Man I think I'm at the point that the physical symptoms are only holding me back now. I really want off, it's so not worth it. It's not worth it at all, it's a fucking nightmare of a life and I wish I never tried that shit because I worry it might mess me up permanently. I'm not giving up, I truly feel that I've hit my bottom.
Shroomy, 4 days is AMAZING! Paste those sentences^ on your wall, your mirror, the back of your eyelids if you can! I know chronic pain will always kick our asses, but we gotta keep our heads up and not let it win! Take it one moment, then one minute, than one hour, then one day at a time, baby steps will get you there! How are you getting through it? Do you have help? I'm here, hoping and praying that you make it through, I can't wait to see you post that the worst is over, and you did it!
Remember that anytime we quit an opiate it takes our bodies time to readjust. See, when taking opiates, your numb the pain. However, pain is part of our survival instinct, it's how we know we cut ourselves, the pain tells us so we won't bleed out. It is how we know our limits, the pain tells us so that we don't exhaust ourselves beyond repair, etc. Does this make sense to you? Knowing this is always half the battle when I do a reset with my pain meds and knock them out of my life for a week so that they will work again. Because knowing this, I understand that my body turns up my pain so that I can feel it past the meds, it keeps me safe and alive. This means that when I stop numbing myself, my pain is... oh gods there is no words! The pain IS! I have to give my body time to readjust, to turn down the volume knob on the pain receptors. When I let my body reset like this, it is so hard, but the reward is worth it. Having my pain meds work again, that is R E L I E F!
Stay strong! Keep carrying on, and stay strong, you will get better!
As always, g.r.s.h.