Psychlone Jack
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2005
- Messages
- 7,316
I'm not asking anyone for help anymore. They say at the time they don't mind, but at the first chance it's thrown back in my face. My position is a big enough burden by itself, and I'm not going to have it, and your charity, used against me as a weapon. If I swim I swim, and if I sink, I fucking sink. I know I fucked up in the past, and I'm trying with every fiber of my being to stay clean so I don't do it again. And thank you for bailing me out of my mistake(s).
But I refuse to let you shame me with it anymore. Just because I won't bend over backwards at your every little whim and fancy, when I'm in fact trying to do the reasonable thing, that makes me an ungrateful bastard? No.
I love you, but fuck you for that. Like I said, I'm done asking you for help. I know you're going to perceive this as me being petty, withdrawn and trifling, and you're probably even going to accuse me of relapsing.
I'm just done. I'm not going to give you any more ammo, I'm taking your trump card off the table. It's time for me to either man up and show out, or prove myself to be the fucking failure you see me as.
Whichever way it turns out, I'll have the satisfaction or affirmation of knowing that *I* earned it.
I love you, but fuck your self-absorbed charity.
But I refuse to let you shame me with it anymore. Just because I won't bend over backwards at your every little whim and fancy, when I'm in fact trying to do the reasonable thing, that makes me an ungrateful bastard? No.
I love you, but fuck you for that. Like I said, I'm done asking you for help. I know you're going to perceive this as me being petty, withdrawn and trifling, and you're probably even going to accuse me of relapsing.
I'm just done. I'm not going to give you any more ammo, I'm taking your trump card off the table. It's time for me to either man up and show out, or prove myself to be the fucking failure you see me as.
Whichever way it turns out, I'll have the satisfaction or affirmation of knowing that *I* earned it.
I love you, but fuck your self-absorbed charity.