Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

[Georgie25]

"Hey is Dee dee home" and "Born to lose" is about johnny thunders and dee dee ramones heroin use. The deedee one is on google video.

Where did you guys find that grino movie? Anyone got a link?

 

[drug_wench]

Hey all,
I just wanted to make a comment on something I read while doing some research on the SSRI's (newer antidepressants-Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, etc etc) It comes from a book by one of the most highly recognized Phd's who's studying these drugs as we speak...wrote in the book, "Listening To Prozac" (and then I read "Talking back To Prozac", to get the other side of the coin) and anyway, he stated that for some people, an opiate and only an opiate would qwell? calm? cure? real diagnosed anxiety, in mamy people.
I found that interesting, and thought that I'd share it. I suffer from severe anxiety, and thought that like most anxieties, it was/is "fear based". Not so. Seems I was born with-it, inherited it from my own mother, thru genes.
There are some brilliant people on this site. I've seen them. Please don't put me or what I say down, or criticize what I'm trying to say...it is what it is, and I'm only meaning well.
(There's proof of some anxiety right there!! Ha!

Thanks, C

christopher - i can relate to this
i hav 3 anxiety disorders (or originally had 3, one was 'cured' thru CBT - panic disorder - tho as im coming off valium ive bn having panic atacks again)
the other 2 r generalised anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder
often ppl with ADHD suffer from anxiety, and i also hav ADHD (wen ur head is constantly bombarded with millions of thoughts the way it is wen u hav ADHD it does make u anxious!)

i originally turned to methamphetamine due to my anxiety cos it helped with my ADHD symptoms, which in turn helped with my anxiety
however the comedown from meth was so awful i got anxious from that too - that was wen i discovered first morphine and homebake, then heroin
then later oxycodone, which wud b my fav opiate after heroin

i guess i found CBT helped so much with my panic disorder that im willing to try and deal with my severe anxiety thru various forms of therapy if i can before going on meds for the rest of my life tho

boy do i know the power of opiates wen it comes to anxiety tho.....

so r u on suboxone urself? i didnt quite get wat u were saying in ur post
i realise ur not on methadone anymore but u made it sound like ur on something legal....and i gather if thats not done its subs?

suboxone is expensive here too - 98$$ per month for a 2mg pill, 550$ per month for an 8mg pill
im currently on 21mg and needing to go up sooner or later
so u can see why im looking into methadone, liquid handcuffs or not

suboxone ties u down here too anyway - u hav to get it from a pharmacy daily and they watch u take it to make sure u dont snort it
i havnt bn on it long enough to get takeaways and im esp not allowed them yet cos i inject water
so really suboxone here is....'dissolving handcuffs'.....
main reason i prefer it over methadone is its eaier to get off and its less sedating, in fact it helps me with motivation
usually wen ive just come out of detox im so demotivated from opiate PAWS - not this time

 

[Carl Landrover]

I'm going on a real, actual vacation with my girlfriend in less than 3 weeks. I'm really excited, but really nervous at the same time. My mood has been fluctuating a lot again because I've been using and I really want to be in more of a stable mind when we go [to South Carolina! ]

I was hoping to be off of suboxone by then, but I think I'll still be using it. I just hope it's a really low dose, so I could sneak it in. I think I'll be ok, mood-wise, if I can stay away from dope until then (well not tonight and probably not tomorrow night either ).

I always start doubting myself on dope and it's definitely starting right now. This will be the first time we'll be together for more than 48 hours and it seems like a big step to see if we'd really work out if we moved in together.
I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up and she'll change her mind about wanting to live with me. When I think of my future, the only consistentcy is that she is in it...I don't know what I'll do if I fuck this up. That's one reason I always feel guilty when I spend money on drugs. I like to think I'd rather spend it on something for her or for us, but I guess not.

Just got back from this vacation this morning....it was amazing!!!!! We hadn't had much time to see each other lately with work and school, but this was a whole week with just me and her!

The ONLY thing that really sucked [sucks] is now I'm back home and when I get home from work or school or just being out, she's not here. I'd do anything to get to live with her....it would be soo amazing to come home and just be able to give her a kiss or smell her hair, even just seeing her face would be wonderful. :D :D

Now that I know we would actually work well living together, I can't wait for that point. It gives me even more of a reason to be clean. :D



I'm going to be honest here though...with the exception of 90 minutes, I've been up for the last 34 hours, 14 hours of which were spent driving (me actually behind the wheel). It's also the last day of spring break and it's disappointing being back in Connecticut and not being with her...so naturally I called up dope boy.

