• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Opioids I'm not going to die, am I? I just had ~400 mg methadone...

Well im relieved. Only posted a couple times in this thread but was watching it and waiting/hoping for the best.
Thanks Mad Dash for the update.
Good looks vedev for bumping the thread.

OP.. did you at least achieve what you were seeking by dosing that high?
Hope so, and also hope you don't risk your life for a high again. Not worth it in the long run.

-HOOD
 
Wow, so glad he's ok!

but I'm also very upset with him, how he didn't inform us saying that he's ok.
Esp all of us who were actually worried about him.
 
After all the crap I have seen this past week, this really does my heart good to see this many people were following this thread to make sure he was okay. Good job guys, I am proud of all of you. Except OP, you have some 'splaining to do! J/K you don't "owe" us anything, but I like to think of us as a big family... so I really WISH you would have thought to post you were freaking alive, you worried a lot of people. I bet you he disappears for another month lol.
 
I'm REALLY sorry, everyone. I very rarely post here, and I guess I just assumed that people knew that. I actually do remember thinking that this could be interpreted that way - in the back of my head. I should have said something; I can see in retrospect that it was really stupid to do that. I really appreciate the concern though - it's actually amazing how supportive this community is. The only other forums I've posted on consist almost entirely of trolls insulting everyone all the time. That's what I was used to. Again, I sincerely apologize.
 
razordesignz said:
These threads get more and more depressing. Someone abusing and doubling the medications intended to help you get off of drugs and you do things like doubling it for the high? Majority of the posts these days indicate psychological need due to addictive personalities, all these meds being abused are TO PHASE OUT THE TERM OF USE OF THE DRUGS, NOT REPLACE THE HIGH. Good god I want to be banned from Bluelight this site is not a harm reduction source anymore it's a source of enabling. Seriously depressing the fact you guys make joke replies...I fail to see the harm reduction anywhere in here...and why should people devote energy to some who is doubling an already high dose of methadone....obviously you don't want to embrace recovery you simply want to continue to menipulate people and society with desire to continue maintaining a high life style...honestly this forum has progressively became more and more disgusting and counterproductive quite rapidly in my personal opinion . Administration you can ban my account I have no interest in trying to help these people who don't actually seek sobriety...
Click to expand...


Opioid addiction is often lifelong and chronic. Methadone is an opioid like any other, and a strong one at that. In fact, MOST people I've talked to both IRL and on this site have said they also often save some of their dose so they can have one great day per week. It's used as MAINTENANCE as well, and this is for those who have tried again and again to get clean any way they can. You think I take extra because I don't give a shit about getting clean?? Your post is actually pretty offensive...if someone who has been severely addicted to opioids for years and you don't judge them, why would you start doing so when they start using another strong opiate??? I rarely double my dose because I HATE doing it - I metabolize methadone faster than most people, and so I am already into quite horrible withdrawal whenever I miss a day. If I have opiates near me, I always end up succumbing and taking them - even though I try my best to leave it alone. I can do this for hours, but in the meantime my anxiety builds and builds all day. I won't sleep for 5 minutes because of it. Eventually, the compulsion wins and I take it because the mental torture is just too much for me.

Maybe it would be best if you avoided those websites with users who understand how addiction works and who support each other. Your judgement of addicts without any knowledge of their history or patterns of use is not going to be helpful to anybody.

EDIT: Not that I need to explain myself to you, but I want you to know that I've gone so far as to fly across the country and live in an apartment by myself for several months without meeting anybody so I could hopefully avoid the temptation to use, and finally become completely clean. I did this TWICE - the first time for 8 months, and the second for 5 months. Even after 8 months, I had PAWS so severe I was seriously contemplating suicide daily.
 
SKR said:
^sorry to derail a little, but what is your pain condition and what meds and how much were you taking that 20mgs of methdone has, by the sounds of things, successfully replaced?
Click to expand...

I was 24 when my doctor prescribed me 100 Percocet per month for my severe migraines. Before this, I had never used drugs except for weed (which I didn't really like due to the anxiety it gave me) a handful of times. I didn't even drink (and still don't). I was the kind of person that people would never think could ever get caught up in something like this. Yet I fell in love with the percs, and began to suspect that I had always had low endorphins or something - they just made me feel whole as well as really good. 3-4 years later, I had somehow gone from taking one recreational dose of Percs once a week, to shooting heroin and cocaine, occasionally smoking crack, abusing benzos and zopiclone whenever I could get my hands on them, and trying MDMA and meth (just a couple times). A couple years later, I had septic arthritis which had to be operated on; I was on Dilaudid for 3 months or so after that - both hydromorph contin as well as regular. I don't remember what the doses were, but they were high.

