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MDMA comedown update

Hey indiana111, I think im late to this thread !!! I don't know if you red this thread but it's full of people like you !!!

If you need help PM me, im 2 months in my recovery!
 
Hey everyone, as most of you probably saw by me posting again i caved in and came back after a couple of weeks, thought i'd post another update.

It's now just over a month since this all happened, and I can any say I am infinitely better than I was those first terrible two weeks, however i still have a long way to go before i am 100%

My symptoms now -

Occasional head pressure/headaches - these now disappear completely when I'm distracted, and only return when i think about it

Sleeplessness - this is improving, i still wake up around 6/7am by default and some nights are still bad but i usually get around 6 hours solid sleep now

Anxiety - this has improved so much, it used to be unbearable, now I just get it a bit every now and then - usually when I'm hungry and my blood sugar level drops

Dr/dp - this has improved but unfortunately persisted, along with the brain fog. The visual disturbances are fairly minimal and i can mostly ignore them, places and people are now familiar to me, everything just looks a bit 'off' and when i look in the mirror i can't 100% 'see' my reflection (i can't describe it but I'm sure a lot of people on here know what i mean).

It's the brain fog that bothers me the most now, along with this phase i seem to be going through that pmz described (if he doesn't mind me using him as a reference) of being so bored by everything!

Knowing that my symptoms are temporary means i can easily live with all of them except the brain fog now. That's why it annoys me the most, the visual disturbances aren't effecting my life at all as i can still see just fine (and even drive, as long as I'm careful, though i should be anyway!), but my career path is really fast paced and i have to be so on the ball at all times. Luckily I've only just left uni so i can take an easier job over the summer and give myself time to rest, but I've before this happened i was really switched on and i just wouldn't feel confident going for the jobs i want right now


So yeah, this is where i am right now. I'm so surprised about the anxiety leaving so soon because i already had a long term (though mild) anxiety disorder (yeah i know, I was pretty ignorant to the effects of md on people like me). This makes me feel like I've possibly only got rid of the sort of 'excess' anxiety and that the rest is still bubbling under the surface, which is why the Dr/dp is still there. I could be wrong though, it could just be that because the anxiety itself is the only symptom i have had before i just accepted it straight away and didn't expect it to leave anytime soon, so it did and now I'm just dealing with the secondary symptoms.

Either way I'm not complaining, my day is a whole lot easier now i don't jump out of my skin when someone walks into a room!
 
Also me2point0 thank you, i have been frequenting that thread! I feel a real connection with everyone on it, like you've all become my friends over the past month.

I guess that's likely to happen when you're going through a truly awful time and no-one else can identify
 
One more thing - I should also mention the reason I'm so surprised my anxiety is leaving/has left so soon is before this whole fiasco happened i was already in a long term comedown, I just didn't realise it. On new years eve i also took a similarly large dose and a week later i started getting panic attacks and occasional chest pain. Because it had happened so long after taking the drug, and because i was both ignorant to the effects of md and already had an issue with anxiety, I put it all down to university stress and didn't do anything about it. Three months later around the time my birthday rolled round i was still anxious but almost panic attack free, so it took much longer than one month for the anxiety to leave and i was nowhere near as messed up then as i was after my birthday.

You can imagine how much i hated myself when this happened and i finally realised the cause of all my grief last term
 
hey india glad to hear from you :D
have you been eating healthy/exercising/ meditating during this period?
 
Good to know you're feeling better India, the brain fog does go away I promise you! Give it a couple of more months I reckon you'll be back on the ball. I'm on month 2 and a week and yesterday I had a date which was all day, no anxiety no nothing, my mind was completely off the subject! Recovery is imminent.

What visual disturbances are you talking about? What do you see?
 
Help! I think this mdma is meth...

