• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

June Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs It's Finally Beach Weather!

Captain.Heroin

Captain.Heroin

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
94,868
This thread is for anyone who wants to get or is staying sober. Everyone is welcome to post in this thread. Please adhere to the Bluelight User Agreement and Sober Living Forum Guidelines.


large.jpg



thread for May​
 
May was fine I stayed clean so I can't complain much
Hopefully June will be a really good month
Wish everyone the best
 
I continue to work on my taper/increasing the amount of time between doses with eventual goal of being totally clean off of opiates. May was the first time in a year that I went more than a day without pills... I had two periods of time with 30+ hours between dosages. It might not seem like a lot, but it was a struggle, and I was able to do it with the support and education I found here on Bluelight. I am hopeful that in June I will be able to have a couple of 48 hour time periods clean from drugs. Sending everyone here positive and joyful energy to start the month!
 
Congrats to totach! You're doing great :)

And props to poke mama for cutting back an working on her taper :D
 
I know what you mean though pokemama

It was so hard for me to go 24 hours without buprenorphine when I was using.

It's a huge step in the right direction <3
 
greetings, fellow travelers. i'm looking forward to a good month. i read through all of the May getting sober thread. a lot of folks made good progress. really impressive!

i thought it was funny--kind of--that my first post in may said i had 11 days clean. well, my first post of june: 11 days clean... again. but i do feel like i learned a few things during May about why i keep lapsing. we'll see if i can translate that into more clean time this month.

peace,
Sim
 
I wanted to send a special shout out to xburtonchic for getting 11 days and counting :)
 
Thanx captain you're a big motivator for me
As is everyone in these threads evreything you guys post I get something out of it
The fact that you do not give up no matter what is amazing
I was just there 4 months ago and this thread helps me never want to go thru it ever again
But as you can see I've bin a member for a long time and had countless relapses and documented them here on bluelight
I didn't give up tho and I'm pretty happy with where I'm at today 4 months off Benzo and opiates
You guys got this
 
Hello. I just wanted to stop in, say hello. Congrats to everyone, especially xburton on her 11 days ....,that feels like a lifetime away right now. Physically I'm feeling a lot better than I thought, but mentally and emotionally I'm a wreck. I'm miserable, agitated, just very grumpy I guess. I have a couple of fentanyl patches and pretty soon I'm going to have to throw them out or im going to stick them on my body-although I'm not sure that will do much for me. Anyway, im rambling. Sorry. I'll check back tomorrow
thanks for listening
 
totach said:
Thanx captain you're a big motivator for me
As is everyone in these threads evreything you guys post I get something out of it
The fact that you do not give up no matter what is amazing
I was just there 4 months ago and this thread helps me never want to go thru it ever again
But as you can see I've bin a member for a long time and had countless relapses and documented them here on bluelight
I didn't give up tho and I'm pretty happy with where I'm at today 4 months off Benzo and opiates
You guys got this
Click to expand...

thanks man :)

My biggest motivation to stay clean now is to stay in my relationship, and to continue moving forward with life. I look back on the last few years and realize I have very little to show for it, aside from the work I've put into my novel.
 
Imtryin said:
Hello. I just wanted to stop in, say hello. Congrats to everyone, especially xburton on her 11 days ....,that feels like a lifetime away right now. Physically I'm feeling a lot better than I thought, but mentally and emotionally I'm a wreck. I'm miserable, agitated, just very grumpy I guess. I have a couple of fentanyl patches and pretty soon I'm going to have to throw them out or im going to stick them on my body-although I'm not sure that will do much for me. Anyway, im rambling. Sorry. I'll check back tomorrow
thanks for listening
Click to expand...

I read your posts...I was so hoping you ended up on this June sobriety thread, as I strongly believe that you belong here. I am short for time atm, but can see how motivated you are... I mean, you threw your pills away! Post as often as you need to in order to vent, to ask for support, or to support others. Also, there are some people here who are extremely knowledgeable about opioid withdrawal, and since you are quitting codeine, they can be sooo helpful.
 
woke up at 3:30 am after a vivid using dream (actually, a buying dream) and couldn't fall back asleep. my clean time from opiates is starting to climb toward the two-week mark, and i've found that for me, it's between two weeks and a month that i keep falling off. but at this point i've brought the people closest to me (my wife and my best friend) into my recovery: swore total honesty every day to both of them when it comes to drugs. so far, they've both been kind and non-judgmental. but i can feel myself veering towards a lapse, and this time i'll have an audience to disappoint. fuck.

it's so easy to lie.

it would be so easy to cop and keep it to myself.

the NA literature often claims that motivated addicts can lose the *desire* to use. anyone out there willing to discuss this, especially how long it took for them to see even a little relief from cravings? obviously, it's gonna vary from person to person. but anecdotes would be better than no info. i've been going for months now of building up increments of clean time, only to see a sustained craving pull me down.

sorry. rambling. just a frustrating couple of days.

have a good day, everyone.
-Sim
 
^Those dreams suck. I always wake up with intense cravings for drugs. It normally goes away if I keep myself occupied though. I think with enough clean time, the majority of cravings will go away. If you spend enough years building a solid foundation for yourself, you'll get to a point where the cravings will be a minor annoyance you can brush off easily. It depends on your history and length of use, your personal disposition and physiology, etc. Obviously the longer you've been using and at higher doses and the older you are the tougher it'll be.I figure personally in two years I should be considerably better than the last two years I was using.