Back to the methadone - one problem in particular for me is that I metabolize it very quickly, as I said in my last post. I think this is the source of the problem, because I'm usually in mild withdrawal by the time I'm ready to take my dose the next day (without even skipping anything). When I'm sick even slightly and I take my dose, I get high - all day, until it quite suddenly drops off late at night and goes rapidly toward the very beginnings of withdrawal. There is no way this is psychological, either; my pupils are as big as my head with no iris whatsoever, I start yawning and tearing, chills and goosebumps begin, and I sometimes even start sneezing uncontrollably. It's impossible for me to sneeze while under the influence of methadone, just like all other opiates I've taken. Anyway, the upshot of all this is that I actually tend to prefer methadone to heroin and most other prescription opiates. Being able to get it daily and legally obviously wipes the floor with anything I've done before. There's nothing worse than trying to hold in your puke on the bus while going out to meet your guy to pick up - then trying to find a public bathroom where you can get your shit out and IV without being caught. Then sitting in there for over half an hour because I can't hit, covered in blood.

Because of all this, methadone has never really seemed like a conventional treatment at all since it's more or less the same as anything else I've used, but longer lasting. I can shoot an 8 mg Dilly or more, and begin puking from withdrawals as early as 6 hours later. That said, it DOES keep me off other drugs and allows me to work and live better than I was before. So in that respect, it IS doing what it's supposed to be doing. However, since I'm clean for my appointments and random testing, I can get take homes - at which point the typical obsession to use kicks in because it's the same general dynamic as everything else was before.
 
Methacodone said:
pinpoint

VERY. Hope the dude is ok.

Can any mod confirm if he had logged in after the day he posted this thread on Oct 23rd?
just to be sure.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry again. I really want to thank you, and so many others in this topic who have expressed their concerns. I can definitely see in retrospect how dumb it was to ask for help with a concern like this, and then not post for 2 weeks. I'm just really not used to forums where people actually give a shit about anybody else (not that this is an excuse or anything). It does clearly show how positive this community can be for those who need help and advice.
 
mostly-human said:
I hope OP is ok.

Honestly - I can't even imagine the horror of injecting naloxone with a 220mg/day methadone habit.. Would that not be incredibly dangerous in itself?
Click to expand...

I assumed it would be. That's why I can honestly say that I'm not sure I would EVER take the naloxone in any circumstance. Like someone already said, naloxone is unfortunately not very useful when you're by yourself. The fact is, I (and I suspect most people) simply wouldn't take it while conscious, hoping and/or assuming they will be OK. I just have a hard time imagining at what point I would think to myself "OK, I've past the point of no return, and MUST take naloxone and go to the ER or I'll die".
 
HdoubleODeezy said:
Well im relieved. Only posted a couple times in this thread but was watching it and waiting/hoping for the best.
Thanks Mad Dash for the update.
Good looks vedev for bumping the thread.

OP.. did you at least achieve what you were seeking by dosing that high?
Hope so, and also hope you don't risk your life for a high again. Not worth it in the long run.

-HOOD
Click to expand...

Actually yes :/ although I paid for it dearly the next day when I had to go without my dose.
 
I just want to chime in and say I have anxiously been watching this thread, and I am SO relieved to see you've finally posted, Bomb. It's kinda strange maybe, but I became really emotionally invested in your well being. So I'm glad to see you're okay! And I want to say that I completely agree with what you said here:

Bomb319 said:
Opioid addiction is often lifelong and chronic. Methadone is an opioid like any other, and a strong one at that. In fact, MOST people I've talked to both IRL and on this site have said they also often save some of their dose so they can have one great day per week. It's used as MAINTENANCE as well, and this is for those who have tried again and again to get clean any way they can. You think I take extra because I don't give a shit about getting clean?? Your post is actually pretty offensive...if someone who has been severely addicted to opioids for years and you don't judge them, why would you start doing so when they start using another strong opiate??? I rarely double my dose because I HATE doing it - I metabolize methadone faster than most people, and so I am already into quite horrible withdrawal whenever I miss a day. If I have opiates near me, I always end up succumbing and taking them - even though I try my best to leave it alone. I can do this for hours, but in the meantime my anxiety builds and builds all day. I won't sleep for 5 minutes because of it. Eventually, the compulsion wins and I take it because the mental torture is just too much for me.

Maybe it would be best if you avoided those websites with users who understand how addiction works and who support each other. Your judgement of addicts without any knowledge of their history or patterns of use is not going to be helpful to anybody.

EDIT: Not that I need to explain myself to you, but I want you to know that I've gone so far as to fly across the country and live in an apartment by myself for several months without meeting anybody so I could hopefully avoid the temptation to use, and finally become completely clean. I did this TWICE - the first time for 8 months, and the second for 5 months. Even after 8 months, I had PAWS so severe I was seriously contemplating suicide daily.
Click to expand...

I hate when people judge those who are on maintenance but maybe still getting high sometimes. I mean even AA says this whole recovery thing is about "PROGRESS not perfection"--if you're on methadone, your life is probably a lot more manageable than if you weren't. Just because you may still indulge or fall back into your addiction sometimes doesn't mean you don't deserve #1) your spot at the clinic and #2) respect for the effort that you are making. The whole idea behind harm reduction is that we don't always eliminate the harms or stop certain behaviors completely, but the more stability we can achieve, the better. Doesn't mean we have to be perfect.
 
