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Opioids Going to kick the opiates. This is my log. Please help with advice and encouragement

haha thanks bro.

But I actually don't think my self-image is that negative. I'm actually curious what parts of this thread even lead you to believe that? I hope it wasn't the part where I call myself hideous in the beginning caus ethat's just my crazy sense of humour. Other than that, not quite sure what lead you to believe that but again, thanks for the adv ice man.
 
KoreyS said:
haha thanks bro.

But I actually don't think my self-image is that negative. I'm actually curious what parts of this thread even lead you to believe that? I hope it wasn't the part where I call myself hideous in the beginning caus ethat's just my crazy sense of humour. Other than that, not quite sure what lead you to believe that but again, thanks for the adv ice man.
Click to expand...

I understand not having the money to pay for prescriptions, but there is always a way you just have to look. I mean hell, living in Canada you should be able to find someone affordable to see. I admit I don't fully understand the healthcare and medical laws in Canada, but if what everyone in America says is true -- you guys have it easy. I'm always hearing how great Canada's healthcare is, but I take it with a grain of salt considering nobody who says that has actually lived there.

Try to find a cheap clinic to go to in your area. There are tons of little clinics where doctors will occasionaly see you for the minimum possible charge if you don't have healthcare, though atleast in the US it can be a few days wait to be seen.

Suboxone and Methadone programs are extremely expensive, but a trip to the doctor to get a 2 week script of something to help you fight off the cravings and reduce the WD symptoms should be attainable, even if you are literally broke. There's always a way... swallow your pride and ask a friend or family member for a loan if you need to, go pawn some crap you don't need/use anymore, donate plasma, etc.

If you continue to relapse again and again it may be time to take the next step and get some help. I've been there, broke and dope sick with not a dollar to my name. I couldn't afford rehab, I couldn't afford to see a Suboxone doctor or pay for a Methadone clinic so I tried cold turkey. I was coming off about 160mg of oxycontin, countless percocets/lortabs, and heroin and I just couldn't take it so I borrowed a little money from a friend, pawned some useless stuff and went to the doctor.

It comes down to how bad you want to stop. Once you're at that crossroads you sometimes have to take extreme measures to get the help you need. Going it alone is admirable, but if you keep slipping there are people willing to help.
 
DeadheadChemistry said:
I understand not having the money to pay for prescriptions, but there is always a way you just have to look. I mean hell, living in Canada you should be able to find someone affordable to see. I admit I don't fully understand the healthcare and medical laws in Canada, but if what everyone in America says is true -- you guys have it easy. I'm always hearing how great Canada's healthcare is, but I take it with a grain of salt considering nobody who says that has actually lived there.

Try to find a cheap clinic to go to in your area. There are tons of little clinics where doctors will occasionaly see you for the minimum possible charge if you don't have healthcare, though atleast in the US it can be a few days wait to be seen.

Suboxone and Methadone programs are extremely expensive, but a trip to the doctor to get a 2 week script of something to help you fight off the cravings and reduce the WD symptoms should be attainable, even if you are literally broke. There's always a way... swallow your pride and ask a friend or family member for a loan if you need to, go pawn some crap you don't need/use anymore, donate plasma, etc.

If you continue to relapse again and again it may be time to take the next step and get some help. I've been there, broke and dope sick with not a dollar to my name. I couldn't afford rehab, I couldn't afford to see a Suboxone doctor or pay for a Methadone clinic so I tried cold turkey. I was coming off about 160mg of oxycontin, countless percocets/lortabs, and heroin and I just couldn't take it so I borrowed a little money from a friend, pawned some useless stuff and went to the doctor.

It comes down to how bad you want to stop. Once you're at that crossroads you sometimes have to take extreme measures to get the help you need. Going it alone is admirable, but if you keep slipping there are people willing to help.
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Just to clarify, doctors visits do not cost money in Canada - it's the prescription medication that does.

This isn't something I need to seek medical advice for. It has not reached that level at all yet. I don't feel there's any reason to see a doctor for this. I think I mentione dthat in the initial post. Or maybe I didn't. Thanks for the advice though.

On another note, waking up to day 2 and not feeling so bad. Got some work line dup today that I'm going to shortly.
 
KoreyS said:
haha thanks bro.

But I actually don't think my self-image is that negative. I'm actually curious what parts of this thread even lead you to believe that? I hope it wasn't the part where I call myself hideous in the beginning caus ethat's just my crazy sense of humour. Other than that, not quite sure what lead you to believe that but again, thanks for the adv ice man.
Click to expand...

Even that sense of humor is putting yourself down, whether you realize it or not. That "crazy sense of humor", is not healthy, nor the norm for people who aren't abusing drugs like you are. You feel bad/ashamed/guilty because of your drug addiction, and by extension belittle yourself. Calling yourself a hideous male, joking, not joking, is putting yourself down quite a bit. Don't ever talk badly about yourself: if you believe it/joke about it others will too. And theres already 6 billion people on the planet who might be giving your shit, no reason to be 6 billion + yourself.

