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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

I'm out of my tiny oxy script now.

Definitely horrible what they are doing to chronic pain patients its inhumane. Kratom I don’t feel it. But my opiod tolerance is very high. Switching back and forth between the two is easy and it gives me peace of mind. I find I have to take the kratom every three hours though or I start to get the aches. I got a bunch of red and green powdered strains and one blend that was specifically for trigmeinal neuralgia which is the chronic pain I suffer from. I think getting comfortable with kratom is good for any pain patient becuase of the way they jerk us around. it’s like a safety net.
 
Definitely horrible what they are doing to chronic pain patients its inhumane. Kratom I don’t feel it. But my opiod tolerance is very high. Switching back and forth between the two is easy and it gives me peace of mind. I find I have to take the kratom every three hours though or I start to get the aches. I got a bunch of red and green powdered strains and one blend that was specifically for trigmeinal neuralgia which is the chronic pain I suffer from. I think getting comfortable with kratom is good for any pain patient becuase of the way they jerk us around. it’s like a safety net.
I knew nothing about kratom till a few weeks ago. I bought some powder 100g a few days ago and yesterday I got the tiny opms black bottle but they don't work that great at all. I only had 20 mgs of oxy left today and that with the kratom and I already feel wds- tomorrow and Tues I will just have the kratom and only about 60g. of the powder and 1/2 the bottle- I'm ging to suffer again - they give me so little I was on 8-10 60s a day tapered down to 120 when I moved here from the uk last month- I've been in wds 3 times now the first time was 14 days now it should be just 2 days.. I hate it.
 
I knew nothing about kratom till a few weeks ago. I bought some powder 100g a few days ago and yesterday I got the tiny opms black bottle but they don't work that great at all. I only had 20 mgs of oxy left today and that with the kratom and I already feel wds- tomorrow and Tues I will just have the kratom and only about 60g. of the powder and 1/2 the bottle- I'm ging to suffer again - they give me so little I was on 8-10 60s a day tapered down to 120 when I moved here from the uk last month- I've been in wds 3 times now the first time was 14 days now it should be just 2 days.. I hate it.
I’m sorry you keep going through withdrawals they suck! I don’t even allow myself to take extra very often anymore because its not really worth it in the end. My tolerance kept growing and I was fucking my future self over for my right now self. But I love to make myself suffer so it’s always a game to see just how much deprivation I can endure.


I have had the darkest thoughts. If I had decent veins I’d be an Iv user. If eveything wasn’t fentayl I’d be using heroin regularly. There is no shame in these thoughts (in my opinion) because the pain is so bad I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I’m not suicidal but I just suffer. Life apathy the Germans have a word for. I love the Germans they have a word for everything. lebensmüdelife=life tired

The pain is just unbearable. not treating it makes it worse because your brain learns to “do pain” and gets better and better and making you feel pain. I read a book on mindfulness and pain And how your injuries can heal but without proper pain management you can keep feeling pain.

I’ve seen that people; veterans that have killed themselves after being rapid tapered. It’s mind bogglin.
What they are doing is fucking monstrous.


kratom I was hesitant at first even though a lot of ny ex heroin friends swore by it but it stops the withdrawals I like knowing I have a fallback position



here is a cool calculator that you can pick the effect eg:: euphoria, pain, anxiety and enter your stats and it tells you the dose to take

my heart goes out to everyone in pain and the opioid crisis, this war they are waging, is just killing people with fentanyl
sometimes I just don’t understand the world everything is so cruel
I don’t get it
I feel like i don’t understand anybody maybe I’m just an idiot
 
