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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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shouldvestayedhome said:
Also, I know it's not brain zaps ethier. Tell me did you feel like acid was poured on your brain when you were coming down?? This a result of my dumbass rolling two days in a row and I fucked the rest of my life. The only people who I can find on here are people like Nambo. But he is not the same
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Yep, people do get the burning brain/brain fry sensations, I certainly had a fried head sensation for quite some time, and have had actual neuropathy over parts of my head. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t recover ;)
 
@Gotcha I sure hope it's the case. But do the sensations ever go away? How did you know nueropathy played a part in it as well?

@Nambo can you describe your "Burning Brain" experience? Does impression of the sensation still linger in the areas were you first felt them in?
 
shouldvestayedhome said:
@Gotcha I sure hope it's the case. But do the sensations ever go away? How did you know nueropathy played a part in it as well?
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The sensations do go away, but it’s important to correct postural/musculoskeletal issues if they don’t go away on their own.

I’ve had neuropathy affecting muscles on my face/head and elsewhere, for a while I had pins and needles/weakness extending over half of my head. The problem was eventually localized to the back of my head/neck (where a lot of cranial nerves live) after manual work of the tissues there relieved the pins and needles.

Some people may have different “brain fry” sensations, but I assure you they have very little to do with the brain itself (the brain has no sensation, but there are plenty of cranial nerves and muscles around that can cause the sensations)
 
Update: after a change in psychiatrists I am currently on 100mg of trazodone and 15 miritizpine for sleep. The medication help alor with anxiety and depression. However, I still have this pain in the back of my head.

Well with I told people about my thoughts of suicide at my work and was sent to a pyschologist. The psychologist seems pretty nice but thinks I am just fixated on the drug use. Which is understandable from the outside looking in but I obviously know myself better than anyone else and I know there is something wrong.

While searching for answers on blue light I stumbled across somdude's old posts. I read them as if they were my very own. You can feel the sheer panic that he felt in the quest of trying to "cure" himself. From I what I gathered he was convinced that a concussion played a part of his "LTC". But I have to bring up that in one of his posts he did mention that he felt a "burning sensation". This "burning sensation" might be the outlier in our stories. Due to the fact I have seen no posted success stories from people who experienced this symptom while coming down. I am not denying the existence of recovery stories from people with this symptom while coming down

I am finally grasping that this might be permanent. Things were so preventable when I look back at the situation. I would've never have thought that my life would end up like this. I knew better I should've stayed away from drugs and shoykdvestayedhome. It's surreal looking at the situation and it reads like WARNING this type of situation can happen to you if your reckless drugs.

I know post seems pretty bleak but this is my new reality just. I have two choices ethier live out the rest of my life like this and hope that one day it changes or just go out as Somedud did.
 
@shouldhavestayedathome please please please stop drawing all of these conclusions from another person recovery or lack of. I know it's hard but your situation and recovery is COMPLETELY separate to theirs and is in no way effected by reading them. Try to stay away from the bleakness of those posts as they are extremes and will not help anything. I believed 100% that I was doomed, if you could ask my family they would agree, I talked about suicide and ending the constant pain almost daily. Now I am happier than I have ever been, it truly can and will happen! Yes stuff still feels different but you will adapt to it and they do get so much better! You have to work at it though, start with baby steps but start today, give it time and just try. You only have one life and if you go out prematurely then that is it! Focus on yourself, don't search for answers, there aren't any and in the end you could turn this experience into your greatest motivator. Please don't do anything drastic as no matter how long winter lasts, spring always arrives. ( cheesy but one of my favourite quotes ) keep going!
 
@Regrets9995 thanks for letting me known that I am not alone in this battle. I am just tired of being a bitch about it. I don't know you or anyone else drew the strength to carry on when you stripped yourself of everything you took for granted.
 
@shouldhavestayedathome you will gain momentum as you start to slowly feel better and better and the strength jusy grows and grows. Get a support system in place both personal and professional and just build on the basics. Focus on yourself and commit to improving yourself. Just getting out of bed in the worst of this is in itself a victory. You will from this day on appreciate every little bit of happiness you receive in the rest of your life and that is a gift. Focus on doing the little things right and the big stuff will follow. It might feel as if you are empty but this experience will teach you so much about yourself and arm you with resilience for the future. Borrow my belief for now that you will get through this, your own belief will come later on. And bitch about it as much as you want, be mad at the universe but don't let it crush you any more. You are never on your own.
 
@zeroluck I guess it's a possible answer but I don't know. It could be honestly anything at this point. Your right I am obsessed with trying find a solution for my fuck up. But I am trying to hang in there.
 
It's not only possible. It's very, very likely this. You can find WAY more people having your symptoms from Anxiety than MDMA use.

So what's stressing you in life beside your symptoms, that could be a loop of your constant worrying?

It may sounds funny but let me ask you...

How do you feel when smelling hot coffee? Relaxing?
Have you tried relaxing activities like warm bath? Hot Springs?
Have you tried walking in the nature?
What about swimming?
And just practice breathing and concentrate on that and be grateful?

Please, please do me a favor and try to relax and release the build-up stress!
 
Hey guys,

Little update, I'm 3,5 months in and I feel things are really improving! Last week, after few days with horrible nausea, i started to feel much better, I mean MUCH better. Head pressure gone, brain fog gone, for few days I felt like 90-95% recovered most of the time! Feeling almost normal is absolutely awesome feeling. For some moments I even forgot that I'm on LTC, which didn't happen since it all started yet. I think might be that my nausea, which is a big part of my LTC now, isn't directly related to LTC, but I get it from stomach ulcers which I probably got after terrible stress in first 1,5 months of LTC. Now I feel slightly worse, but now I know that I'm recovering and and I think I need maybe 2-3 months to complete recovery.

