!! I know of people that would rather die than take it. The problem with that stuff is, the complete intolerance to alcohol. My understanding is that you can't have ANY types of alcohol. ie. Cologne, hygene products etc.
 
Yes, it's best to use an alcohol-free deodorant when on Antabuse, skin contact with alcohol can be enough to cause the unpleasant reaction. I personally haven't gotten any side effects from the medication, but I have to go to blood tests to make sure it doesn't cause liver problems (Antabuse can cause hepatitis in some oversensitive people).
 
Going to attempt a 'non-deletable' post here for once.

I have two types of alcoholism: my daily,.drink.a few pints at home and/or.one of the local breweries, or with my buddies. I barely see.this.as a problem (though my new.doctor disagrees) tho.the physical effects are embarrassing (having trouble.shedding a few pounds). Taken only one day off in years (when I was day 5 into a psychiatric.crisis and didn't have time to down a bottle)

Haven't done this for about.a.month (feels like a year) but when I.hit the liquor store (praise the Holy Possum they're seperate here) every month or two I drink with reckless abandon,.physically destroying myself and.often causing much chaos.in.the interim.

Now posting here its hard to separate the two. Both involve uncontrolled alcoholism.
I despise my liquor-induced.binges when.they occur, but can't imagine living a day without my precious local microbrews, where I know my brewers on a first-name basis.

Never tried AA; as a militant agnostic I completely.reject the paradigm, and.am not willing to 100% commit..to sobriety.
Around here it also.seems to.be an all-or-nothing endeavor though.

I've used and abused any/all.drugs over a 12 year period and am over all that (finally quit #1 cannabis this year), .so not sure where I stand.

Admitting any addiction in my career field would be suicide, so do I continue the questionable self-loathing and.managable.addictions for the foreseeable futute?

If someone offered me.heroin tomorrow I'd empty my bank account for a bag,.but as I have no friends I simply remained entrenched in my limited alcoholism.

I'd love to find the motivation to.skip the growler station on the way home but don't know how.to make that happen, week after.week.

Perhaps etizolam.will help. Just started popping those to.replace/augment.trazodone and try to get some.solid sleep.
 
Stop the Boozing and Let YOURSELF become the Good Person you Deserve to be

On Friday I had a hunch something was bad going to happen to me, in that I'd be done with drink driving, what happened next totally blew me away.

That day was like any other, I'd drink and drive to a friends place, only to go to anothers in a drunken state - yet after doing this for years and not being caught except for once over 5 years ago I had this feeling that it was good to go only at the back of my mind I knew today wasn't my lucky day. I ended up driving back home from the second friends place and had a car suddenly break in front of me to turn right with barely having the indicator on, this lady was turning right as her house was across the road. In my situation I was faced with 3 options - run into the back of her, turn left and smash into another car or go right over the median strip and so I smashed into the back of her car.

Now low and behold this would of all been fine and my insurance would of covered me and her for this unforeseeable accident however it was not to be. I registered a high range and made the bad decision of not choosing to go to the doctors for a different reading which probably would of shaved some months off my loss of license but I accepted for what I did was wrong. In the end when I ponder about it, I drove to save $30 for a cab which I needed to take in the end any how as the cops couldn't drive me home.

So what's the damage?

Loss of license - 1 - 3 years
Negligent driving fine - $1100
Drink driving fine - up to $3300
My car totalled - Loss of $1000 (Lucky I wasn't driving a $80,000 car and totalled it because my insurance wouldn't of payed for this)
The other ladies car - It was still driveable and didn't get towed away so it's possible the damages could be up to 7k?

In total it was my decision that night which made this situation for what it is and now I will be paying the price dearly.

So what have I learnt?

- Don't hang out with drinking friends because they aren't real friends (the next day these people who I drove to the other persons house so that they didn't have to pay for a cab didn't give two shits bout what happened to me and I learned a long time ago not too because they are just drinking friends and don't know how to be a real friend without the alcohol.)

- Simply don't drink and punish yourself

- Look for a different crutch if things are shit (jerk off 10 times a day if you need to make yourself feel better, it's probably safer)

- Don't think you're above the law

- If you haven't drunk in days and you have broken your drinking cycle where you always feel sober don't even think about stepping into a car.

- Accept what's coming to you and end the problem once and for all and kill the beast that lives inside.

And on that note I leave you guys with this quote which I pondered on the day before my accident:

“An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My Son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.””
 