I knew nothing about kratom till a few weeks ago. I bought some powder 100g a few days ago and yesterday I got the tiny opms black bottle but they don't work that great at all. I only had 20 mgs of oxy left today and that with the kratom and I already feel wds- tomorrow and Tues I will just have the kratom and only about 60g. of the powder and 1/2 the bottle- I'm ging to suffer again - they give me so little I was on 8-10 60s a day tapered down to 120 when I moved here from the uk last month- I've been in wds 3 times now the first time was 14 days now it should be just 2 days.. I hate it.
Juler, I saw on a thread u said u lived in UK for 5 years n got an oxy script. Was that private or NHS? Cos I've been on methadone 10 years for addiction maintenance but last few months I've had chronic pain in my legs, n I don't know what it is yet, but basically cos my methadone script is for my gear habit, I'm getting no pain relief. I've looked into oxys, but it's so rare for NHS to give em out, apart from terminal cancer pain, or a hardcore surgery, the best u get on NHS these days is dihydrocodeine, or morphine if ur on deaths door lolz. I know I'm gonna relapse if I can't get out of this pain, or do something worse. N with all the information sharing now between services, my substance misuse service tell everyones doctor theyre on meth or subutex, n doctors won't prescribe u a co-codamol or a 5mg valium for shites sake! Do u think there's any chance of me getting some proper pain relief on NHS, or is it just private? Cos I really don't think private doctors will take any benefits money as payment. I feels like I'd have better n cheaper options on the streets lolz! UK healthcares a joke
 
Juler, I saw on a thread u said u lived in UK for 5 years n got an oxy script. Was that private or NHS? Cos I've been on methadone 10 years for addiction maintenance but last few months I've had chronic pain in my legs, n I don't know what it is yet, but basically cos my methadone script is for my gear habit, I'm getting no pain relief. I've looked into oxys, but it's so rare for NHS to give em out, apart from terminal cancer pain, or a hardcore surgery, the best u get on NHS these days is dihydrocodeine, or morphine if ur on deaths door lolz. I know I'm gonna relapse if I can't get out of this pain, or do something worse. N with all the information sharing now between services, my substance misuse service tell everyones doctor theyre on meth or subutex, n doctors won't prescribe u a co-codamol or a 5mg valium for shites sake! Do u think there's any chance of me getting some proper pain relief on NHS, or is it just private? Cos I really don't think private doctors will take any benefits money as payment. I feels like I'd have better n cheaper options on the streets lolz! UK healthcares a joke
I was in the uk for 8 years and I bought all my paperwork over from my Dr in the states. Can you get paperwork- something showing your pain issues- I got one of my scripts from the local NHS pcp that way- I also saw5-6 Dr's at a time privately but I had to take the train to London sometimes twice a week. Even then you really have to confirm with them before you go that they prescibe controlled substances. I had rx boxes that I showed them to prove I was on them, it worked, the other Dr's name isn't on the rx box. It's pricey though for the private drs and you'll need to show some proof of taking it for awhile and medical records for nhs. Believe me I wish I was back in the uk now. I have gone into wds 3 times in1.5 months and I showed the Dr's here my rx boxes and paperwork and they barely give me anything. It's hell, right now for the 3rd time I'm in wds- and that kratom really doesn't work for me . For you and I both, we are between hell and a hard place..
 
Neither does kava.
Believe it or not kava popped a false positive as MDMA for me. Of course that was on the preliminary cup panel and any lab test would clear that up but it can happen. I read on Reddit that it is fairly common.
 
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Believe it or not kava popped a false positive as MDMA for me. Of course that was on the preliminary cup panel and any lab test would clear that up but it can happen. I read on Reddit that is fairly common.
I believe it actually. It happens lol!

Kavaforums there is a thread there yoy can easily serach find with key words.

This was reported, and discussed.

I think there was talk a a mediation root too.

So yes I would expect lots chatter of this ovwr Reddit too.

Thanks for reminding me of that.
 
This liquid isn't extract is it? I'd advise against using that, personally. You won't be able to feel normal kratom. That said, it's very hit or miss if you're buying it from a head shop. ALWAYS go for "green vein" and avoid red, that's just crappy brown kratom that consumers decided to try and gain a profit from. There's so much misinfo about this plant.

It's much better to get it offline. We probably can't recommend vendors, but if you'd like to PM me, I can provide you with some good ones and strains that would for sure be very effective. You could probably find plenty yourself too, but it's the niche vendors that don't show up on google searches that tend to have the good stuff.
 
This liquid isn't extract is it? I'd advise against using that, personally. You won't be able to feel normal kratom. That said, it's very hit or miss if you're buying it from a head shop. ALWAYS go for "green vein" and avoid red, that's just crappy brown kratom that consumers decided to try and gain a profit from. There's so much misinfo about this plant.