I say this a lot, but I really feel different this time, like something awoke inside me when we were together on vacation. Dope doesn't give true happiness like she does.

 

[zzITCHY420zz]

this blows..my connect got locked up, and hardly got any options to cop anymore , terrible circumstances.

 

[drug_wench]

to get u all up-to-date - hav bn told by my methadone doctor that i react diffrently to suboxone to most ppl
my tolerance to it is abnormal apparently - i tend to need to up my dose evry month or so at the most and withdrawals usually start at least a week after upping my dose
soon ill hav reached the top dose and wat happens wen i get tolerant to that????

he said it might b cos of my ADHD but hes seen it in other ppl whove tried suboxone before and its possibly to do with the fact ive bn off and on it for so many yrs as a detox drug, fuck knows why
anyway my doctor, methadone counsellor and drug counsellor just hav to meet together for some reason unknown to me (since they all agree that the best thing to do is switch me to methadone) then once all the official craps bn done im sposed to switch to MMT

as ive used methadone recreationally in the past i know how i react to it and how fast my tolerance builds up (a lot slower than on bupe!)
and its free so i might as well make the switch then wen im finally off the valium and no longer suffering valium withdrawals i can go into detox and come off the done (or drop my level over a few detoxes till i can switch back to subs and jump off)

thats my ultimate plan anyway
i never wanted to end up on MMT but its got to b better than this life....

 

[xxkcxx]

^ good luck to you DW...you deserve good things, so I hope this works for you

 

[KittyLazarus]

anyone wants to see a ruthless documentary about addiction check out the HBO documentary Dope Sick Love. Follows 2 homeless heroin/crack addicted couples as they live their lives in downtown NYC doin scams to get money, copping drugs, sneaking in apartment building hallways to shoot up, using old dull needles and toilet water(i think) in a fast food restaurant bathroom. There is no narrator. It was like watching a trainwreck. Painful to watch, but I couldnt take my eyes off it

sounds like me about a year ago..... ughhh shivers run up my spine

 

[KittyLazarus]

^^

Thanks for taking the time. I get off on the genre of drug use/abuse movies, along with the normal "junkie" books. Anyone else know of any that I could find/watch or read???

Greatly appreciated, Christopher
PS Love(!) Leaving Las Vegas!!

check out a thread i started "best drug memoirs"
this one guy has got the most EXTENSIVE list EVER!!!!!

 

[twominds]

Chalk me up . 12 years of opiate /opioid addiction. On Methadone maitenance , again.
Heroin , methadone , oxycontin, MS contin and buprenorphine at times when off methadone.
Havent had a opiate free week since I was 17 . (12 years) Hope to one day.......

 

[donkeyPUNCH]

holler.

the usual, trying to stay clean, failing mostly. but trying.

2 1/2 or 3 years now on opiates, maybe 1 1/2 or 2 on dope. fuckin' sucks.

just recently really starting doing some shady shit and its got to me real bad so I'm really depressed lately. hopefully things will look up soon.

 

[formanchristopher]

Drug memoirs

check out a thread i started "best drug memoirs"
this one guy has got the most EXTENSIVE list EVER!!!!!

^^Thank you Kitty. Truly appreciated, and I will do my best to find your thread. Am I correct in going to the "Search" area, or Archives, or???? Any help pointing this semi-new dude in the right direction, when you have time, would be greatly appreciated.

I can't wait!!!

Christopher

 

[microtel]

I sure as hell don't feel like reading or searching 39 pages of dark drama. My first day off opiates suck. Weened off heroin same method I always use: CWE 10mg Hydrocodone via legal prescription. Usually 8tabs a day then slowly 6, then 4, then none, now all I have is Trazadone/Klonopins for sleep and lisinopril for high blood pressure. I know nothing of "bups" or "subox" or any other weird drug constantly mentioned in BL.

It began as a nasty factory accident, the docs/nurses IM Demoral me every hour on the hour for 48 hrs. Best high ever. Been chasing it ever since. Then later Vicodin was prescribed, it came close, then later I found heroin, it comes the closest, and fact is, I'm happier and productive on it and miss it. So fuck you all very much!

