hey no problem. If you ever need someone to vent to, or just chat with about stuff, feel free to hit me up. I'm always there for another person in need, because there always seems to be someone when I need it, so I never mind helping others out.
edit: Oh, and don't be mad at yourself! It can happen to anyone, it's easy to lose yourself and forget about how things are in comparison to everything else, because a lot of the time there is nothing else when you're addicted. It doesn't make you a pussy at all, but just makes you human---we're all flawed. Just keep reminding yourself of how strong you are(especially if you've gotten of large amounts before).
Honestly, the things you've mentioned are the main reason I make myself not do anything at least once every couple weeks. It really sucks, but it definitely helps keep it in check so much, and I recommend doing it to anyone who is at a point where they can detox at least a little every 10-14 days. It does wonders for the mind, to have a little bit of sobriety every now and again. It makes it wonderful when you get back to your intoxicant of choice. And, doing it controlled this way, knowing you've got something there waiting for you when you decide to finally get high again, makes it so much easier to bear the wait, because it's not the way most people are forced to wait, anxiously wondering when(if?) their next score will be, when their guy will be back in stock, etc. But, you have to set a goal(2 days, 3 days clean? Just long enough to be over WDs? Set a goal, prepare for it--aspirin, immodium AD, good tissues, good music, good food, etc-- and go for it), because if you don't, I promise that within a day or so you'll be telling yourself "it's been long enough" and you'll be chomping at the bit to get back to it. If you can train yourself to do this and make it through, you'll find that you don't even need maintenance(though, I'm not by any means trying to downplay its importance or necessity for some people)---If you absolutely can't do it, there's always maintenance to fall back on, if you do do it, you'll feel like one bad ass mother fucker that's for sure. Also, if your WDs are so bad that you are feeling really dangerously ill, get help! I'm not advocating putting yourself in danger.
Sorry to get off topic. As for the m'done, I started with the 15mg's and t+2.00 hours I'm feeling a bit but not floored or anything, just a slight buzz(smoking a bit of chronic too, so obviously any effects will be enhanced). Thinking about taking the other half pill(5 mg's), should I wait a full 4 hours? I'm def gonna wait at least 30-45 more minutes, but since I'll have to wait another 2 hours or so for whatever I take to kick in, I hate to let too much time pass(not as much as I would hate to OD though ya know).
