^ i hope youre right...you dont need to take a few months off, i dont believe you would do that anyways..just buy a bag or 2 on fridays and get high and dont buy it again until the next friday..if you set the rules for yourself then all you have to do is follow them and by doing this you hopefully have a guide and can follow it to saty on the right path..like my rules about not getting high until 6pm, i think only once have i did dope to get high around noon and that was cause i met up with someone from here for the first time and we went and bought dope from both of our people so we could switch bags and try the others out. i know we met up around noonish copped from both of our guys and then just went back to his apt to get high and we sat around all day blowing blunts and bags of dope. but im pretty sure that happend only once and besides that day i wait untilo 6pm before i start blowing lines. i used to not even allot a little to get the sick off but now i generally wait til 2pm if possible no matte how sick i might be. but also not using back to back days and if i happen to use back to back, never using 3days in row. thatrs the easiest way to blow your tolerance out and you might have to spend more money from there on out. and there are a few others and like i said they are just personal rules i came up with from the experiace ive come across with other people. seeing how guys wake up so sick in the morning that they will sit in morning rush hour traffic to go score all before 8-9am and its all thanks to the needle. i use dope to get high only once perday but people who need to use first thing in the morning are needing to use 2-3x per day and thats just a waste of money.
so set some rules up and follow them for yourself and if you stick with it,m you will never have a habit and you can use whenever you want. but you have to follow your rules..its that easy but its so hard..like i said i made the mistake by going by how much money i was spending and not how many times a week i was using,i was sellin weed at the time and so i was all about money, i stopped drinking cause i didnt want to get pulled over and risk a dui, so i would pop some norks and drive around allnight on friday and not have to worry about the dui and that was the differance from me chipping to me being an addict. since i stopped drinking i had extra spaces to fill up in my day and whatbetter way to do it aside from drinkoing a few beers, then well poppin a few pills. i never nodded hard on norks but it gave me a great buzz and i idnt have to worry about getting a dui for alcohol..that was the worst mistake i made, i should of just had a couple beers instead of going down the path and seeing whatelse there was to do for fun.
I cleaned out the back seat of my car and found 2 tiny ziplock bags of weed. I don't smoke, so the only thing I can think is a d-boy jumped n the back of my car to serve me and dropped them. Sold them to my little sister for twice their worth. She likes Glenn Beck so screw her! LOL
Good thing pot is decriminalized because if I got pulled over, the cops woulda found those in the passenger side back seat complete with all of my garbage: pop cans, mcDonalds cups, empty cigarette packs, bum lottery scratchies, mapquest directions that have been quested, etc... A pile of mishmosh. And then what would my excuse would have been? Oh--my dope dealer was in the back seat and dropped it?! I lent sister my car? Just glad I found them...
Gwen
when i was dealing i would always bring out a half oz and my scale, i never prebagged anything, sure they could of hit me with dealing wit hthe amount and scale but it never happend the 2x i got pulled over with the scale..but anyways i once had the sack in the door of my car, like just the little door pouches and i went into bestbuy and left and i dont know if it was when i first stepped out and closed the door or if it was when i came out the store but i drive away and get a call and then i realze the weed is gone, so i drive back and sure enough the weed was gone..i was on my hands and knees looking under the cars and everything..i just dont know if it happened when i first got out at the store or when i came back and left...someone got lucky and found at least a quarter of some good ass weed in the parking lot of a best buy, i was so piand it was about the money i lost it was because i really dont know where or how i lost it.
retiring from team nod for the night. and what a beautiful night that was. my main dude's stuff has fallen off in the past week or so, so i bought my other dude who i owed money some shit from foot locker to get hooked up on a jab. what a sweetheart for accommodating me, plus the shit he sold me tonight ended up being closer to fire than i've had in a month or so.
