My gf is out and me a bit bored, so boredom is mother of all trouble and I decided to reflect about some issues in my LTR and ask for your help.
A curiosity is that even the most direct signals I'm giving to my partner about what she needs to change aren't helping at all. It's like she is not even listening or internally denying everything I say.
I clearly exposed that: my most important criteria of valuation of the quality of a gf is physical beauty and attractiveness as measured against a basket of my own opinion and opinion of the general public ("other males turning heads") roughly in a ratio 30:70, where higher weight in the basket is given to the opinion of the general PUBLIC. Along with that, provocative styling, high heels and mini skirts as well as aesthetic surgeries are highly encouraged if necessary to meet those goals. There should be no serious illnesses or imperfections (birth marks, scars, deformities etc) or the latter should be corrected immediately. Mental side and moral values are next to unimportant for a simple fact that if we disagree we can treat that as an advantage and learn something more in the process or simply cultivate that good sense of free opinion and democracy as well as non-judgmental "anything goes" mentality. I don't expect to receive advice or explicit help from my gf in any way, I bring my own decisions and I am indifferent to her success or failure (professional, knowledge development, being "smart" etc). If we can't talk "on the same level" intellectually, it's fine, we can still be together walking by the lake with headphones in our ears or sitting and reading a book. The girl should act as a Darvinistic-female which assumes also competing with other females, posting better looking FB photos or more intriguing status updates as well as actively managing public relationship of the couple as to increase overall appearance of value for both in the general public. Being obedient is not a key, but not working against is utterly important.
Needless to say, albeit I brought up this list many times even directly (btw a smart girl knows how to get clues), she continues to increasingly diverge from this valuation model. Now she's even getting fat, obsessing with some academic stuff, sex life is tumbling down due to a bad logistics we have now and utter lack of what I like to call a "passion for the cock" factor. If I want to fuck her it looks almost as if I am forcing her since she's been ever since complaining about a tight pussy problem, requiring some (for me) strange pelvic motions for her to orgasm. She's never been too passionate about licking and given her history of some vaginal infection problems it has weighted negatively also on my willingness. I literally have to force her to suck dick (which happens once in 2 months on average!!), then she is obsessive compulsive that it's not clean enough and requires some religious hard-scrub washing of the thing before and after. Spontaneity factor is falling to zero and everything boils down to a BORING overlong kissing sessions. Kissing for 5 minutes is fun, for 1/2 hour is just a torture.
She wants to cuddle all the time like a fucking baby albeit she is of same age as myself and projects an overall image of a person upon which weight of the whole world has fallen - heck she even slouches while walking. Can someone explain this cuddle-but-low-sex mania??
She'd be willing to exercise or go get surgery for her juveniles, but guess what, someone needs to go with her, push and motivate her and make big deal even of the most simple things in life. And I fail to provide that since (guess what) I'd like also for someone to constantly push me and motivate me to rise my OWN value, I never enjoyed such luxury in life, only headwinds!! I don't have a capacity to provide that, same like I can't provide wealth since I don't have any wealth, so I'm waiting for someone to provide it to me OR at least religiously stick to my strategic plans of making wealth and not act contrary to sabotage me.
She appears as if she'd be crushed if I left her, but at the same time fails to accept any of my advice how she could improve her standing within this relationship. This is again another luxury only I provide, since other people would simply leave without giving any sincere feedback or clues about how to improve.
So the story "high heels are uncomfortable so why wear them" or "that's not my style" outweighs what should be a desire to satisfy your partner?? This is what puzzles me. Is she a masochist just waiting to be left and hurt or there is some underlying game here at play which I fail to understand?