No need to put yourself down when theres plenty of people out there willing to do that for you.
 
Matter'a fact I ain't sorry for shit. I take that shit back. It is what it is my nigga.
 
DooMMooD said:
Even that sense of humor is putting yourself down, whether you realize it or not. That "crazy sense of humor", is not healthy, nor the norm for people who aren't abusing drugs like you are. You feel bad/ashamed/guilty because of your drug addiction, and by extension belittle yourself. Calling yourself a hideous male, joking, not joking, is putting yourself down quite a bit. Don't ever talk badly about yourself: if you believe it/joke about it others will too. And theres already 6 billion people on the planet who might be giving your shit, no reason to be 6 billion + yourself.

No need to put yourself down when theres plenty of people out there willing to do that for you.
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I've known Korey for many many years and he is up there as one of my best friends. I can assure you you're looking too deeply into this. I understand your encouraging words & compassion. But Korey is one of a kind & to be taken light heartedly when he begins to rag on himself.
 
I took a small dose of PST, not enough to get high. Just took it cause it was around last night. Took my 16mg of my loperamide and I did my work today. I feel great guys.

I believe I can flyyyyy
I believe I can touch the skyyy
EVery day and night
Spread my wings and fly very high

*smiles hideously*
 
Very glad to hear that it sounds like things are starting to go better for you. :)
 
^ I hate to say it, but it's hard to find much help in the Megathread. I avoid it too. Posts tend to get lost in there and many go ignored... it's not the best place for ongoing help/support/encouragement while you're kicking - if that's what you're looking for. I've found it beneficial just reading it in the past while I was kicking, however, so it serves a purpose. :)

@ OP - I'm about to start kicking as well, I have one shot left and then I have to be finished. It's a mind-blowing concept to think about, knowing I only have one more shot left ever. Well, at least for next four months... but I'm hoping that if I'm sober for four months, I won't be stupid enough to relapse. *crosses fingers* lol. I've kicked before in the past though so I know what you're going through, and I'll be right there with you soon enough :/ Withdrawal is a bitch indeed.

On that note some of the posts in this thread are pure comedy hahaha
 
xburtonchic said:
^ I hate to say it, but it's hard to find much help in the Megathread. I avoid it too. Posts tend to get lost in there and many go ignored... it's not the best place for ongoing help/support/encouragement while you're kicking - if that's what you're looking for. I've found it beneficial just reading it in the past while I was kicking, however, so it serves a purpose. :)

@ OP - I'm about to start kicking as well, I have one shot left and then I have to be finished. It's a mind-blowing concept to think about, knowing I only have one more shot left ever. Well, at least for next four months... but I'm hoping that if I'm sober for four months, I won't be stupid enough to relapse. *crosses fingers* lol. I've kicked before in the past though so I know what you're going through, and I'll be right there with you soon enough :/ Withdrawal is a bitch indeed.

On that note some of the posts in this thread are pure comedy hahaha
Click to expand...

So what exactly do you men you when you say "It's a mind-blowing concept to think about, knowing I only have one more shot left ever."
 
KoreyS said:
So what exactly do you men you when you say "It's a mind-blowing concept to think about, knowing I only have one more shot left ever."
Click to expand...

Well I've been dependent on heroin for so long, and now I can't be. I had one shot left to finish, which I just did, and that's it for me. I'm done - now I have to start kicking. My other option is to be homeless. And that's not really an option at all, because being dependent on dope while having a roof over your head is bad enough. It's just a mind-fuck to know that you no longer have the option of relying on something that you've relied on for so long... and that you have one more time to do it, then that's it. I don't know how to explain it really... that's why it's so mind-blowing lol.
 
xburtonchic said:
Well I've been dependent on heroin for so long, and now I can't be. I had one shot left to finish, which I just did, and that's it for me. I'm done - now I have to start kicking. My other option is to be homeless. And that's not really an option at all, because being dependent on dope while having a roof over your head is bad enough. It's just a mind-fuck to know that you no longer have the option of relying on something that you've relied on for so long... and that you have one more time to do it, then that's it. I don't know how to explain it really... that's why it's so mind-blowing lol.
Click to expand...

Right. I just wasn't entirely sure what the reason for only having one last chance to kick was. And now I'm assuming it's because you're facing eviction of some kind I guess? Not any of my business I guess.
 
No worries; I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't want anyone to know about it! That's the thing with Bluelight, it's the one place where I refuse to censor myself or act like I have something to hide. Could be why I like it so much and can't ever seem to ditch the place :p

You pretty much hit the nail on the head though. I'm beginning an IOP soon, and they drug test three days out of the week. Plus I have to show up almost every day (6 days a week) for the next four months. Needless to say, screwing around in this program will NOT be an option. It's also my last chance. I can either do this program and be successful at it, or I can find a nice comfy spot on the streets to live. I figure if I have to do it anyway, whether I like it or not, I might as well choose to like it and put my all into it - "you get out of it what you put into it" and all that jazz. I've just gotta have faith that it will be enough for me to get it right this time.