I'm two weeks out of Benzo detox and nearly a month out of opiate detox and i'm feeling good. You couldn't pay me to go back to benzos.

Opiates, maybe, but it'd have to be a shitload...like, really, a lot.

All the best peoples. Go out and make life yours.
 
Last edited:
Hello. I wish i had something intelligent to say. I cant even think clearly. I felt better yesterday, whays up with that? Its day 3 and it terrible. Cold/hot/cold/hot. Ive had 2 showers today and i think i smell bad? Omg. This is terrible. Someone said 5 days, i will feel like this for 5 days? Sould i take more gabapentin? I took 4 yesterday and 2 so far today. Used up my ativan so thats it. I didnt throw out the fentenayl patcchesi found- i keep looking at them though. I really need to thow them out.
Im sorry for thr negative post. Im alone. I cant tell anyone. My work and family think i have the flu. I just lost my mom and my dad, so i cant go home and visit-my mom would have taken good care of me......ok, now im getting sad.... This is ridiculois.
Im sorry. Ill try to caome back more postive later. I have 3 days clean. Thanks for listening.
 
I know what you all mean about the dreams. I still get them from time to time. They should pass. <3

stay strong guys. congrats to imtryin for your 3 days; that's an amazing step in the right direction. :)
 
I've got a month and 3 days clean from psychedelics. I still get urges and thoughts about using, but I am hopeful that I will let them pass without using. That's one helpful skill I learned in rehab, to let the urges to use pass like a wave, just ride the wave safely to shore. Because the urges to use really do come on like waves, for me at least. And it seems like the further and further along in my fight against my drug abuse, the less massive the waves become. I expect that at some point they will be just little ripples, hardly anything to use over. I am optimistic about how my life will proceed from here. I am working part time for my dad, and saving up money, which I might use to travel or to save up for a farm(I want to be a farmer, and in fact I have a healthy garden right now), or both. I do not want to spend any of the money on drugs though, other than a small bag of weed every week. Hope everyone else is doing well with y'all's sobriety. Another good thing right now is that the local university is out of session for the summer, so all the people that stand around and sell acid and molly are gone. I hope when they get back I will be strong enough to resist trying to buy from them.
 
Last edited:
Hello friends. I have a quick question.....so far i am managing the physical part of my withdrawl off of 700mg of codeiene daily with 4 gabapenetin daily. Plus a bunch of vitamins, and immodium. Im going to run out of the gaba's in 2 more days. Am i going to get hit with some awful physical withdrawls after they are gone? So between the 5 and 6 day mark i will be out of them.
Thanks for your help
 
Still around and still clean, just busy. I've been hitting my meeting a day and tomorrow will be my 30th day of continuous call ins and I'll officially have a sponsor. I've actually chaired a couple of meetings when the regular chair was gone and have gotten a little more active into the business/service end off the local NA chapter. I redesigned the meetings time/day list and made copies and started attending the business meetings. Just puddle stuff mostly.

Today I went in for voluntary intake screen with the local treatment center. I was straight up about not doing a residential inpatient program in the town that I live in from the start, for multiple reasons, and they recommended a 4 week intensive outpatient 9-5 program. It's basically the same as inpatient but I leave at the end of the day and go home. My other available options are a three hour a day, three day a week, 9-noon or 5-8pm program lasting 6 weeks.

I'm not sure what, if anything, I'll end up doing at this point, but I'm leaning toward maybe the morning 6 week class and starting individual counseling session with a licensed addiction/mental health counsellor.

Good job to everyone. Keep strong Sim, make it past the 2 week mark and POke, may June bring 48 hours..
 
Hey guys! My posts have been few and far between lately. Lots of stuff happening for me this coming up month. I have to move soon and stuff so I've been busy, also working on staying clean of course... I've tapered down quite a bit and I think it's safe to say I'm going to try this for June. I used today but I'm gonna start my clean time at June 3rd, 2015.
Some crazy shit has happened, two people I deal with died within two weeks of eachother. One was a friend, not a very close friend but a friend nonetheless.... it's just messed up. There's some sketchy fent going around town lately that Ive been offered and I'm glad to say I've turned it down every time cause that shit is so dangerous and now I know two people who have died from an OD last month.... I don't wanna be one of them! I'm so out, done with it for good. I know I've said it a million times like every other junkie but I really wanna say I'm serious this time. People I know are dying now, this isn't cool. I'm getting out before I'm next!

As for everyone else, I hope you all have a great night and stay safe!! :)
 
Olypen and Verri, glad to see you this month!

Yesterday totally sucked for me, attitude-wise. All I could think about all day was dope, and I was pissed at myself (and anyone who happened to be handy) about it. Wound up calling numbers all evening from my NA list, which kinda helped. So far, I feel better today, though.

Verri, sorry to hear about the lost folks. A friend of mine died from an OD last week. We have that fent circulating here too. But I think in his case it was at least kinda on purpose--he was so sick of being addicted. I don't know about you, but the weird thing to me about his death is how little it impacted my desire to use. It's like the time I OD'd. I waited about a day and came back for more. Same with my friend: his passing makes me sad, but I'm more than ready to drop another quarter in the ass-kicking machine.

Good luck today, everyone.
-Sim
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top