Most persons actually don't know who they want to be, so that's why I am so astonished that she seems to refuse to fit the model.
I would be delighted if someone told me exactly what to be and how to behave, especially if that would bring actually more value to me, measured both by the standards of the society and the fact I would be more then happy to try to provide what she really wants in the relationship. So we might have a typical deadlock problem where neither party wants to give in what another wants until it receives it.
This is especially tricky if I wanted to give her appraisal and make her feel loved and sexy as someone here suggests, since then basically I'd be giving a false appraisal for something that fails to fully meet actual quality standards. What I do if she does not start giving bjs, does not start exercising or dressing as I find attractive etc., recall my appraisal??
I said...listen...if you don't do sex, don't cook my favorite food, etc...What's the reason for having you around at the first place? And she says that she's not a dog so there need not be a reason for having her. This is misleading, since the prehistorical time there has been a role and duties for everyone.
Love is in my book defined as a feeling where each party perceives it has an (for the lack of better word) object of a higher value, otherwise difficult to attain if lost, which matches or exceeds personal perceived value measured by some standards. Now if the gf is making trouble and whining about providing sex, than it's by no mean an object that's "irreplaceable", since if she is not providing anything, then there is nothing to lose for replacing her. To the same tune, once when the perception of "superior value" is lost, the love is in danger since it's no more object of exceptional worth, thus the need for the other party to immediately act and increase perceived value, explaining most of jealousy plotlines we witness around.