Yay, OP is alive and kicking! Glad you're ok Bomb, so how high did you get?
 
SayingSeven said:
I just want to chime in and say I have anxiously been watching this thread, and I am SO relieved to see you've finally posted, Bomb. It's kinda strange maybe, but I became really emotionally invested in your well being. So I'm glad to see you're okay! And I want to say that I completely agree with what you said here:



I hate when people judge those who are on maintenance but maybe still getting high sometimes. I mean even AA says this whole recovery thing is about "PROGRESS not perfection"--if you're on methadone, your life is probably a lot more manageable than if you weren't. Just because you may still indulge or fall back into your addiction sometimes doesn't mean you don't deserve #1) your spot at the clinic and #2) respect for the effort that you are making. The whole idea behind harm reduction is that we don't always eliminate the harms or stop certain behaviors completely, but the more stability we can achieve, the better. Doesn't mean we have to be perfect.
Click to expand...


Thank you! I really do appreciate it. Maybe I was a bit too hard on that guy...it just really bothers me when people assume they know everything about your life, why you're on methadone in the first place, etc. I really don't do it often now, but I certainly did when I had 4 take-homes per week! That was brutal...I was in withdrawal every other day, started retreating into bed all day like I did when on H and pills, and my overall quality of life was going down the toilet again in the exact same way as it did with everything else. The best thing for me to do is to simply go the the pharmacy every morning. I live a block away and it takes me about 3 minutes to walk there. I take my daily dose, don't even think about using since it isn't necessary and wouldn't do a thing anyway, and I feel great for the first couple hours after taking it. I'm fine for the rest of the day after that, but will still be surprisingly high in the evening or even nighttime when I boost the dose with some tricks I've learned and perfected over the past couple years. Making your stomach as alkaline as possible and taking your dose on a stomach that's empty as possible are by far the most effective. I took my dose at 8:30 am today, and it's now almost 5:30. 9 hours later, I feel strongly opiated and warm. I've always read that people on MMT lose the high very quickly and only "feel normal" when they take their dose. I mean, it's not like I feel as though I just shot H and am feeling that rush, but it certainly feels exactly the same as it would once that rush fades a bit but you're still feeling the dope. It's actually very similar to Percs.

Does anyone know if this is normal or not for being on maintenance for so long? This has always been really hard for me to figure out since being high or feeling the effect of opiates is subjective. I certainly feel like I've taken an opiate, and not just "normal" or baseline. I also know it's not psychological because I can easily tell when those effects wear off, and I DO feel normal. Then that slowly but surely leads to withdrawal. It doesn't really seem consistent with most people's accounts of what taking methadone daily for long periods is like. I really want to find out. Yes, I know I'm on a high dose (220 mg) but I still would have thought tolerance would still develop over time no matter how high the dose...if anyone on MMT or who knows what I'm talking about can enlighten me, I'd be very appreciative :)


SKR: Thanks a lot for your post as well! I don't want to keep posting over and over when replying to people because it looks like I'm spamming the topic - so I'm replying to you here! Again, thanks a lot for your concern. As for how high I got, it doesn't really work like that for me when I'm just taking more of the methadone I'm already so familiar with. I DO certainly feel it more, and for longer - into the next day, whereas my usual dose (with the few enhancements I described above) tends to fade towards nightfall, and disappears entirely overnight.

This actually reminds me: does anyone have any idea as to exactly how Diphenydramine works so well as a potentiator?? I always just assumed that it had an additive effect in terms of the nod already present since it increases drowsiness. It doesn't seem to work that way, though. If I take my methadone and wait until bedtime and take some, the distinctive opiate feeling comes back to quite noticeable levels! I know I'm not misinterpreting it or feeling some sort of psychological effect - for the simple reason that this doesn't happen if I take other pills which cause drowsiness (My clonidine for example, or another OTC sedative).
 
I understand what you mean about feeling more than "normal". I too feel wd by 24 hours after dose. If I have to go longer I start feeling pretty shitty. But when I dose I feel normal, and a few hours later I'm fighting to not nod out. I've been known to look down at what I'm typing and have the jfnflfng drnfmff type thing

But a few hours after that sort of wears off and I'm just comfortable the rest of the day (lazier than normal and can nap on demand )

During the middle of night if I wake up I don't feel great. Strangely, it was worse on a higher dose. The lower I taper the less sick I feel in the middle of night/ morning. Probably cause it's less of a change in the peak/trough. It's odd though as I had originally gone up in dose to relieve symptoms and help it last a bit longer but it never did....and now that I'm slowly tapering THAT seemed to help.

Glad you're ok, had checked on the thread a few times. I know what you mean about the temptation to take the extra take homes. The first time I was in the clinic I would drink half my extra Sunday dose every sat (they were closed Sunday so everyone had one). I'd save half so I wouldn't be sick. I had the same "knowing it's there issue". But that kind of faded over time. Last relapse I could know I had dope and leave it til tomorrow. And now I can leave take homes for days. But at one point I was eligible for 3 times a week dosing but still went everyday so I wouldn't have to deal with the temptation. That was years ago, but I understand
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top