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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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Cotcha Yankinov said:
^Yup the anterior and medial scalene just on the right side thus far, the surgeon tells me there was a lot of scar tissue on them so it sounds like it was the right move. Staying overnight in the hospital now
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Any improvements on the tinnitus by any chance (due to your theory)?
 
With a lidocaine injection I had previously there was tinnitus improvement (and most people with this TOS/scalene condition have jaw pain/headaches that get better with injections) but I honestly can't tell how the tinnitus is (just got out of surgery so I'd expect a few weeks before I can really tell)

Edit - this is also just one side
 
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So i got the lamictal 5 mg. Problem is im experiencing side effects like some very mild emotional numbing/spaciness type stuff. What the hell.

Is this normal and just due to "psych med startig syndrome" for lack of a better term?
 
I'm not a medical professional etc etc but my personal advice is to try to relax, upon starting meds and titrating them up people experience various side effects, and the acute vs. chronic effects can vary a lot too, dosage related effects aside
 
Kk thats what my doc told me too that these things can sometimes make you feel worse before better as you adjust which is more well known with SSRIs.

At least no libido sides.
 
Just wanted to post an update about my conditions improving quiet a bit since my binge off ecstacy. Been about a month and a week since it all happened and my beginning symptoms of it all started at 1.) Suicidal tendencies 2.) Depression 3.) Elevated Anxiety 4.) Fatigue 5.) Depersonalization 6.) Brain Zaps 7.) Vomiting 8.) Left arm & Chest tightness 9.) Shortness of breath 10.) Palpitations 11.) Dizziness and ever since a month and a week into my recovery I've notice remarkable recovery since then. Only a few symptoms remain like Elevated Anxiety but have since been prescribed Prozac to help my intestines produce serotonin and relieve depression and I'm on day 5 of taking it and many of the symptoms have depleted almost completely but the only downside it I contracted Candida from my immune system being down and almost got sick from almost everything so had to go on a diet to try and kill off the parasite, bought some antibiotics from Vitamin Shoppe for combating Candida and improving my immune system since my stools have been clay colored which was a sign my body wasn't breaking down the nutrients I was trying to eat so a big deal not to mention I had bump on my tongue and my mouth gets fever blisters so easily compared to before taking ecstacy. But as for how I feel it's a big difference and my hopes of improvement have skyrocketed but of course the anxiousness is there none the less. Just glad things are way better than what they where before all this happened, keep your hopes up and don't give up.
 
socrilus said:
Kk thats what my doc told me too that these things can sometimes make you feel worse before better as you adjust which is more well known with SSRIs.

At least no libido sides.
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I think it was a week or two ago that someone reported getting all their emotions back with lamotrigine (recovered from DP) but all the shitty emotions came first because bad stuff was happening in their life, but anyways I wouldn't be surprised if the response to lamotrigine for complex mental health issues is complex itself and evolves over time
 
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Congrats dank! Glad your getting better and who got their emotions back with lamotrigine? Idk how I'm suppose to get my Doctor to prescribe me that since it's for seizures and bipolar..
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
I think it was a week or two ago that someone reported getting all their emotions back with lamotrigine (recovered from DP) but all the shitty emotions came first because bad stuff was happening in their life, but anyways I wouldn't be surprised if the response to lamotrigine for complex mental health issues is complex itself and evolves over time
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Well all my emotions have been back for a long time. I'm on this for my low mood and depression+in general just not feeling like myself. In particular my worst symptom is a horrible lack of motivation and well being. But otherwise technically, I have been able to smile, laugh, get angry etc for a long time. So feeling the slight emotional numbing today was quite noticeable.

Sometimes makes me wonder if the reason none of these things work right is because im past the point they will help (as in ADs work better for severe depression than what I have right now etc). But since lamictal isn't an SSRI thats why im giving it a shot. Its still weird that it has that serotonin numbing like effect though.

I really want to increase my DA and GABA levels, not serotonin.

However, I am considering adding in Testosterone next week maybe will help with the dopamine aspect of things, possibly countering this effect and helping me get more out of both things. Also, if Lamotrigine is an aromatase inhibitor, then if its lowering my borderline E2 levels then seems like that could be a problem (which would also be corrected by adding in T). But its all guesswork.

@ihatenofeeling

I believe it was "brainfog" or somebody who got their emotions back with lamictal. Its in this recovery thread probably a few pages back.

Anyways, are you even seeing a psychiatrist or are you seeing a GP? GP may not be as familiar with it as a psychiatrist.
 
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Well congrats to brainfog! I love seeing people get better! I'm seeing an actual psychiatrist I'm pretty sure. How long was he on lamotringe for if you know ?
 
4-6 months. For me, SSRI numbed my emotions more so it wasnt until i got off that they came back but since everybody is so individual its different (Amml reported his emotions coming back on SSRI)

I have also found out recently that my genes don't seem to mesh with serotonin meds.
 
Are there some good recovery stories of severe 'ltc'?

I'm really having a hard time now ... still at 2.5months I'm so acutely sick I'm laying in bed all day. I'm gagging the nausea, "dizziness" and confusion is so bad. My eyes are all messed up. I wanted to make a post about my symptoms but I'm too sick to get motivated to do that. Not every day is this bad... but now it's been two consecutive hellish ones.