It's much better to get it offline. We probably can't recommend vendors, but if you'd like to PM me, I can provide you with some good ones and strains that would for sure be very effective. You could probably find plenty yourself too, but it's the niche vendors that don't show up on google searches that tend to have the good stuff.
I noticed your avatar. Except I'm bemused why I assume a fan would be drawn to IMO one of the worst, emptiest, vaguest photos of Barrett Isle of White 1969.

If I'm choosing a Syd Barrett avatar, it must soeak of him, to be worthy.

For example







 
Major problems with drs now. most do not go by their sworn oath.

I'm 100% on board with practicing medicine properly and if I have seen no legit abuse, there should be no issue. Your now just hurting people and making them do things they dont want to do and effecting their mental health.

This is the opposite of health care IMO.

I believe in compassionate care and going by sworn oath.

I hate hearing these stories of medical malpractice (which is the new norm).

My heart and well wishes goes out to all you suffering.
 
I was in the uk for 8 years and I bought all my paperwork over from my Dr in the states. Can you get paperwork- something showing your pain issues- I got one of my scripts from the local NHS pcp that way- I also saw5-6 Dr's at a time privately but I had to take the train to London sometimes twice a week. Even then you really have to confirm with them before you go that they prescibe controlled substances. I had rx boxes that I showed them to prove I was on them, it worked, the other Dr's name isn't on the rx box. It's pricey though for the private drs and you'll need to show some proof of taking it for awhile and medical records for nhs. Believe me I wish I was back in the uk now. I have gone into wds 3 times in1.5 months and I showed the Dr's here my rx boxes and paperwork and they barely give me anything. It's hell, right now for the 3rd time I'm in wds- and that kratom really doesn't work for me . For you and I both, we are between hell and a hard place..

You ever considered buprenorphine/suboxone/subutex, or methadone? They are much longer lasting, thus withdrawals are much less often, if at all. Methadone requires going to the clinic daily for months before they will prescribe "take home" doses by the week/month, but is dirt cheap and very easy to get on. Buprenorphine can be prescribed by specialized doctors, 1-3 months a a time, very easy to get, but is insanely expensive without insurance. Oxy is a hell of a habit to maintain, like heroin. The Golden Age of american oxycodone is long over, here, and I'd highly, strongly recommend finding another opioid, or detoxing completely. It will only get harder and harder to get prescribed.

Also, look into loperamide. It will seriously mitigate physical withdrawals. It is an OTC opioid, and very cheap. It cant get you "high" but it can straighten you out, physically, like magic. Gabapentin is a great for withdrawals, too. Also, since you're in the USA, cannabinoids can work miracles for some. Legal cannabinoids can be bought in most states, and prohibition states have black market buds that are easy to find, and cheap. Also, kratom, like others have said. I have 10+ years on and off taking kratom, so shoot me any questions you have about it, or in general

Good luck out there. Welcome to the USA
 
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Thx for the info,I'm taking immodium already which is loperamide. I tried the kratom and it really barely worked - I tried the black opms the tincture and 100 grams of the indo red powder - it was 2 days and it was all gone,and really didn't do much - I was so disappointed. I will be getting my script Thursday hope I can last.
 
The OPMS come in a blister of 5 right ? Or did you get the liquid ?
I got the 8ml shot of opms black - I did on sat - it seemed to work a little when I ran out of the oxy and I just went out today and bought 2 more 8ml shots. I took one an hour ago then I have to save the other for tomorrow then Thurs I get my script- I had the powder too red indo but it was horrible to take though I took it all - it helped a bit.
 
I noticed your avatar. Except I'm bemused why I assume a fan would be drawn to IMO one of the worst, emptiest, vaguest photos of Barrett Isle of White 1969.

If I'm choosing a Syd Barrett avatar, it must soeak of him, to be worthy.

For example







Idk man, because it's colorful and I like it? I didn't ask for a bunch of pics of Syd that I could find on google images lmao. It's my avatar and that's that. Sorry that triggers you I guess :shrug:
 
Idk man, because it's colorful and I like it? I didn't ask for a bunch of pics of Syd that I could find on google images lmao. It's my avatar and that's that.
Of course I realise you never requested that bunch of pictures but also appreciate that is not the requirement for me to be free to do so.

