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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo) 2 - Tory Britain in Flames

Assume or consume awful American Whiskey and the souls of chickens?
 
Just visited family - my grandfather's dying, slowly and fucking painfully and I don't know whether to cry, scream, or just smash the fuck out of everything I own.
 
Sorry to hear that Sprout, I'm currently going trough something similar with my Gran (my last Grandparent) who has cancer and also suffers from dementia, although she is now in her 90s . It's horrific especially if they are bed bound - have you just found out or did you know he was ill?

From your reaction I'm assuming you were quite close to your Grandfather, as I said I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time mate, best thing you can do is be there for him, visit regularly. If he is anything like my Gran then that is the kind of thing that makes their day, just popping in to say 'hello'.
 
He's been ill for the last 6 years or so with COPD caused by 40 a day smoking and breathing in sawdust every day for 50 years straight. I've never known anyone more capable of fighting through pain than him - he blew off part of his finger with a rifle and stuck a Vodka soaked rag on it rather than see a doctor, put part of his hand through a circular saw and was more worried about the blood stains on the kitchen we were putting together. So to have him admit he's finally "old and fucked, I can't do it anymore" is tough to hear. He can barely get around these days and he's going downhill pretty quickly.
Didn't have much to do with my actual father for most of my childhood so I always looked up to my grandfather as a father figure, an old fashioned, rough and tumble, hard as nails...
<3
 
Aye, sounds like a tough bloke right enough, to see him like that must be difficult, especially if you looked up to him as a father figure. He also sounds like the kind of bloke that would want you to stay strong over it mate (although easier said than done granted).
 
I feel sad bevause a former friend won't speak to me no more :( n I've tried making it up to him for upsetting him. I feel extremely guilty about what I done because I miss him :( I tried talking to him. I said I be willing to discuss this n try putting things right I know he's helped me a lot n stuck by me but said some not nice stuff has truly hurt me deeply. Just wish he knew I feel mega guilty because my choosing to do a certain thing, wasn't to hurt him I really like this person heaps n all I wish is to make up to him n put things right n he acts like I'm the biggest scum ever. I'm still me ain't I? :( I've tried putting this to the back of my mind n acting like I'm not bothered. But I am bothered. I feel bad, guilty, sad n upset n truly miss him a lot :(

Evey
 
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Eve, he was a former friend. You have made it clear that the pathways to rekindle your friendship are open for him if he wishes. The fact that he does not and treats you like 'scum', should maybe make you realize that he does not wish to be your friends and you should use the energy on the friends you have.
 
I know logically, Beary,you're right but doesn't stop it hurting tho. I didn't do 3-fpm to hurt anyone truly I didn't but I feel bad for it n like I must be a horrible person because I've made this person feel betrayed. when it was never anything to do with him. I did this for me as it was something I wanted to do for me. Why he is making this about him n hurting me like this :(

I can't do anything without someone making me feel bad for it n now I have guilt over him n Why can't people just be there for me n just give me their support?

I feel deeply upset n hurt n I know I shouldn't n have tried putting a dont-care act on but feel guilty n like scum of the earth just for trying something - by someone I thought was my true friend n whom I cared for deeply

Wish I could be cold-hearted person because it would save a lot of mental angst n torment if I was :(

Evey
 
Wow am I that transparent?

I can't say no more as it will be difficult for people to give me constructive advice now n I don't want turn people against him on here. I need to be less transparent. How did you know I meant him?

I blame the 3-FPM been up all night on it n I've bought 5 g. How's your christmas going?

Evey
 
Nooooooooooo!!! Postie forgot me drugs :(
Maybe when he hinted about a 'Xmas tip', perhaps "Santa doesn't exist" wasn't what he was after....
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Nooooooooooo!!! Postie forgot me drugs :(
Maybe when he hinted about a 'Xmas tip', perhaps "Santa doesn't exist" wasn't what he was after....
Click to expand...

Oh no that when you get your 3-FPM on Saturday I would have finished my 5g worth. Would be fun us both doing 3-FPM together a right laugh

Evey
 
Feels a bit sad :( n no i don't to state publicly just lettimh people know that's how I feel:(

Evey
 
The next time I hear the opening bars of Jess's ringtone, I will know exactly what the message is going to be, even before I answer it. And I will be booking train tickets, dropping everything and heading down South for a funeral. I have nothing to wear -- I have not had to attend a funeral since I was Simon. And since he was the person Jess's mother knew, I might even be expected to wear a man-suit.

These are the thoughts that will not stay in the back of my mind today, as I am working on an important programming assignment. They will keep surfacing to stab at my eyes and nose.

Everybody else, please try to be with the person you love even if it's only for a moment.
 
Oh baby girl, I don't know what's happened or how close you were but I know sadly all too much the pain of loss. You know how to contact me if you need a chat. Hell, even just ask Ceres for a decent gif. Life is full of the the people that hold you up when you need it. You only need ask, sometimes you don't even need ask. Take care.<3
 
BecomingJulie said:
The next time I hear the opening bars of Jess's ringtone, I will know exactly what the message is going to be, even before I answer it. And I will be booking train tickets, dropping everything and heading down South for a funeral. I have nothing to wear -- I have not had to attend a funeral since I was Simon. And since he was the person Jess's mother knew, I might even be expected to wear a man-suit.

These are the thoughts that will not stay in the back of my mind today, as I am working on an important programming assignment. They will keep surfacing to stab at my eyes and nose.

Everybody else, please try to be with the person you love even if it's only for a moment.
Click to expand...

((((Julie)))) xxxx

Evey
 
BecomingJulie said:
The next time I hear the opening bars of Jess's ringtone, I will know exactly what the message is going to be, even before I answer it. And I will be booking train tickets, dropping everything and heading down South for a funeral. I have nothing to wear -- I have not had to attend a funeral since I was Simon. And since he was the person Jess's mother knew, I might even be expected to wear a man-suit.

These are the thoughts that will not stay in the back of my mind today, as I am working on an important programming assignment. They will keep surfacing to stab at my eyes and nose.

Everybody else, please try to be with the person you love even if it's only for a moment.
Click to expand...
Oh baby, I'm so sorry to hear that. You know how to get hold of me if there's even the slightest help I could possibly be.
<3
 
Thanks for the support. I think I am going to be fine. It's just the "not now, but soon ..... really soon now ....." thing that is so wearing .....
 
BecomingJulie said:
The next time I hear the opening bars of Jess's ringtone, I will know exactly what the message is going to be, even before I answer it. And I will be booking train tickets, dropping everything and heading down South for a funeral. I have nothing to wear -- I have not had to attend a funeral since I was Simon. And since he was the person Jess's mother knew, I might even be expected to wear a man-suit.

These are the thoughts that will not stay in the back of my mind today, as I am working on an important programming assignment. They will keep surfacing to stab at my eyes and nose.

Everybody else, please try to be with the person you love even if it's only for a moment.
Click to expand...

I don't want to pry, but are you referring to Jess herself, or someone else? Either way, I feel for you Julie. Take care... <3
 
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