@shouldhavestayedathome do you remember when we spoke about strange sensations in head? I had them, they were really strong and nasty, maybe not burning, but definetly very unpleasant, hadache, pressure, and "constant brain zap" as I described it then. Now they lessened a lot, sometimes I don't feel them at all! I also thought that I'm permanently fucked up, but if I did something stupid then that would be huge mistake. I cannot guarantee you will recover completly, but I think you just need more time. I'm just lucky that things started to get better relatively fast. I think one day will be your turn to recover.
 
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ZeroLuck said:
It's not only possible. It's very, very likely this. You can find WAY more people having your symptoms from Anxiety than MDMA use.

So what's stressing you in life beside your symptoms, that could be a loop of your constant worrying?

It may sounds funny but let me ask you...

How do you feel when smelling hot coffee? Relaxing?
Have you tried relaxing activities like warm bath? Hot Springs?
Have you tried walking in the nature?
What about swimming?
And just practice breathing and concentrate on that and be grateful?

Please, please do me a favor and try to relax and release the build-up stress!
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http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=92700

Is there a chance that my HPPD symtoms can be caused by anxiety ?
 
imscrewed said:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=92700

Is there a chance that my HPPD symtoms can be caused by anxiety ?
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Maybe, but the HPPD matter is a little more complicated. My Visual Snow is increased much more when I'm stressed, and decreased when relaxed. If you read a lot of people get HPPD from LSD or other psychedelics, which are very unlikely to do any DIRECT physical changes on your brain. For an example recreational dose of LSD is only 100ug, which is incredibly small amount, in fact 1000 times less than MDMA one. However it still could cause HPPD.

Following this logic makes me believe there's some psychological manifestation in physical symptoms just like the LTC of MDMA.
 
What is etiology of these long term symptoms? Esepcially if this happened after the first time using? Serotonin levels are back to normal in a few days/weeks, correct? And even if not, an SSRI would theoretically help with balancing that out, no?
 
anon1644 said:
What is etiology of these long term symptoms? Esepcially if this happened after the first time using? Serotonin levels are back to normal in a few days/weeks, correct? And even if not, an SSRI would theoretically help with balancing that out, no?
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The issues with serotonin receptor sensitivity and the serotonin reserves of the serotonin releasing neurons themselves should be sorted out pretty quickly. There can be some acute decreases in cerebral bloodflow that also sort themselves out after a month or two.

What's causing the symptoms to persist, but yet be able to remit rapidly in some cases, is anyone's guess. We also know that it may not be specific to the mechanism of action of MDMA because people get these syndromes from various other drugs, and many of these symptoms are very possible without any drug involvement.

Concerning SSRIs, some people may not have too much luck focusing on the MDMA aspect - they may want to go to a doctor and look at their symptoms that they wish to treat instead. In the case of e.g. depression after MDMA use, SSRIs can be helpful for depression, and some people on these threads have had success with using them for long term adverse effects of MDMA.

All the best,
CY
 
Fuck, I feel awful again.

Is it possible that I felt good for almost a week because I stopped taking saint john's wort just before I got better? Reverse effect to feeling worse for some time after starting taking antidepressants?

Anyways, I think I also get worse after physical effort. I worked out for 1,5 hour and after that I felt much worse. It happend few times before, but I wasn't sure if there is correlation. Now I'm pretty sure. That's bad news for me, because I love sport, I used to work out regularly and I planned that it will be big part of my recovery. Anybody gets worse after effort?
 
sick_guy said:
Fuck, I feel awful again.

Is it possible that I felt good for almost a week because I stopped taking saint john's wort just before I got better? Reverse effect to feeling worse for some time after starting taking antidepressants?

Anyways, I think I also get worse after physical effort. I worked out for 1,5 hour and after that I felt much worse. It happend few times before, but I wasn't sure if there is correlation. Now I'm pretty sure. That's bad news for me, because I love sport, I used to work out regularly and I planned that it will be big part of my recovery. Anybody gets worse after effort?
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I have the same issue, used to lift weights 5-6 times a week. Now it makes me feel worse. But if I go cycling for 30 minutes and do weightlifting for 30 minutes I have no/les issues. Find a good balance. I’ve read something about the hpa axis, due to the stress of MDMA use/raving it can get into overdrive. Recovery will be when avoiding stress and letting the hpa axis get used to low stress levels. It can explain why symptoms get worse after effort. Also in some cases anxiety can get worse instead of better by doing labor. In the end nobody really understands our LTC problems and every case is a bit different. Find rest in your mind and body and you will recover.

Also I avoid all those supplements like gaba and 5-htp cause it also made me feel worse or didn’t do anything.
 
Another positive thing I keep seeing, people being off and on all the time. Which again makes me believe there's no hard brain damage. I mean let's say you have a trauma on your head, you're not gonna have it on and off, you'll be disabled constantly until eventual recovery.
 
If anyone is suffering from head pressure. I found that a 100% organic diet has helped me. I'll eat 100% organic fruit and veg for two or three days then start eating normally again. The head pressure takes around four days to leave but then they slowly come back. But I get 2 weeks of relief ! So i repeat the process every two weeks... Might sound mental but it's the only way i've found that makes the head pressure go away for a bit.

My question is though... Why do they come back? I don't get it.
 
What you can do about this finding is blacklist and whitelist products. If veggies and fruits are in the whitelist you can slowly start adding other foods. Some protein will be good, eggs, cheese, .etc
 
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