I was not trying to criticise or challenge you. Call lit playful connection but also because I have a long-term passion over this subject and have my many observations myself, I was curious to see the avatar for a start but also I do feel that there are so many more photos which do the man better justice I wasn't trying to actually dictate to you and tell you what you should do it was more jovial and an excuse also to show some of the images I personally might adopt if I was into avatars.

Sorry for rubbed a nerve and welcome to this forum as well I see you are relatively new.
 
I was in the uk for 8 years and I bought all my paperwork over from my Dr in the states. Can you get paperwork- something showing your pain issues- I got one of my scripts from the local NHS pcp that way- I also saw5-6 Dr's at a time privately but I had to take the train to London sometimes twice a week. Even then you really have to confirm with them before you go that they prescibe controlled substances. I had rx boxes that I showed them to prove I was on them, it worked, the other Dr's name isn't on the rx box. It's pricey though for the private drs and you'll need to show some proof of taking it for awhile and medical records for nhs. Believe me I wish I was back in the uk now. I have gone into wds 3 times in1.5 months and I showed the Dr's here my rx boxes and paperwork and they barely give me anything. It's hell, right now for the 3rd time I'm in wds- and that kratom really doesn't work for me . For you and I both, we are between hell and a hard place..
Hey, thanks for the reply. Really, has it got that bad in us ur willing to come back to this shit pit lolz?! I thought oxy n hydrocodone was king in America. And xanax. That's another thing, I've got really bad anxiety. Like it's better than it was. At one point I couldn't answer the door or even my phone to my own family, n I only went out once a month to pick up my scripts. N then I go on the mental health service that messed up my health to begin with n I think gave me these leg cramps. I already had a bad knee injury from years ago when I used to Thai box. But I went to this mental health service n gave me olanzapine, a bloody hardcore antipsychotic for anxiety. All cos the nhs are scared of benzo addiction. I don't think they're scared, I think it's all about keeping costs low. N I quickly found out xanax is only available on private, not even available on NHS n klonopin is just for people with epilepsy. Apart from private. Anyways, olanzapine made me gain a hundred lbs in less than a year and I was eating clean n working out. I stopped olanzapine cold turkey cos found out it had messed up my pancreas n my blood sugar levels were on the verge of full diabetes. N as soon as I stopped it the day I found out about my blood sugar, about 7-8 months ago, I've lost like 80lbs. So yeah, they say benzos are too addictive, no one gets them now. I get 15mg a day from my drug replacement clinic, which I've been on for years. N staying on it every year or two when they talk about stopping it freaks me out, like full blown panic attacks in the clinic. The only reason I've stayed on it the last 7 years is cos they know I'd go back to daily drinking if I didn't have it. It's just disgusting the NHS has nothing available medication wise for panic disorders. Unless ur willing to go private. Yeah, my dad was on private for years for injectable methadone ampoules. He said privately u can get pretty much what u want, even if you're an addict cos ur paying for it. Yeah, I think u probably got them cos you'd already got them in the states, so they had to carry on ur current pain treatment, if that's what ur used to. But that's how my friend managed to get prescribed 3 months xanax, was by going to a doctor in Europe, then coming back n the doctor had no choice but to print off what the Polish doctor had ordered. Yeah, the strongest medication I've been given is df 118s, u know dihydrocodeine. N that's before all this information sharing. As soon as all the different NHS services like, gp surgery, mental health services, and any drug and alcohol services started info sharing u can't get anything or tell any white lies. Cos anything u tell one service, they write or email the other services, what ur appointment was about, treatment given and all medications. Went to the doctors about legit back pain that was so bad I'd wake up in middle night n have to sleep sitting up. N cos as soon as I go to the gp for anything it comes up on their screen, 'substance dependant, methadone replacement, diazepam maintenance' n seriously when they started info sharing, this doctor looked at screen n said 'right before u ask, I'm not prescribing u any painkillers, I'm definitely not prescribing u benzos, no muscle relaxants, n I'm not even gonna prescribe u sleepers', then he just told me to take over the counter stuff. So rude man. They automatically assume ur just there for drugs now. N even tho I didn't trust them because of what they did with the olanzapine, I went back to the mental health service just to try n get a bit of extra diazepam to try n start going out more and control shakes. They told me it may be possible to give me 5mg extra, I'd asked for 10mg on top of the 15mg I was already getting, n then cos I got a copy of the letter she sent to my gp after every session I was disgusted. Every letter didn't start off about mental health issues even tho that's the service, she started every letter with substance dependant, n then listing all medications. Then I read if I let them go ahead n give me the 5mg increase, they were gonna take the whole dose over from my drug replacement service, add 5 to the 15 I get, so up to 20, then after a month or two start tapering me off. I was like forget this. I wrote to them saying to release me from their service. So at least I still have my 15mg valium a day, better than nothing. I don't trust this country's healthcare any more. I'll only go to hospital if something feels seriously wrong. U don't wanna be honest with them, cos the other services find out exactly what's been up with u. N if its something ur embarrassed of, or ur scared will affect ur medication, u can't be honest anymore so it's pointless! I've thought about going to America to stay with my best friend when I was 16 who lives in California, but if ur saying its as bad as it is here or worse now, there's not really much point, cos at least I'm able to try n get off methadone here n go on to buprenorphine. But, even though I guys get vicodin n oxys/percs in us, its not even listed in the nhs medications book I have. Not joking, if ur born here, n have not been given them before either for cancer pain, terminal cancer or surgery recovery, u won't ever get vicodin or oxy here. It's kinda sick, that the strongest thing they give u outside of hospital is dihydrocodeine, 1 fith the strength of morphine. N u only get morphine if ur maybe gonna die or you've got a horrible injury or infection. Other stuff for pain like methadone in small doses, buprenorphine patches, n fentanyl patches are only for severe chronic pain, n its rare. Oh maybe tramadol for certain types of different pain like nerve damage. N that's pretty weak. Yep, so I've got nerve damage cos of the high blood sugars, mainly in my right foot but in my hand from an injury, get 1500mg gabapentin a day. I was shooting for pregabalin cos they're much stronger, but doctor saw substance abuse on notes one day n said, we've gone as far as we can go with the gabapentin, even though I knew for a fact the max dose is 3600mg. Liars lolz! N I couldn't tell him I'd taken pregabs buying them off people. Prescribed antidepressants, but even tho they have a sleeping agent in the mix, I don't take em that often cos I don't like being sedated all day. Now I gotta take tablets twice a day for the blood sugar. Which they caused cos they think benzos are the devil. 98ml methadone a day for heroin addiction , n 15mg diazepam a day, for alcohol n benzo addiction due to anxiety. I know it's bad but I'm gonna switch over to buprenorphine, from methadone when my dose gets lowered enough. Just cos its painkilling abilities are about 10 times better than methadone, or so scientists reckon, but cos its only a partial agonist, even though its powerful, it wears off by the time u wake up the next morning, its fully not on ur receptors anymore. So I can get high on heroin again. If u don't take ur bupe dose that day. I know it's bad, but I've been using a couple times a week now the last 6 months or so, n cos of the methadone, I just feel a quick rush that wears off in a couple minutes, then it blocks any euphoria, nodding, n most of the pain relief. N to achieve just that, I have to take just a 3rd of my usual dose that day n wait till my dad's able to score for us. So. I thought rather than use my veins which took ages to heal as much as they have, I might as well be using them to get high. I know it's bad, but these doctors give u no other choice. N these people have degrees lolz. N they can't spot the coincidence between addiction n them withholding meds. Jeez, sorry for the rant, I didn't realise how much I wrote. Sorry XD I think I needed to vent haha! Seriously, wish u all the best n hope u get sorted soon enough, or already are✌️🖤 ✌️
 