Regardless, I have a few days of kicking to look forward to. However, I'm definitely hella grateful that I have a few things to make it easier (like a roof over my head!)... and benzos. ;) Among a few other things that will make it a bit more comfortable, if only slightly - Immodium AD, Advil, Seroquel, and a couple Neurontin pills. I also have Suboxone, which SHOULD be my # 1 life-saver... except for the fact that I only have one and a half of the 2 mg tablets, and only one of the 8 mg films. Still, I suppose it's better than having no Suboxone at all, and I should be alright if I hold off on taking them for tomorrow (which, if any luck, the Seroquel will help me sleep through anyway). Then I can take the 2 mg I have on Day Two, save the 8 mg film for Day Three which is always hell, and take the other 1 mg on Day Four.

I'm pretty much planning this out as I go along and write this by the way, so don't mind me and my tl;dr post.

But how are things going for you? Sorry for jacking your thread, how incredibly rude I'm being. I think I read that you drank some tea yesterday, so I guess that would mean you're on Day One... and a half? Or something like that, depending on what time you took the tea yesterday, of course. How are you feeling?
 
xburtonchic said:
I figure if I have to do it anyway, whether I like it or not, I might as well choose to like it and put my all into it - "you get out of it what you put into it" and all that jazz. I've just gotta have faith that it will be enough for me to get it right this time.
Click to expand...

Glad to see you are going into it was such a positive attitude, that's always key when fighting addiction. Too many people fall into the trap of being too hard on themselves and then end up using more in the long run because of it.

The best of luck to both of you guys. <3
 
Thanks, bronson. It's definitely not easy, but I agree that a positive attitude is essential. Lack of a positive attitude has been a precursor every single time I've relapsed. I'm determined to hold on to it this time, no matter what.

And ditto - I wish you the best of luck with this too, KoreyS. Don't be too hard on yourself, because from reading some of your posts, it seems like you are at times!
 
xburtonchic said:
No worries; I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't want anyone to know about it! That's the thing with Bluelight, it's the one place where I refuse to censor myself or act like I have something to hide. Could be why I like it so much and can't ever seem to ditch the place :p

You pretty much hit the nail on the head though. I'm beginning an IOP soon, and they drug test three days out of the week. Plus I have to show up almost every day (6 days a week) for the next four months. Needless to say, screwing around in this program will NOT be an option. It's also my last chance. I can either do this program and be successful at it, or I can find a nice comfy spot on the streets to live. I figure if I have to do it anyway, whether I like it or not, I might as well choose to like it and put my all into it - "you get out of it what you put into it" and all that jazz. I've just gotta have faith that it will be enough for me to get it right this time.

Regardless, I have a few days of kicking to look forward to. However, I'm definitely hella grateful that I have a few things to make it easier (like a roof over my head!)... and benzos. ;) Among a few other things that will make it a bit more comfortable, if only slightly - Immodium AD, Advil, Seroquel, and a couple Neurontin pills. I also have Suboxone, which SHOULD be my # 1 life-saver... except for the fact that I only have one and a half of the 2 mg tablets, and only one of the 8 mg films. Still, I suppose it's better than having no Suboxone at all, and I should be alright if I hold off on taking them for tomorrow (which, if any luck, the Seroquel will help me sleep through anyway). Then I can take the 2 mg I have on Day Two, save the 8 mg film for Day Three which is always hell, and take the other 1 mg on Day Four.

I'm pretty much planning this out as I go along and write this by the way, so don't mind me and my tl;dr post.

But how are things going for you? Sorry for jacking your thread, how incredibly rude I'm being. I think I read that you drank some tea yesterday, so I guess that would mean you're on Day One... and a half? Or something like that, depending on what time you took the tea yesterday, of course. How are you feeling?
Click to expand...

Well I've decided to fuck counting days, because, like you mentioned, I drank some last night. However it was maybe 1/6th of the dose I usually take and did not get high from it. I had no real intention to. I guess you could say it was fairly pointless considering I wasn't experiening a whole lot of withdrawls brfore that in the first place. It was just sitting around from a previous dose two days earlier. It's ben 3 days since getting high. I have very little withdrawls.

After doing some extensive research on loperamide, and experimeting with it firsthand now, I'm convinced it has amazing potential at relatively high doses for opiate withdrawl. I think it helps beyond just the farp-pipe leakage. I am taking 16mg every 12 hours which is far more than it recommends. However some people have reported taking mor ethan double what I'm taking every 6 hours! It feels so good to have my fart-pipe clogged up so I don't have to expel putrid fluids from my gaseous abyss every five minutes.

I am incredibly sweaty and slightly restless right now. other than that, my mood is fine. I can only hope that your experience is a fraction of how easy mine has surprisingly been. And don't worry about hi-jacking my thread. You can come by and give me updates as much as you want and I will do the same. In fact, I encourage you to.
 
Good job dont give up ive done it a couple times, pound imodium like its going out of style
 
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