I am getting better man! Today is my 5th day just on the subs, and with the help of a smart recovery meeting, some exercise & meditation, I feel like I'm getting better. Why do you conceal the fact you've lapsed, man? This whole thread and everyone in it are here to support you man, don't feel like you have to hide it from *us*. We are the ones who understand, remember? We've been there with you. We aren't your wife and kids dude, we aren't gonna judge you! How many days clean are you now, man? How are you feeling, generally?