I so know the feeling about the NHS tho- I was on xanax for 20 yrs since I was like 18 for helping anxiety for many reasons- anyway about 2 yrs ago the NHS just switched me to diazepam no warning with that lousy practice and said xanax wasn't approved - they had been giving it to me for 5 yrs! and then w/o my consent started tapering me down on the diazepam- it's all about the money - I'm sorry you're in so much pain and anxiety - your like me- I was an iv user too mostly coke when I was I my in my late teens and my arms were messed up too. Still have large lumpy scars.but now I have serious health conditions and I am getting such a tiny script of oxy I've been in wds 3 times this month- right now is the third time and that kratom does very little for me. I went to rehab when I was 20 and it saved my life I still don't drink or smoke pot but the amount of oxys with the private Dr's had gotten really high over the past 10 yrs. Coming to the states is worse- you really can't get anything you really need for pain or anxiety. I never took xanax to get high and never ran out- diazepam is not the same and they only have me on 10 mgs a day- just to stay alive is getting very hard these days- I don't want to suffer for the rest of my life- I really think most Dr's only care about their practices they don't care if we suffer- if I knew where to get heroin and wasn't afraid to go- I'd probably be there,but noone in the medical world gives a shit I hopefully get my tiny script tomorrow - I came over from the uk with taking 320mgs a day and they have me on 60 mg a day here.
Please tomorrow... I am tired of suffering I wish the medical community on both countries cared even a little.
 