but after this most recent run i have to get it together in the life (specifically, employment) department. pissing my family off too much, arousing too much judgment and suspicion, irritated with my selfishness and lack of empathy beyond belief. it's time to stop living in a goddamn bubble for a good while. i'm not sure if i want to go back to the NA(zi) meeting i've been attending semi-regularly since late april, or if i should go back to my psychologist, or if i should just deal with it myself. i can deal with the physical aspects, but the emotional and psychological shit is what really brings me down. my fear is my tendency to retreat, as my ex rather astutely pointed out, when what will make me feel better is to re-involve myself with things and people that bring meaning into my life. lord knows i need it.
chicago takes drugs in psychic defense...
hell when i was in businesss, i would get calls everyday asking if i wanted to trade and generally my rule is if youre using a credit card then i wanted twice as much worth of goods, instead of the cash..especially cxause back then we didnt really have credit cards yet, and those of us who did was my rich friends and it was their paretns card and they didnt care. they knew we could just go to the mall and i can pick out some new shoes or a pair of jeans and like i said whatever the total was i would cut it in half and give you weed that matched that price. this would happen almost everyday, at least 3x a week everyweek and generally from the same person but there was a few others and like i said they didnt care about the price cause they wernt payin the credit card bill. and i would do this cxausei not only did i get twixe as much value on the sack of weed, i was already getting it even cheaper, and so if i spent 100bucks and owed someone 50, i still was malking money cause i still got the weed at about half as much as i paid..so if i spent 100bucks on the credit card and owed my friend 50 buck worth of weed i still only paid 25 for it orginally. 4-1 on your investment aint to bad..
I dunno wrecklesswot i have a few friends who did it on the weekends and never had a problem. They got bored with it after awhile and quit. While i ended up addicted as fuck. It just depends on the person. If i remember correctly only like 5 percent of people who try heroin get addicted.
that was me, when i used pills i never got sick cause i only used on the weekends gernally..then my tolerace slowy crept up on me and so i switched to dope and for a while i still didnt get sick cause i was able to buy a half jab and get high off of it 2-3x/week, thats how i got hooked, when you can get high 2-3x for the same price that wouldnt have been enough to get you youre pills to get high, you start to use 2days in a row or every couple days. and before i knew it i was using 4-5x a week and it was still cheaper then buying pills. and when you start using like that you screw yourself..i looked at it from a money perspective and not how many days a week, i figured even though i was using 2-3x as much as i did with pills, i was still spending less money then if i just bought pills once that week. so why argue about how many times i got high this week when i still spent less money then i would have if i just bought some pills abd got high only once that week and that was the dumbest thing i did. i guess the smartest thing ivce done so far is not once have i touched a needle, i know some of yall might not belive that 9-10years of opiate use and abuse and never once picked up a needle "to try just once".. now dont get me wrong ive been there a few times when someone pulls one out and asks if i wasnt to try and then i tell them i never tried it, not once and generally they wont even let me use it if i wasnted to. everyone who finds out generally is supportive and wants to know how i not oncetried it and really i dont know how to answer it. its just knowing that i would regret it especially cause everyone whop does shoot up and i tell then i dont they always say "really?, well dont cause i wish i never did" everyone says that to me and when i thin kabout it myself i think "you have been offered to use a needle hundreds of times and always said no, why start now?" and that genreally happens when im really broke or got my money tied up in something else and have like 1 bag of dope left or just a little raw left and i want to get high but i dont. ive pretty much stopped everything, like i was using every other day and needed almost a gram sometimes and now ive been buying like a .6 and using .4 and get high and then stretching out the other .2 as long as i can. and that has led to me buying dope only twice a week. and i think, why couldnt i do this a year or 2 or 3 ago? i think about all the money i spent and wasted cause my tolerance got so up there. i would take a break for a couple weeks and my tolerance would drop and i was able to go back out there but after a few weeks my tolerance wou;ld slowly creep back cause i would start using everyother day like i did before, instead of now where i just use enough to keep the sick off but not get high. by using this method for a couple weeks, my tolerance actually dropped by itself even though i was technically using everyday.