Hello, my name is Tom. I am feeling some similar effects on this current comedown happening right now. I've taken ecstasy pills many times and have never experienced something like this. First of all, i was told it was molly and i snorted it, in a white powder form. It broke apart easily which is weird cuz molly i've done before is usually harder, smooth-crystal form.. I've done coke a few times before so i know the effects of that. My favorite drug is LSD though. I'm perfectly fine on it. I have plenty of experience with the basic drugs before but this is weird. I've taken brown MDMA which i believe was MDA. I've taken 2C before. I feel very uncomfortable, I can't form words in conversation. I can only say, "yeah" and I'm super wired and attentive to things. I just stare blankly at things, pupils dilated as fuuuckk. I'm thinking it might be meth. I can't sleep, I feel severely depressed. I'll be okay.. it's been about 7 hours since my last line and i'm not taking any more. It's not as addictive as coke. I'm trying to figure out what this is. Maybe it's just bad molly. I smoked weed too but once again, I've smoked and done sooo much E before. Anyway, I'm super restless and depressed. Sorry this is a wall of text but if anyone has any suggestions of what I took, please help! I'm just hanging in my room alone, drinking water, shaking my legs, staring out blankly at things. I'll check periodically for response!
 
Hello comfortablynumb95, I was just about to pm you! I must admit this week i haven't been very good with the healthy eating, I've been staying at a friends as an end of uni celebration and felt a bit silly cooking my own food, but I've been trying to snack healthily and once I'm back i will be back to a stricter diet. I have been exercising, so much so i pulled a muscle in my leg from strain and had to give it a rest for a few days, feels fine now though so i should be okay, might just have to shorten my runs/take it a bit easier at the gym, it's annoying though because exercise makes me feel really good at the moment and i'd do it all the time if my muscles would allow it!

I'll be honest, I stopped meditating because it started to actually weird me out a bit, as once i started to go into a meditative state i'd feel more dissociated and i'd psych myself out. Now my symptoms have improved more i think i should give it another shot

Thejibberman I'm glad to hear it, it's so frustrating as even having a slightly in depth conversation feels like solving a difficult maths equation at the moment! The visual disturbances are hard to describe, i used to have some similar to minor HPPD (floaters, static, photosensitivty) but they went, now it's similar to the aura you get before a migraine? (people who get migraines with aura can experience Dr/dp, it just leaves after 30 mins) I can see everything fine, but everything just looks kinda 'off'. Like I'll look in the mirror and can pick out every detail of my face but i feel like i can't see my face as a whole or properly connect with it. Places are now familiar to me but nothing is 'the same' as it was before i rolled, kinda like there's glass or a film over my eyes i can't remove?

Thats the best way i can describe it, not sure if it makes sense!
 
India111 said:
Thejibberman I'm glad to hear it, it's so frustrating as even having a slightly in depth conversation feels like solving a difficult maths equation at the moment! The visual disturbances are hard to describe, i used to have some similar to minor HPPD (floaters, static, photosensitivty) but they went, now it's similar to the aura you get before a migraine? (people who get migraines with aura can experience Dr/dp, it just leaves after 30 mins) I can see everything fine, but everything just looks kinda 'off'. Like I'll look in the mirror and can pick out every detail of my face but i feel like i can't see my face as a whole or properly connect with it. Places are now familiar to me but nothing is 'the same' as it was before i rolled, kinda like there's glass or a film over my eyes i can't remove?

Thats the best way i can describe it, not sure if it makes sense!
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Ah yes, the floaters! I knew it was going to be the floaters! I think it was you I told in another thread somewhere, that I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked (and get glasses because my other broke haha) and I mentioned many floaters so he looked into my eyes with some really swanky gadgets and told me I could possibly have holes in my retina which would need an examination from the eye department at the closest proper hospital, so I went to that a week ago today actually, and I was told that my eyes are normal, and I COULD (just like anyone else can) get retinal holes, then I mentioned a small enquiry about an eye-lid twitch I've been having and she said that was intriguing and reckons I'm more than likely going through with anxiety which is why I'm seeing the floaters. It was just nice (sort of) to know it's all anxiety, every medical professional I'm seeing is saying it's anxiety so dealing that alone is much easier for me. And ever since, I haven't had an eyelid twitch!