You ever considered buprenorphine/suboxone/subutex, or methadone? They are much longer lasting, thus withdrawals are much less often, if at all. Methadone requires going to the clinic daily for months before they will prescribe "take home" doses by the week/month, but is dirt cheap and very easy to get on. Buprenorphine can be prescribed by specialized doctors, 1-3 months a a time, very easy to get, but is insanely expensive without insurance. Oxy is a hell of a habit to maintain, like heroin. The Golden Age of american oxycodone is long over, here, and I'd highly, strongly recommend finding another opioid, or detoxing completely. It will only get harder and harder to get prescribed.

Also, look into loperamide. It will seriously mitigate physical withdrawals. It is an OTC opioid, and very cheap. It cant get you "high" but it can straighten you out, physically, like magic. Gabapentin is a great for withdrawals, too. Also, since you're in the USA, cannabinoids can work miracles for some. Legal cannabinoids can be bought in most states, and prohibition states have black market buds that are easy to find, and cheap. Also, kratom, like others have said. I have 10+ years on and off taking kratom, so shoot me any questions you have about it, or in general

Good luck out there. Welcome to the USA
Nah mate, I agree the withdrawal from subutex is not that bad. But have to disagree with methadone. The wds from meth are seriously, I personally find them worse than heroin. Like heroin, yeah it's bad at times but it kinda comes in waves. Intense at times but throughout the day n nights u literally feel awful but every couple hours u get a few minutes where it calms but then waves up again. But methadone just stays the same all day for weeks, apart from when u get waves of even worse leg cramps. Yeah even small doses are terrible. I've literally seen people in rehab who've come in for a detox off 10-15ml daily. Literally, even with britlofex, u know, lofexidine, they feel terrible. N that's off 10-15ml. My dad managed to get down to 5ml a day. Couldn't get off that, so he rang up his old private clinic n went n bought ampoules. Seriously its an evil drug. Anything higher than 60ml a day pretty much blocks any euphoria n pain relief from full agonists. So once the pain relief from the methadone wears off, which it does start to after a few months, unless they keep putting dose up. N no clinic will go over a certain amount. It is a pretty bad med. Great for the first month or 2 but then not great. Liquid handcuffs mate. I'm on 98ml a day, n have to get down to 30 before they will let u switch to buprenorphine. Yeah nasty man. N oxys so rare in this country Ive only come across it twice, n took 2 80s both times. Both times regret getting drunk n using heroin that day, n being on methadone, before finding someone selling them, so cos was pretty pissed off the beer, n had two stronger opiates in my system, didn't get much off em both times. Seriously, someone needs to employ a chemist who knows what their doing to synthesise oxy all day. Yeah, just like quaaludes, won't be able to find an oxy anywhere outside of eastern Europe soon. Bad times lolz
 
