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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

EADD Heroin Discussion v. XXII -- Brucey Bonus Beetles all round!

Heard you're on methadone. Hope it goes well. Good luck with everything x

Evey
 
First little relapse today, got a gram of some fantastic dope from NL, real fucking nice stuff, quite possibly the 15 days off that has made this all the more lush but s'all good!!

One little treat every month or 2 wont hurt ;)
 
I hated calling them relapses as it just seemed like a way NA makes you feel worse about yourself and 'now you have to start from scratch'.

Also gives people a reason to keep going rather than just be like 'I used x for x amount of days and now I've gotten it out of my system I can move on'.

Blah. Enjoy. Not too much :p
 
So called 'relapses' are just a natural part of the recovery process. However, I believe that true recovery only begins when the relapses stop...
 
Well, when you've been off the gear long enough, you can afford a little hit once in awhile .....

Seriously, though: It wasn't all that long ago, measured in generations, that our prehistoric ancestors were facing a precarious struggle for existence every single day of their short lives. Nowadays, we tend to forget that the default state is "dead", and "alive" is a temporary aberration. Recreational drugs that work by mimicking the various natural hormones produced by the body in life-or-death situations are actually quite recoverable, at least if you only have a one-night blast; because not being able to get through another life-or-death situation after you have just got through one, is not so conducive to passing on your genes. We are still retaining the ability to deal with extreme survival situations. Fiftieth birthdays are a recent invention. As recently as a hundred years ago, the single biggest cause of death was childbirth. So it is not surprising that we have not yet lost the ability to stare death in the face and then come back for more.

But the body employs multiple negative-feedback loops. Multi-day stimulant or opioid binges can convince the body to reduce its background level of the hormones whose effect those drugs mimic; meaning discontinuation of the results in symptoms until normal production is resumed.

About the worst thing you can do if you fall off the wagon is beat yourself up about it. This is what I hate so much about the "twelve step" programmes: the entire hypothesis that you are a helpless wretch with no ability to control yourself, and must surrender to some "higher power". I don't hate anyone that much, certainly not myself, and I refuse to be denied agency like that. Each of us is the final arbiter of our own destiny -- there is no "higher power", everything that happens to any of us is something that we have chosen -- whether or not we knew what choice we were making.
 
I am not beating myself up bout it in the slightest, I knew it would happen, Only ordered enough for a night of fun which was had! got a little bit left now but no urge to go cop more, methadone has really helped in that respect!
 
Never did I anticipate the day I could have a few points of decent B within arms reach and have no urge to touch it...

Could be related to fucking up textbook-style yesterday and forgetting to account for a massive drop in tolerance, couldn't even keep a sip of water down for a good 8 hours after my last dose. Was really just thankful I didn't have any lingering BZD's or booze in my system.
 
I would love to be able to do that whole "having gear about and not touching it" like I used to be able to.

Unfortunately, the stuff I scored last night was the not-so-good stuff my dealer sometimes has. Darker shade of brown than usual, runs badly leaving lots of beetle turds and prone to spontaneous flare-ups.
 
It helps massively that I have no WD to anticipate and so have no rationalisation for continuous dosing.
Half the time I was addicted I didn't even really want the next shot, I simply needed the next 8-12 hours to not be spent in agony.
I have ~0.3 left which is much better used in one session in a few days/weeks than it is rationed into sequential daily doses of temptation.
 
Sprout said:
It helps massively that I have no WD to anticipate and so have no rationalisation for continuous dosing.
Half the time I was addicted I didn't even really want the next shot, I simply needed the next 8-12 hours to not be spent in agony.
I have ~0.3 left which is much better used in one session in a few days/weeks than it is rationed into sequential daily doses of temptation.
Click to expand...

I've recently acquired my old dealer's number and haven't had the slightest inclination to call him. I believe I could sit there with a pile of smack in front of me and ignore it completely.
 
Not to be a spectre but I'm well aware my own use indicates the underlying mindset was never gone...
Went for a late pint in my quiet little town and bumped into a couple I had gotten twatted with (I tried to perform the dance from Footloose with a random attractive young lady who rugby tackled me...) a few months prior. A few pints in the idea of a bag of Coke for an afterparty came up, went through his connects and twenty minutes later I had 2g of Crack instead of soft... instant descent into junkiedom ensued with my mentioning that I generally preferred brown but had been clean a while, and dude coincidentally was shifting H too...

It's hard to separate it being a result of low tolerance or actual purity but a half gram over two days isn't something I'm accustomed to.
Nor do I wish to become accustomed to much again...
 
has any1 heard from hexagram lately, hpe hes ok, i was just thinking i havent seen ote of him in ages.
 
No I haven't seen him on here since February sorry n I'm not sure if anyone is in contact with him. It is a bit worrisome especially as he has suicidal tendencies. Hopefully he is just getting on with life n all is ok.
[MENTION=273217]hexagram[/MENTION] if you see this please can you pop on Bluelight n let us know you're doing OK. We just care that's all <3

Evey
 
I have been comparing heroin from the dark net. Heroin from the UK is often white-ish or very light brown while from Germany the heroin is of a more dark-brown colour. Is there big differences in the quality and state of heroin from one similar EU country to another?

I know it isn't worth much discussing on behalf of photos and you can't say anything about quality etc from a photo. I have just noticed that heroin with one appearance dominate one country while it is different in another and I find it worth knowing why it is possible to discover such a pattern?
 
I'm in the UK and I've come across both light fluffy powder and dark brown rocks - can't say the effects have been markedly different so I just put it down to cuts really.
 
How many people here have brought from the DN and how was your experience with it?
 
I have a few times - it beats buying off the street in almost every category I can think of.

All you miss out on is that hurried junkie walk to and from the spot, now replaced by a letter through the door and a run down some stairs to grab it....
 
Ignio said:
I have been comparing heroin from the dark net. Heroin from the UK is often white-ish or very light brown while from Germany the heroin is of a more dark-brown colour. Is there big differences in the quality and state of heroin from one similar EU country to another?

I know it isn't worth much discussing on behalf of photos and you can't say anything about quality etc from a photo. I have just noticed that heroin with one appearance dominate one country while it is different in another and I find it worth knowing why it is possible to discover such a pattern?
Click to expand...

#4 H is white and exists typically of the HCl salt of Diamorphine, allowing intranasal and IV use due to high organic solubility. The brown/tan/grey powder and rocks in the UK are the freebase form along with typically 30-50% Caffeine to create a eutectic, and ultimately easily vapourised, mixture requiring an acidification step before injection.

Fug said:
I have a few times - it beats buying off the street in almost every category I can think of.

All you miss out on is that hurried junkie walk to and from the spot, now replaced by a letter through the door and a run down some stairs to grab it....
Click to expand...

It can be a dangerous game jumping from street and back due to artificially creating an extra discrepancy in consistency of purity - I could shoot multiple bags of average H but a point of 70% DN #4 would gouch me.
 
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Yeah I don't buy off the street for that reason (as well as not wanting to associate with other drug addicts) - the quality doesn't compare - I may have not had the best hookups but it was pretty standard stuff that was going around east london at the time.

Shooting multiple bags of DN stuff would almost certainly kill me too. My tolerance is no where near it was when I was buying off the street though.
 
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