At the stage where I'm not really craving.Now the regrets have come in.The years wasted on gear my oldest is 11 and her growing up seems like a blur.Also the money I have spent on gear in 27 years how much have I spunked well over 200 000 pounds and dollars.I functioned on brown It kept me at home not out in a hotel with mates snorting drinking get escorts to rooms and cheating on wife.Truth be told I still love gear even after all the shit I went through I still love brown.But it's a cunt in divorce.But clean life is better it lets you get back to normal things.
How you doing my friend how are your pain issues.You right I should look at what I have done.Im clean not craving much and enjoying my life.But the regrets are there now.Times I've nodded out on the sofa with a drink in my hand wife having to put me to bed.The time missed with kids not going places with them b3cause I could be home alone smoking gear.I feel like I woken from a blur and ended up a old man.I was watching better call Saul on Netflix last night in the light of the laptop saw my beautiful wife who I been with since 15.I must have given her so much grief.I used to say to her all the time if you want to leave you can I'll give you everything the house business with cousin bank accounts.She stood by me I got everything a man could want so why can't I be happy with that.There are kids who go sleep hungry here I am being a knob about my life.On q happier note me mGet that negative feedback right out of your head. You just focus on now. Like how amazing you are to your family and what an accomplishment this truly is. That's what you need to keep on replay. Ok?
You have no time for that bullshit regret. You are living your life, and don't let anyone or anything come in the way of that.
I bet your family love the new you my dear friend!!
Love and support to you always, and always very proud of you,
your friend,
Ash.
That is the biggest buzz now I don't have to do something I not physically addicted to any thing.I can go on holiday anywhere not just India because I couldIt sounds hard, but if you put it like this:
"I just don't have to do something"
It become easier to bear.
Get gear there I am freeThat is the biggest buzz now I don't have to do something I not physically addicted to any thing.I can go on holiday anywhere not just India because I could
You was my lifeline remember if you ever need anything you just have to ask
How you doing mate hope all is good.What you been up to ash how's your pain management going.Just being your friend is enough.
Keep up the good work my man.
Ash.
How you doing mate hope all is good.What you been up to ash how's your pain management going.
How you doing ash.I am always amazed how much someone I have never met means so much to me.Once im back in the States I will have you come t6o California and meet me and my family I will pay for it and I know the perfect time.My wife has got the most stupidest fucking idea in her head of renewing our wedding vows.She wants my family to see it because my dad had made my family boycott our wedding because I was marrying a white girl.I can think of nothing worse but this is what happens when you. fall in love with a American girl.I will do it for her because she my everything.Hello my dear friend,
I was just thinking of you, getting ready to ask about you and your lovely wife, and here you are!! Isn't it funny to have a good friend but have never actually met? You are you know. A good friend of mine. I hope you know that.
I am pretty good, my pain management is going well, but the climate is so against pain patients here, it's quite sad actually, oh well, I better toughen up, I don't see that changing for the forseeable future.
What have you been up to today lately Yuba, besides staying out of trouble of course. ; )
Love you,
Ash.
How you doing ash.I am always amazed how much someone I have never met means so much to me.Once im back in the States I will have you come t6o California and meet me and my family I will pay for it and I know the perfect time.My wife has got the most stupidest fucking idea in her head of renewing our wedding vows.She wants my family to see it because my dad had made my family boycott our wedding because I was marrying a white girl.I can think of nothing worse but this is what happens when you. fall in love with a American girl.I will do it for her because she my everything.
I would love to have you there so thats set.You will meet two sets of families.My wife side are normal my side are fucked all the men my dad brothers are either recovering alcoholics or pissheads all live a functional life like me but all addicted to something.I hate being the centre of attention.My wedding day was torture but at least I knew in a few hours I could finally sleep with my wife.My wife would not sleep with me until we married imagine being a teenager addicted to crank which made me horny as hell and my wife girlfriend at the time not giving in to my begging.After the day from hell what ever you fancy doing we will do.I would proudly come to your renewal of your vows. I think that is a great idea, and your wife definitely deserves that. As do you.
Look how far you've come, I couldn't be happier for you and your whole family!!
here for you always
your friend,
Ash.
P.S, I mistakingly signed my name as ASS before instead of ASH....lol...bahaha!! One of those days Yuba!! ; )
My wife knows how much you helped me she is fine with it.I make my family sound bad but you will see our punjabi hospitality we treat guests like gods.She will chat too you before.Ash this vow thing is such a bad idea its not me at all but wife is into it.Are we just going to repeat our wedding vows or will she get the bright idea to write our own.Im so stoned right now and this vow thing doing my head in my old man will take the piss.That all sounds fine to me, as long as your wife is happy and okay with me coming I'm happy and would of course come to be there.
You can pm me details when you have a date and time chosen. If your wife would like to chat with me first or at any time I will give you my contact information.
your friend,
Ash.