I so know the feeling about the NHS tho- I was on xanax for 20 yrs since I was like 18 for helping anxiety for many reasons- anyway about 2 yrs ago the NHS just switched me to diazepam no warning with that lousy practice and said xanax wasn't approved - they had been giving it to me for 5 yrs! and then w/o my consent started tapering me down on the diazepam- it's all about the money - I'm sorry you're in so much pain and anxiety - your like me- I was an iv user too mostly coke when I was I my in my late teens and my arms were messed up too. Still have large lumpy scars.but now I have serious health conditions and I am getting such a tiny script of oxy I've been in wds 3 times this month- right now is the third time and that kratom does very little for me. I went to rehab when I was 20 and it saved my life I still don't drink or smoke pot but the amount of oxys with the private Dr's had gotten really high over the past 10 yrs. Coming to the states is worse- you really can't get anything you really need for pain or anxiety. I never took xanax to get high and never ran out- diazepam is not the same and they only have me on 10 mgs a day- just to stay alive is getting very hard these days- I don't want to suffer for the rest of my life- I really think most Dr's only care about their practices they don't care if we suffer- if I knew where to get heroin and wasn't afraid to go- I'd probably be there,but noone in the medical world gives a shit I hopefully get my tiny script tomorrow - I came over from the uk with taking 320mgs a day and they have me on 60 mg a day here.
Please tomorrow... I am tired of suffering I wish the medical community on both countries cared even a little.
I'm really sorry ur going through this. It really isn't fair n the doctors haven't got a clue. Jeez that's horrible for u. Cos I bet u thought they can just restart ur oxy n a good dose n titrate if u needed n restart your xanax once u got to the States. I really didn't think it would ever get like that in the US. Cos it was always my fall back plan lolz. I thought right I can just go visit my friend, he lives in the valley area of California, stay with him n "accidentally" miss my plane home🤣but obviously not worth doing if I'd be in the same dose or worse. Cos its just as bad for them to give u the painkiller u need, but not give u a high enough dose which can actually make pain worse. So is maybe worse than not having it at all or just as bad cos its a tease. My nan got the same problem as u with diazepam. She was on lorazepam for like 50 years, then they without warning took her off n replaced her with 10mg of diazepam. Even though she was only on 1 mg of lorazepam which is meant to be the equivalent of 10mg of diazepam, but yeah ur right it's not the same is it. And with the length of her lorazepam use, n then taking her off at almost 80 years old, just cos the government did some new law on benzos, but 10mg diaze wasn't doing it so they upped her to 15 then 20mg n she was still having withdrawal. So my mum kicked off n they put her back on the 1mg of lorazepam. But they got her off eventually a few months ago, almost like they'd been waiting for an opportunity. She got pancreatitis n had to go into hostital for it n they were only giving her something stupid like 6mg of diazepam a day for alcohol wds cos of her age n dementia. N when they released her she was still going through the shakes n stuff, n she fell n broke her hip. Then when in hospital for the hip surgery, they took her off them cos they said she couldn't do her physiotherapy if she was on them, witch I knows a lie cos how can u do physio when ur in withdrawal?!! But they released her n she carried on getting prescribed them but my mums too scared to give em to her cos my mum doesn't understand addiction even though she is sort of an alcoholic she was more a binge drinker so she think most addiction is psychological. When I last saw my nan she was asking me for some of my beer cos she's literally saying she's so bored n she doesn't get anything anymore. I feel so bad, cos she probs only has a few years left so why not just give em to her. But my mum doesn't understand cos she's never been physically addicted to anything, just psychological addictions, so her view is she's off em now so why go back on them. Yeah, people who don't fully understand, especially the doctors who are meant to, they should just leave stuff how it is, unless the person wants to get off or reduce it on their own decision. If its forced, then it's just gonna push people into worse addictions. Seriously, I know it's horrible, n I feel terrible for u cos I know what it's like wding n not being able to do anything about it. I can get heroin easy enough, my dad's got a few numbers or on the occasions he can't get through to anyone, he just knocks on the neighbours or calls a mate n they drive him a couple towns closer to London n then he can get something. Its just the fact of digging to get a vein n having to be careful not to miss, which when I do means giving it a couple weeks rest to heal, just to keep the vein. Cos I'm fed up of not being able to get properly high 19 times out of 20 n only get high that one time outta 20 when I go all day on a fraction of my usual dose of methadone, so have to feel terrible all day n then use a ridiculous amount of gear just to get mildly high n mild pain relief. I'd rather try n wait till I can switch to buprenorphine n let my veins rest for it but it's gonna take months to get down low enough to transition, n Im not sure I'll be able to hold