Hey guys,
So I have recently been wanting to have an ego death while tripping. I am not satisfied with who I am, and I want to be someone else. From what I understand about ego deaths is that they strip you of who you are and you become a new person afterward. Now, I believe that who you become afterward is who you are supposed to be in that current time in life. I've always been a believer that you can be who you want to be when you want to be. So, before you guys say anything, I understand that what I want to be done I can just do on my own sober. However, the problem I have with that is that it would take too long. If what I want to do works, then it can happen instantaneously. So, I want to induce an acid-ego death.
The reason I'm doing this is also tied to my last trip where I came close to having an ego death. Literally, I was having such a bad trip that I passed out for no more than 2 seconds. Instead of just laying there, accepting I was 'dead', I thought to myself I could still live. I don't have to accept death just because I 'jumped off a building'. (I was convinced what I was seeing was an illusion and that I was really on top of a building, tripping, about to fall off if I crossed a certain line on the ground. Needless to say, I convinced myself I did fall off that building and die.) So, I held on and kept telling myself to not give in or I would die and I had to stick it out for the rest of the trip in the hell I was in (I was at a party in the middle of nowhere and I had nowhere to go or I would get lost). So, I basically prevented my own ego-death but I still got close because I literally felt what it was like to die.
Anyways, now, for personal reasons, I want to become this whole new person. So, I came up with this plan. What I have been doing is I have been doing a lot of self-reflection. I have, in my mind, an image of who I want to be. The qualities I wish to have, the person I want to look like, and the values I wish to possess. I have it all in my mind. So, I have been creating a word document of who I want to be, going through all the fine little things and covering it in extensive detail.
Now, in order to do that, I have to know who I am. So, I have also been creating a document of who I am. I cover every small thing about myself. I have been doing an extreme amount of self-reflection. I have been doing a lot of self-reflection for most of my life so it's not hard but I took it up a notch. I'm thinking about making a document of who I don't want to be.
What I want to do with all of this information is put it all in my trip. I am going to record myself reading every word from these documents and I am going to sit in a dark room and just listen to my own words. To start, I am going to listen to the 'Who am I' document which will force me to think about myself to such a degree that I may have an ego-death. I say may but I have a backup plan. If all else fails, I'll take more acid or smoke a lot of weed since that makes me paranoid as hell. I already plan on dropping 3 tabs for this trip which is the most I've done since I've only been dropping a tab per trip until now.
Then, when I experience my ego-death, I am going to have my trip sitter play the audio of me reading who I want to be on the come up from my ego-death. This will be during the stage where everything is nothing to me. I may also have him play who I don't want to be when I am done with that.
Then, I'll have the rest of the trip to construct my own personality, new thoughts, and etc. What I want to do is basically forget who I am now to the point where I won't become this person again but not to the point where I forget my life in my new one. I think this is possible but it does not seem like anyone has used psychedelics in this way to this extent. I've looked all around and found nothing. I've done a lot of research on this.
That's my plan for this next trip. I am doing the self-reflection while I am waiting to get my hands on some. Anyways, tell me what you guys think. Do you think it will work. I will provide a trip report after (if the new person I am even remembers to). Do you guys have any tips for forcing an ego-death on an acid trip though? Like, forreal, drop as many ideas as you can. I understand that by wanting an ego death, I am defending myself from an ego death but I have various parts of my mind blocked out from myself for that very reason. So, if you guys could drop some ideas on how to do this, let me know! Also, tell me what you think about this. I want to know what you guys think since most of you are more experienced or at least knowledgeable than me.
Here are the screenshots of what I'm talking about.
The 'Who I Want To Be' Document https://imgur.com/AaXSM6f
The 'Who Am I' Document: https://imgur.com/IjhxSNj
So I have recently been wanting to have an ego death while tripping. I am not satisfied with who I am, and I want to be someone else. From what I understand about ego deaths is that they strip you of who you are and you become a new person afterward. Now, I believe that who you become afterward is who you are supposed to be in that current time in life. I've always been a believer that you can be who you want to be when you want to be. So, before you guys say anything, I understand that what I want to be done I can just do on my own sober. However, the problem I have with that is that it would take too long. If what I want to do works, then it can happen instantaneously. So, I want to induce an acid-ego death.
The reason I'm doing this is also tied to my last trip where I came close to having an ego death. Literally, I was having such a bad trip that I passed out for no more than 2 seconds. Instead of just laying there, accepting I was 'dead', I thought to myself I could still live. I don't have to accept death just because I 'jumped off a building'. (I was convinced what I was seeing was an illusion and that I was really on top of a building, tripping, about to fall off if I crossed a certain line on the ground. Needless to say, I convinced myself I did fall off that building and die.) So, I held on and kept telling myself to not give in or I would die and I had to stick it out for the rest of the trip in the hell I was in (I was at a party in the middle of nowhere and I had nowhere to go or I would get lost). So, I basically prevented my own ego-death but I still got close because I literally felt what it was like to die.
Anyways, now, for personal reasons, I want to become this whole new person. So, I came up with this plan. What I have been doing is I have been doing a lot of self-reflection. I have, in my mind, an image of who I want to be. The qualities I wish to have, the person I want to look like, and the values I wish to possess. I have it all in my mind. So, I have been creating a word document of who I want to be, going through all the fine little things and covering it in extensive detail.
Now, in order to do that, I have to know who I am. So, I have also been creating a document of who I am. I cover every small thing about myself. I have been doing an extreme amount of self-reflection. I have been doing a lot of self-reflection for most of my life so it's not hard but I took it up a notch. I'm thinking about making a document of who I don't want to be.
What I want to do with all of this information is put it all in my trip. I am going to record myself reading every word from these documents and I am going to sit in a dark room and just listen to my own words. To start, I am going to listen to the 'Who am I' document which will force me to think about myself to such a degree that I may have an ego-death. I say may but I have a backup plan. If all else fails, I'll take more acid or smoke a lot of weed since that makes me paranoid as hell. I already plan on dropping 3 tabs for this trip which is the most I've done since I've only been dropping a tab per trip until now.
Then, when I experience my ego-death, I am going to have my trip sitter play the audio of me reading who I want to be on the come up from my ego-death. This will be during the stage where everything is nothing to me. I may also have him play who I don't want to be when I am done with that.
Then, I'll have the rest of the trip to construct my own personality, new thoughts, and etc. What I want to do is basically forget who I am now to the point where I won't become this person again but not to the point where I forget my life in my new one. I think this is possible but it does not seem like anyone has used psychedelics in this way to this extent. I've looked all around and found nothing. I've done a lot of research on this.
That's my plan for this next trip. I am doing the self-reflection while I am waiting to get my hands on some. Anyways, tell me what you guys think. Do you think it will work. I will provide a trip report after (if the new person I am even remembers to). Do you guys have any tips for forcing an ego-death on an acid trip though? Like, forreal, drop as many ideas as you can. I understand that by wanting an ego death, I am defending myself from an ego death but I have various parts of my mind blocked out from myself for that very reason. So, if you guys could drop some ideas on how to do this, let me know! Also, tell me what you think about this. I want to know what you guys think since most of you are more experienced or at least knowledgeable than me.
Here are the screenshots of what I'm talking about.
The 'Who I Want To Be' Document https://imgur.com/AaXSM6f
The 'Who Am I' Document: https://imgur.com/IjhxSNj