Youre lucky you didnt kill someone. A drunk driver hit my mom. She was injured but she lived. I was supposed to go with her but i stayed home because i didnt feel well. Had i gone, they said i probably wouldve died, as the car crashed into the passenger side.

All your self directed reasons not to drink (and drive) sound great, but you might want to add "so i dont kill someone."
 
Lately part of me has been saying that it would be OK for me to drink a glass of a nice southern Italian wine with a meal a few times a year.

But, I am not sure if I'd continue to "drink normally"? Sometimes I can. Other times when I was drinking before I stopped 2 years and one month ago, I would go on binge and drink 6 or more drinks in a night both alone, or especially when out with friends at a bar or party when I did not have to drive home. When I was on vacation with friends and did not have to drive and going out to bars I would drink way too much and have 10-12 drinks in a night.

I drank some grape and cranberry juice today with breakfast. I told myself it was better than drinking wine, since alcohol can make me depressed. Often times when I would drink I'll get anxious and feel guilty, and I haven't used any alcohol at all in over 2 years, and other substances for an even longer period of time.

Before I quit drinking I would sometimes drink a mixed drink, beer, or glass of wine with a meal and that would be the only drink I would have that night.
 
njirem said:
dont gamble with your addiction, you're sober, keep it that way! :)
Click to expand...

I've decided it's best if I don't gamble with my addiction, and I did talk to other people who have been in the same situation as me and they said how if I start drinking again or using anything else it would only progressively get worse. It might not happen overnight but it would probably eventually happen.

Or I would use other drugs besides alcohol, and those would not be good to use.
 
Wise decision.
I remember way back when i quit smoking weed i replaced it with alcohol in several months. Must have been a year on when i suddenly realised i was drinking a bottle of wine every day before bedtime and got nervous still at work when i realised i had no alcohol at home and the stores were about to close (worked at a bar), so i drank a couple of beers after work and rushed home to go to sleep or smuggle some beers from work.
I suddenly had become an alcoholic.

There are many times i replaced one drug for another, wheter is was alcohol/weed/coke or binge eating to obsessive sports.
Now i only smoke tobacco and run for 30 minutes every day. I am really focused on not smoking too much and dont run faster or longer.
Its working pretty good now i must say, dicipline discipline discipline....structure structure structure, those are the magic words for me.

And i ALWAYS cook my dinner, so i am concious about what i eat. No more phat or salt take aways.
 
Priest,

It takes strength to do what you are doing. Don't fall back now. Too much work has been done to tempt another downward spiral.

I hope your alright
 
OK when I wrote that post I was craving alcohol. It's odd, most of the time I will be fine and not want to drink at all; but then sometimes I'll wake up or have a bad day, and want to drink out of nowhere. No I haven't drank any alcohol at all or used anything since it would not help.

When I was drinking alcohol when I was really bad I would go on daily binges for months at a time self medicating with alcohol, or using it as an escape to get so drunk I'd black out. I did not start out this way but eventually I started to drink this way. I did not have access to a car at all during this time and I would just drink at home alone, and then go out to a bar and drink more. I was in college at the time and a fulltime student and I found it not that difficult to do this, work, attend classes, do well in classes, take exams, do research, write long papers, and work on projects for university classes. I did realize I had a problem with drinking daily and I tried using cannabis instead and eventually I just wound up smoking herb daily instead, and this was not good. I did pretty much stay sober for a short period of time but then once classes started up I started to drink and smoke herb again.

But then sometimes I was able to drink "normally" or socially or only have 1-2 drinks in an evening with a meal.

I quit drinking without going to NA/AA, rehab, or detox. when I was getting ready to quit I would on ocassion a few times a month on weekends drink only 1-2 drinks. Or if I was out with friends drinking at a bar or party I would drink 5-6 drinks. There was one time I did drink 6 drinks alone but usually the only time I drank like that was when I would be in a bar with friends, on vacation in a bar with friends, or at a party drinking with friends.

It sounds weird but some alcohols I would not binge on. I grew up drinking a glass of wine with meals or at holidays and I've never had more than 2 glasses of wine or gotten very drunk off of it the way I have with beer and various liquors?

Maybe it's best I avoid alcohol? Or if I ever do choose to drink again only drink wine with a meal and only maybe a few times a year?

Part of me wants to drink, and then part of me says to stay far away from it, and is afraid to or does not want to let it get out of control like it did before as I've heard that it won't be nearly as easy to stop.
 