If I had a pill that would put me to sleep for good I might take it now. Can something like this really heal? I fear I might be one of those too severe cases
 
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Howl it all takes time every story isn't the same and every recovery process is different for everyone and not everything is permant bud, the more you stress and worry as much as it's hard not to it'll literally slow the process down. Trust me I went to the ER twice and I hate hospitals because of what I was scared to find, found myself in a panic about thinking something severe was going on and like my wife said "It's like you want them to find something" and she was right I needed a full concluded answer to know why I was the way I was and the answer it you know why it just takes time for any wound mind, body of soul to heal. Many people have been years into recovery and have got better (not saying that's you but was in the boat of thinking it could've been me) thankfully I know what was the issue after getting of some meds to help me cope with the situation and it's like I have my old self back, have you been to the PCP or any doctor and explained to them how you feel? Always be honest of what you take and what you do or they'll never be able to fully help you. Since doing ecstacy for weeks on end and days I depleted all serotonin in my body and all I was left with was dread and misery like if nothing was real (look above at what I first started out with) now almost all is gone in the early second month of all it happening. Again your not a person who is far from recovery it's just your body regulating all the wrong, even that I'm good now I still worry about it but it's natural because all this is new to all of us and never having it happen can be scary beyond words.
 
I'm not really panicing as much as I'm starting to fear that the optimism I've had so far might be naive.

I haven't been to a doctor yet. I mean I literally can't be running to the ER. I can't really leave the house honestly. I get very confused and agitated with the extra stimulation, something IS severely wrong - this is not anxiety. My anxiety has been diminishing a little but these other things not at all. I'll write all my symptoms this weekend. I need something printed for the neurologist anyway. There is a good chance the waiting room will totally explode my mind. I've previously lost my voice and I just start trembling in those situations with bad confusion. It takes a while of sitting in a quiet room until I regain some composure.

It's now evening where I live and I feel a little better.. enough that I can enjoy watching a movie but seriously this is not a life.
 
howlowhowlstheowl said:
I'm not really panicing as much as I'm starting to fear that the optimism I've had so far might be naive.

I haven't been to a doctor yet. I mean I literally can't be running to the ER. I can't really leave the house honestly. I get very confused and agitated with the extra stimulation, something IS severely wrong - this is not anxiety. My anxiety has been diminishing a little but these other things not at all. I'll write all my symptoms this weekend. I need something printed for the neurologist anyway. There is a good chance the waiting room will totally explode my mind. I've previously lost my voice and I just start trembling in those situations with bad confusion. It takes a while of sitting in a quiet room until I regain some composure.

It's now evening where I live and I feel a little better.. enough that I can enjoy watching a movie but seriously this is not a life.
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Dude if it´s that bad you should see a psychiatrist soon. And if there´s a right place for a nervous breakdown it´s the psychiatrist´s waiting room.
 
Ihatenotfeeling said:
Well congrats to brainfog! I love seeing people get better! I'm seeing an actual psychiatrist I'm pretty sure. How long was he on lamotringe for if you know ?
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I think he titrtated up the dose over a few weeks and then his emotions started coming back, I forget if he is still on it or what the deal is there
 
rrandy said:
Dude if it´s that bad you should see a psychiatrist soon. And if there´s a right place for a nervous breakdown it´s the psychiatrist´s waiting room.
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I don't think a psychiatrist is approperiate. It's not a mental breakdown. It's that my brain can't process stuff. Extra light, noise and social interaction is too much stimulation. My eyes won't even stay still. I literally can't look at one spot they will constantly shift and move. My body sometimes spasm and twitches though it's getting rarer. I will be seeing a neurologist but honestly what can they do? Any meds will be a complete crap shoot. Might make things worse even. I lost a good chunk of a 5 year period to an ssri citalopram and a severe withdrawal/adverse reaction to it. That may have left me with a sensitized brain which may be contributing to this ltc. I don't know how much these conditions are linked. I will only take psych meds if I'm at the point where I will kill myself. Even then I might not.

Really are there no recovery stories?
 
^its not like there aren't meds that are used for both neuropsychiatric conditions and neurological conditions, there is after all some overlap there. For example, both benzos and anti-epileptics (like lamotrigine) are used for mental illness and various neurological conditions.

Of course there are recovery stories, I'm one myself, it's just that people tend to move on from bluelight after they recover, and I'm sure some of them begin to understand that spending all their time googling and researching doesn't help after a certain point.

People tend to get super depressed and hopeless and start freaking out at only a few months in when they haven't improved much, but realistically most people don't see that much improvement in the first few months.

A lot of the eye symptoms can be due to cranial nerve dysfunction, for example brain zaps from SSRI withdrawal are known to be a phenomenon of the cranial nerves, hence why they tend to occur with head/eye movement, and there are drugs like lamotrigine that can be used to success in treating cranial nerve dysfunction. Just something to think about, as there are certainly meds to be tried as someone gets more and more desperate. People seem to have success with benzos like Klonopin as well.

Hang in there. Try to relax and remind yourself that you're not even 3 months in and most severe cases tend to show improvement after around 6 months but often surprisingly little improvement before that it seems like
 
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