out that long. Yeah not good. I feel bad for u tho, not being able to scores so frustrating. I heard its like between 100 and 200 dollars for one 80 oxy or like 50 for a 30 or 50 mg perc. N the blue n yellow percs, most aren't even real percs. They're actually made in illegal labs and are actually fentanyl which is 100 times stronger than morphine, n methamphetamine to stop u oding. Yeah so be careful if u get cheap percs offered to u, especially the blue n yellows. I can't believe the price in the US for oxy tho. That's terrible. I've only ever bought them twice in my life, n didn't get too much off them cos was drunk, n used earlier that day, n had my meth script too as I was on daily supervised at time. But I swear I didn't pay that much for them, yeah cos the first time I was wasted but I remember saying to the guy I could buy a gram for the same price so could have only been 40 or 50£. If I'd thought about it I would not taken them the days I bought them, I would have saved them for a day when I'd had nothing. U probably could by gear, but there's the usual risk, going to dodgy n dangerous areas, dealing with dodgy people, making sure yoy don't get ripped off, having to sort someone money or some drugs if u get a user to score for u, and then standing there wondering if theyre coming back, n then getting somewhere or home to use without being stopped by police n searched. And then if u haven't injected in a few years, u might have problems or miss the first time or two, especially if you're nervous or anxiety makes ur hands shake. I know u can always snort, or smoke it if its the right type, or even go in a muscle, but I know what it's like, u want the instant gratification u know. Amphetamines can help. Like, don't get crystal meth. That's just a labotomy in drug form lolz. But if u can get, like speed, sulfate, or adderall, even ritalin n Concerta can help with muscle pain n lack of energy. The only other thing is buying buprenorphine off the street. Methadone off the streets not worth it, cos people can water down the liquid to make more money, but it does work well for a month or two but then the dose needs to up, that's why it's bad as a pain killer. Few months relief then gone n u gotta increase dose n make the habit worse. But buprenorphine works well. At low doses u can use on top and it won't block oxy or heroin, but never start taking it until ur in full withdrawal or u can go into very bad instant withdrawal cos if there's any opiate in your brain or blood, it strips it out of u so quick u go intothe worse wds ever n can't get any relief for about 24 hours. The best way to take it is snort it, very rushy n strong euphoria if never done it before, but I heard some states stopped doing the tablets like we get here, cos people were injecting n snorting crushed tabs so they made it into a paper tab/wafer thing, but it can be cut into smaller doses. Oh n if u were to find some, u can't swallow them. If u did take by mouth it doesn't dissolve by stomach. So u can't swallow u have to let it dissolve under your tongue. Oh n I heard the fda banned subutex, which is just buprenorphine on its own, n now in most states its just suboxone, buprenorphine n naloxone or naltrexone. Made so u can't inject or snort it, have to take by mouth, n u have to take only one dose a day, cos the naloxone or trexone sits in system all day n if u try n take other opiates or extra dose, then if ur lucky it will just block it n maybe make u feel funny. But there's a good chance of instant withdrawal. Oh, that reminds me, are u able to get prescribed the extended release oxy? I know they're meant to be rubbish compared to instant but u can just crunch through the coating with teeth or crush it with something before u eat to kick it in quicker. Or, n I know u probs won't want these cos I don't think I would, but the oxys with naloxone or naltrexone, just like suboxone so u can't snort or inject u can only take one lot a day, like extended release. So u have to take more than ur dose at the same time cos its made so u can't take more than one dose a day, n can't use anything else on top. Crap I know but, you got more chance of getting prescribed cos it looks like u don't wanna misuse em
 
I get the 30 mg error so the ones with the anti abuse stuff. Of course I chew them it's really the same I prefer the regular oxys by the ears are very sticky but you can chew them well and it works out- I generally got regular oxys on my scripts in the uk - there was only one brand that had the anti abuse stuff in them, I convinced the pharmacist that didn't seem to fully dissolve so I didn't get stuck with those. I only did heroin twice and loved it of course iv it was just easier to get coke where I lived with my bf then. Long time ago but I remember it all - I have real pain issues, but I am very addictive - when I had 5- 6 Dr's a day in London. I was up to 20- 24 60's daily approx 1200-1500 mgs a day- some people on this site say that's impossible but I know what I did, I got down to 300 mgs a day before I moved here then 240 but there is no way I will ever get close to that🤣
I'm lucky I guess to get the 60 a day- I was approached by a guy on this forum who offered me 60 80's for 800$ normally 1000 but discounted if I kept with them. I was so tempted but thank god I didn't have 800 at the time plus it was probably fentanyl he quickly got off the site. I told him I'd think about it, but it would be stupid. Just hang in there I know exactly how you're feeling
 
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