I will never understand some peoples' will-power...or lack thereof. How does anyone become addicted to weed? It's beyond my comprehension. If a person doesn't like the effects of weed, then I fully understand...but to say you became a weed addict? I find that very hard to believe...do you tear the room apart looking for resin? Crush stems to smoke?
Addictions are easy to understand, and cannabis is very similar to other drug addictions. Why is it so hard to believe that people can get addicted to weed, which is becoming ever more potent these days as drug dealers and growers seek to get more people hooked on the stuff to profit off it?
I see it this way: many people drink alcohol socially. They might think, "I just don't understand how someone could get addicted to alcohol! I just have a few drinks with my friends to wind down"... but the rare person they just have one drink and they become a different person, they lose control and they go on hardcore benders, they just can't stop. It's not that there is necessarily anything wrong with that person, I know plenty of average people who got caught up in drugs. It's possible for people to be strong minded and have self control and wind up with drug addictions, it's almost like a disease, you need the drug for your body to function. As soon as the drug is in your system, you become a different person. Self control, common sense, logic and reason go out the window... the drug is in the front seat.
If I didn't have weed, I would become severely depressed and anxious, and I wouldn't be able to eat food without puking at first and it would take weeks to get my appetite back. I was a gym rat, but I had to take time off of the gym because I was "dope sick" and I couldn't eat. I wouldn't be able to sleep, I'd be up all night shaking. The severe rebound depression would last for at least 2 weeks, and for that time I would be bedridden, I'd be depressed over nothing for more like a month - for the first 3 days I would literally be suicidal and I'd think of slitting my wrists and shit like that - THAT IS NOT NORMAL FOR ME - and the rebound anxiety would take even longer to recover from. This was quite clearly a withdrawal and I recognized it as so: I was waiting to see the next day, throughout these miserable time periods. Eventually, I would feel great again, like my good old self who never had much anxiety or depression before I got addicted to cannabis. Except that my brain was still primed for addiction - if I took so much as one little puff after a 3 month break, I'd be a fiend with withdrawals again a couple weeks down the road.
If I was broke, I would smoke empty pipes. I would go to smoking sections in school grounds in search of roaches to hit from my pipe. I would steal from my grandmothers in order to get a hit, and I was completely out of control. I would pawn stuff from my little brother. I just couldn't handle the agony of the withdrawal, I was so desperate to get that hit and then my body would stop freaking out... I would NEVER do any of that now that I have quit weed, looking back it had turned me into a monster. You don't need to tell me I was junkie scum back then, I know damn well that I was. It was the #1 priority over anything else. There was no way you could stop me, I needed that fucking hit... and it was absolutely pointless, I never had a good reason to smoke weed. There was no medicinal reason for me to smoke weed at all, I was addicted to chasing the euphoria of the high. I started using it to experiment with my consciousness and have fun with my friends, I was never forewarned that it had addictive properties... once I realized I was hooked it was already too late. It took me years of failed attempts to finally beat the miserable habit.
Like other addictions, this one progressed over time. I needed more and more weed, I would never be satisfied. I smoked more than I could afford or than I needed to in order to stay high my whole life. It was like being a crack fiend. I would take a big oil dab. 20 minutes later I would take a big bong rip. I'd never be satisfied with how high I was, because I wasn't capable of getting enjoyable highs anymore. I had lost the pleasure of the drug completely. I was using it solely for the purpose of warding off miserable withdrawal symptoms and satisfying an uncontrollable urge for more and more dope.
I just find it weird how people don't think this can happen with weed... I've seen more than a few cases. It's more powerful of a drug than people give it credit for. My main point is that most people don't get addicted, so they think it's impossible for others to get addicted. It's generally a pretty safe drug, I'm not anti-marijuana or anything like that. I had a HUGE problem with it though, it was ruining my life. It's not like everyone who gets drunk with their friends recreationally winds up as an alcoholic... but that's exactly how it happens sometimes. It starts off as a party, before you know it their hangovers turn into 3 day withdrawals that are relieved by more booze. I know only one or two alcoholics, and I know hundreds of binge drinkers. It doesn't mean that those alcohol fiends are not out there, who would exhibit similar behaviour as I used to except they would be less functional while drunk than I would be as a pothead.
I held a job as an engineer for 6 months as a big pothead, I would chair meetings and shit like that and nobody had a clue. So long as the drug was in my system, I was completely normal. Otherwise, I would be a total wreck and it would be two months before I had recovered by about 90%. But 2 hours into my shift as an engineer I started fiending for another hit, and it would be in my mind until lunch time when I would REALLY start to freak out... I'd race my car home like a maniac to get back to the volcano, thinking about that beautiful hit the whole time, and hit it like crazy for half an hour before heading back to work, at which point I could function completely normally again, in an attempt to stay high for as long as possible so that I wouldn't hit the withdrawal by the end of my shift.
Now that I don't smoke weed anymore, these problems have been resolved. I couldn't give a fuck less about that silly plant, that consumed my life for so long and left me with serious long term effects, notably extreme anxiety that I never had before I abused marijuana. I never had a panic attack in my life until I quit weed once and for all. Obviously, abusing a powerful consciousness altering drug to this extent is going to have some long term effects on the brain. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that I was a weed junkie, it's weird how people will flat out deny it. I get that we want it legalized, but we don't have to pretend that it is always, in every case, a harmless drug and that everyone has a medicinal reason to benefit from it. Recreational use of weed? That doesn't make sense! Withdrawal? Hold on a minute! Are you fucking kidding me here?! No, is this some sort of joke! You're an utter fool to think that a powerful euphoria inducing drug can cause addiction! I was depressed and anxious to begin with, right? Except that I was not, not whatsoever to the extent that I speak of. I was not in any way mentally ill. As my addiction progressed, side effects including different forms of anxiety, psychosis, and depression began to emerge.
I mean, it's not even you who had the problem. We're talking about myself here, and I know just what my issue was. I lived through that miserable hell of having a silly, pointless addiction to a stupid weed. I was obsessed and consumed by the cannabis plant for many years, now that I don't smoke weed anymore, I'm not fiending for a hit and I am living a normal life. My life isn't perfect but I have recovered from most of the ways in which weed was fucking with my head. It was the weed that was the problem, not me. Well it was myself of course, but it was my lack of control over my weed use and the psychological and physical side effects of the withdrawal that led me to be hooked like this. As soon as I smoked weed, I would turn into a different person who lost control. Really, I wanted off the shit the whole time. I just couldn't quit, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Take weed out of the picture, give me a good few months to withdraw, and the problems would be resolved.
Luckily, I finally managed to get off it and I'm nearly one year clean. I am feeling so much better now, so that's my story of weed addiction and withdrawal. I'll never smoke that stuff again as long as I live though, it obviously fucked with my head. If you can smoke it all day long and you have no issues, then that's great. Keep it up, I hang out with plenty of stoners and I don't mind at all. I just think it stinks like shit now. Drugs have different effects on different brains. There's nothing to be proud of though, it's just a weed that gets you baked. People talk themselves up about how they can handle so much weed, like it's a boost to their ego. Who the fuck cares? There is so much more to life than a silly weed. It is highly overrated and generally unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I'm not missing out on anything, my life is significantly better without it.
By the way, it took a full 6 months for the obsession and cravings to go away. Before that, it was a constant internal battle with myself, like I had a split personality and I was always confused. Am I quitting the dope? Should I get back on the dope? On one side, I was only "taking a break" so that I could enjoy weed again after I went through the hell. On the other hand, I was beating that harmful pest to a bloody pulp and saving my soul from one hell of a bad habit. The voice of reason eventually prevailed.