tbh im not even sure, i think its been about a month since i stopped daily use, but have had about 3 relapses, twice on bupe, once on poppy pods, both very long duration half life and eliminiation opis. They are so not worth it, allthough they bought immense relief for one day, ive felt awful for the next 2 days, and then allthough the worst of the physical dependency thing is over, the healing is taking ages, and the relapses are just delaying my recovery in the longer term. I know all this but ive kept doing it.
As ive come this far i am going to stick with it, but was very tempted to use the "terrible time of year to stop" excuse and get back on it until March or something, but i may be just a few days, a week, a few weeks, away from recovery, its the not knowing how fucking long is the worst thing.
Anyway I need to keep things in perspective. This is the first time in my life in been in feeling in unknown length bad physical health, once this is over and done with I wont take my health for granted any more. Had it been a better time of year it would be much easier to get out for walks and bike rides and stuff to try to rebuild my stamina.
Thankyou for your continued support and advice. It is appreciated.