Ah yeah, I felt disconnected with myself a while back too. I recognise myself just as I did before now, so I'm sure you will soon too. Isn't it just so difficult to convince yourself you're not going mad? That seems to be my struggle, you (us) feel like you're going a bit mental but in reality, you're just stressed and worried. Nobody should have to go with this kind of ordeal!
 
Tomz123 i haven't tried meth (knowingly) so i couldn't tell you, is there anyone you could sit and talk to for a bit to try to distract yourself?

Thejibberman yes it was me :) I did what you said and went to the opticians, they said my eyes are absolutely fine but i am straining them through stress (I was frowning a lot) . The eye test was actually surprisingly relaxing, I wanted another! And oh my god yes, when i was at my worst i was convinced i was headed for the psych ward, I remember having a conversation over the phone with my boyfriend and crying loads because i was starting to think maybe i actually overdosed and was in a coma or something, and the whole Dr/dp thing was just because none of this was actually real. Scary shit. Luckily i managed to get those ideas out of my head pretty quickly!
 
India111 said:
I can see everything fine, but everything just looks kinda 'off'. Like I'll look in the mirror and can pick out every detail of my face but i feel like i can't see my face as a whole or properly connect with it.
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Like it's hard to differentiate between different parts of the skin/face? Like the jawline merging with the rest of your face or missing from view? Or like two similar colours seem as one almost? Like it's hard to see things in contrast. Do you also have some problems making out small youtube thumbails or instagram photos?
 
Yeah kinda like that, also when i look in the mirror i have to make a choice to either look at the left side of my face or the right, i feel like i can't look at both at the same time properly. Yet if i closed one eye and switched both eyes are able to see just fine. Also when i need to find something i get really frustrated and can't find it, then realise it was right in front of me, it makes misplacing things very annoying!
 
India111 said:
Yeah kinda like that, also when i look in the mirror i have to make a choice to either look at the left side of my face or the right, i feel like i can't look at both at the same time properly. Yet if i closed one eye and switched both eyes are able to see just fine. Also when i need to find something i get really frustrated and can't find it, then realise it was right in front of me, it makes misplacing things very annoying!
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Yeah I had this too, you could only look at details of your face instead of just simply looking at your whole face, and even when you did, it was like you weren't in the mirror! Hated it. I think all of this is just a great life lesson to proceed with joy of just being sober (and drunk here and then), yet cautious of anything that may alter your mind.
 
Also the jawline missing from view is something i always get. Feels like my peripheral vision is weird but again, had it checked out and they told me everything was fine
 
India111 said:
Also the jawline missing from view is something i always get. Feels like my peripheral vision is weird but again, had it checked out and they told me everything was fine
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We posted at the same time hahaha, you literally sound just like I was a month ago!
 
Thejibberman and scaredfirsttimer I'm so pleased you both know what I'm on about! I wasn't even sure if it was dp/Dr as everyones seems to be different
 
Well, personally I don't think it has anything to do with DR. I won't explain further because it seems like both of you are still sensitive to "distressing"(they are really not) facts about our condition :).

The migraine thing you are referring to is called "migraine aura". I used to get migraines when I was younger, now I got them every 2-3 years only. During my comedown I have felt like I was about to get that vision disturbance, like small objects would disappear from view, but I didn't get the full "aura" that usually comes about 20-30 mins before the headache. I am pretty sure this particular visual disturbance is because of reduced blood-flow to the visual cortex.
 
India111 said:
Thejibberman and scaredfirsttimer I'm so pleased you both know what I'm on about! I wasn't even sure if it was dp/Dr as everyones seems to be different
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Of course! Do you seem to get moments of overwhelmingness, I'm not sure if it's just me but I keep getting little moments where I have to breath in very deeply then slowly relax for air and my mind is going like 1000mph, however this only lasts for about 3 seconds hahaha.
 
Scaredfirsttimer haha yes it's best not to elaborate, I'm definitely in the obsessive stage (coming out of it now though) so I've decided that for now, ignorance is perhaps not such a bad thing

Thejibberman i used to get that loads but not anymore, they were like these 'adrenaline shots', almost like i'd just gone over the dip on a rollercoaster, felt weird when you were talking to someone and you got one!
 
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