 

[fentafill]

hey everyone. seems like ive found the place i feel most at home here on this forum! thought i would check in and give some background on myself. my story could go on for pages, so im goign to keep in short and just tell you that i have chronic pain from back surgery, arthritis, etc. im 20 years old and ive been on pain killers for more than 6 years.

heres a list of all the opiates ive used and abused in attempt to get rid of my pain and hopefully get effed up in the process:
tramadol (not an opiate....but the very first medication i started abusing)
percocet
vicodin
oxycontin
oxymorphone (Opana)
morphine
IV ketamine
IV fentanyl
fentanyl patch

plus a list of muscle relaxers/ sleep meds/ benzos that ive used
flexeril
skelaxin
zanaflex
ambien
lorazepam
valium
klonopin

in the past week i considered trying H for the first time. but since im currently on 2 fentanyl patches, i decided against it.

anyone on here who used opiates mainly for pain management...became addicted...and eventually turned to heroin?

 

[KittyLazarus]

^^Thank you Kitty. Truly appreciated, and I will do my best to find your thread. Am I correct in going to the "Search" area, or Archives, or???? Any help pointing this semi-new dude in the right direction, when you have time, would be greatly appreciated.

I can't wait!!!

Christopher

this is how to do it:

- click on my avatar/profile
- you will see a tab titles "Statistics" --- click on it
- then you will be able to click on/view all posts made by me, AND you can view all THREADS that i've started...... in this case, titled: "Best Drug Memoirs"


i believe this is the easiest way to view posts and threads...... others correct me if i'm wrong!!!


hope that helps ya Christopher!!!!

 

[KittyLazarus]

It began at 18, nasty factory accident, the docs/nurses IM Demoral me every hour on the hour for 48 hrs. Best high ever. Been chasing it ever since. Then in my 40s Vicodin was prescribed, it came close, then at 49 I found heroin, it comes the closest, and fact is, I'm happier and productive on it and miss it. So fuck you all very much!

same deal, got hooked in the ER..... after the IV morphine "annoyed" me, I was given IV dilaudid.....

over a day passes (apparently) and then i'm let out with a 'scrip for Vicoprofen......

after i abused all my Vics and manipulated every doctor i saw..... i began the terrible downfall of heroin abuse.


i feel your pain though man. i'm more normal on heroin/opiates, but NOW i cannot have any!!!
withdrawal sucks i gotta shower.... if i can muster the energy

 

[Pengwin]

i havent given it up yet after months of promises

theres really to much to say as why

 

[formanchristopher]

Holy Shit! It's called "Gun Powder"....

Hey folks,
The "powder" (vs. the tar) I/we have been talking about here for weeks? Well,
it's here! And not only that, it's been here. I've just been out of the picture due to Suboxone, etc.
Check this out...it is being cut with Fentynal(sp). Talk about getting high? More
like let's talk about OD's. Went out in the sunshine yesterday, nice bike ride, and went to some old haunting grounds, places I should not be around(parole,etc) and caught up with some of my boys who are still in the game.
One of my closest partners(who isn't dead yet, as they are all dying lately)
is just now starting a 5-6 yr. stint in the pen, for Sales(we call it Delivery, here)
and the stuff he was selling or using it turns out, is called Gun Powder, w/ the said fentynal above in it, too. Told me by letter yesterday that not only could he not sleep for 1 1/2 months(this is cold turkey from heroin-not methadone), but it's by far the worst kick he's EVER experienced. And coming from a dude that was selling bags all day, so he could use all day, and as I know him, well that is saying ALOT>

Anyway, I hear the tar is still out here, but the gun powder took over the streets(Central Oregon) a year or more ago. Ahh, how I miss that rush....

Peace out fellow junkies!!

 

[formanchristopher]

PS.
Has anyone else, anywhere else, heard of this term "gun powder"?????

 

[xxkcxx]

^ I believe they use the term "china white" here for the heroin/fent mix.

I think they use that term elsewhere for just heroin, but idk...that is just what I have heard here.

 

[Hendrix Haze15]

PS.
Has anyone else, anywhere else, heard of this term "gun powder"?????

Dude, I first heard about the gun powder dope like 5 years ago. I was talking to some old timer junkies who told me that they knew a bunch of people who OD'd on the stuff because it was cut with fentanyl. If I can remember right, I think they said the stuff looked like gun powder, like the dope had a grayish color to it. That was the only time I had heard about it though.