For me at least, the risks associated with drinking outweigh any of its potential benefits. I have to keep it that simple sometimes. God knows I tried and tried to moderate it. In fact, it was my great obsession for almost a decade.
 
addiction is a little monkey in your head that needs food to survive.
After a while he can scream and nag for a banana to stay alive, but once you give in its huge appetite returns and he demands another banana, give in, and he expects a full stomache all day.

Deny him that banana and he will eventually go comateus.

But he will never die, every once in i while, wheter its after weeks or years, he will regain conciousness and try to temptate you to throw him a couple of peanuts out of compasion.

Dont give him the peunuts, even if its been years...the monkey is the only animal on this planet that deserves starvation, no mather what.

fuck him, the monkey can go to hell ;)
 
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I do sometimes question myself as I wrote in my previous post to this thread. But I'm not going to start drinking or using other drugs again.

I started thinking back to how I would drink pitchers of beer and I don't mean sharing one with someone but drinking an entire one myself, and then drinking shots of liquor or mixed drinks.

I have met people who have done both for decades, and it's not something I want to risk. Even with some of my friends who are around my age who are addicted to alcohol it's not a good thing to risk.
 
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list of reasons i should not drink, positives and negatives
#1 i don't want to die an alcoholics death
#2 even when i do drink i truly don't even feel good from it anymore. and it takes sooooo much to do anything, just to feel like shit
#3 I use to feel healthy even though i drank, now im looking in the mirror and im feeling not healthy with my stomach inflamed from alc abuse
#4 I need to be productive, i need to get my life on track. trying to find the person to help me get it together ooo wait look in the mirror yeah that would be you!
#5 when i drink im no good to anyone and will not have a fulfilling relationship wile wasted everyday. and for some reason girls dont dig the beer belly look.LOL 2-3 months and i could easily have my 6 pack back. and it will decrease my back pain too i need extremely good core strength for what i do! i preach health to clients wile killing myself slowly ! and im not fooling anyone. its fucking sad
#6 with the amount of medication i take for pain mixed with alc is a fast track to 6 feet under.
#7 i recently did 43-44 days with no alc from just reading this thread! its time i try harder !
#8 i really shouldn't be giving harm reduction advice to any thread wile being a alcoholic poly drug addict !
#9 when i do stop im happier overall with my life and i can start to really see the positives
#10 Its been a littel over 24 hours sense i last had a drink and im a better man today, and tomorrow ill be even better then i was yesterday!

This is the first in many posts! everyday i will remind myself why i don't want or need a drink. as time go's on my posts and threads will become positive. happy healthy life is what i want. If i ever want to attract what i am attracted to ?!!. then don't drink and go get what you deserve. A sip of health, wealth, and happiness is on its way!
 
silas GUY said:
list of reasons i should not drink, positives and negatives
#1 i don't want to die an alcoholics death
#2 even when i do drink i truly don't even feel good from it anymore. and it takes sooooo much to do anything, just to feel like shit
#3 I use to feel healthy even though i drank, now im looking in the mirror and im feeling not healthy with my stomach inflamed from alc abuse
#4 I need to be productive, i need to get my life on track. trying to find the person to help me get it together ooo wait look in the mirror yeah that would be you!
#5 when i drink im no good to anyone and will not have a fulfilling relationship wile wasted everyday. and for some reason girls dont dig the beer belly look.LOL 2-3 months and i could easily have my 6 pack back. and it will decrease my back pain too i need extremely good core strength for what i do! i preach health to clients wile killing myself slowly ! and im not fooling anyone. its fucking sad
#6 with the amount of medication i take for pain mixed with alc is a fast track to 6 feet under.
#7 i recently did 43-44 days with no alc from just reading this thread! its time i try harder !
#8 i really shouldn't be giving harm reduction advice to any thread wile being a alcoholic poly drug addict !
#9 when i do stop im happier overall with my life and i can start to really see the positives
#10 Its been a littel over 24 hours sense i last had a drink and im a better man today, and tomorrow ill be even better then i was yesterday!

This is the first in many posts! everyday i will remind myself why i don't want or need a drink. as time go's on my posts and threads will become positive. happy healthy life is what i want. If i ever want to attract what i am attracted to ?!!. then don't drink and go get what you deserve. A sip of health, wealth, and happiness is on its way!
Click to expand...

You have some excellent points.

Even if I'm not a full blown alcoholic and more of a "problem drinker" or have been in the past I think it's best that I do not drink alcohol.

I hope you get help for your other addictions besides alcohol. Good luck.
 
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