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June Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs It's Finally Beach Weather!

day 23 for me.

yesterday was a weird one: felt all crawly and fucked up all day (eventually had insomnia when i tried to sleep). it was exactly the kind of day that gives me trouble in recovery. but i did make it through without using.

here's hoping today is easier and the outcome is the same.
 
This Saturday I'll have 10 weeks clean from psychedelics and 2 weeks clean from weed! My life is so much better than when I was using! Good job to everyone for staying with recovery!
 
havent frequented BL in over a year. came to check out what "sober living" area was all about.

i am 8 months and 3 weeks into complete abstinence....no alcohol, no marijuana, no opiates, no benzos, no amphetamines, no mind altering substances of any kind...NOTHING.

....will spare ya'll my opinion on the subject but it definitely wasn't all me. blessed with many situations that led me to this.

infinite love and gratitude.

-=Memphis=-
 
phactor said:
Oh man, it just seems that everyday I am reading something that has been especially picked out for my situation... today's Just for Today (NA Daily Meditation) is just what I need:


June 22

Accepting life as it is

“In our recovery, we find it essential to accept reality. Once we can do this, we do not find it necessary to use drugs in an attempt to change our perceptions.”

Basic Text, p. 90

––––=––––

Drugs used to buffer us from the full force of life. When we stop using drugs and enter recovery, we find ourselves confronted directly with life. We may experience disappointment, frustration, or anger. Events may not happen the way we want them to. The self-centeredness we cultivated in our addiction has distorted our perceptions of life; it is difficult to let go of our expectations and accept life as it is.

We learn to accept our lives by working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. We discover how to change our attitudes and let go of character defects. We no longer need to distort the truth or to run from situations. The more we practice the spiritual principles contained in the steps, the easier it becomes to accept life exactly as it comes to us.

––––=––––

Just for today: I will practice self-acceptance by practicing the Twelve Steps.

Copyright © 1991-2015 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved


----

Feeling a little bit better today, hitting the gym before morning. My ex-GF always told me to not get "too big" well know I don't have to worry about that. Don't get me wrong, my first thought this morning was "we are broken up" but then its how I decided to respond to that, which was prayer and meditation and then just getting the fuck out of bed and deciding to hit the gym in the morning. That was I can do recovery work and I might even go to an Al-Anon meeting tonight.
Click to expand...

I am glad i found someone on the forum who is going the NA/AA way.

i just started my 4th step (time to put in work). dude, send me a PM. I am always looking to rap about recovery with legit people.
 
well Its been since june 6 since i've had any meth....

i made it about 2 weeks before the crushing "meh" - bored , depressed, dull feeling got the best of me and I bought some heroin (which is another drug from my past which I've been flirting with on/off for about 8 months, and it was years before I had done any before that)

now when I buy heroin , I usually pick up 2 grams, and smoke it with my bandmates/roomates non-stop for about 2-3 days until its all gone, with a focus on getting some music shit done , usually performing or recording.... its really great for performing.

whats funny is since I've quit the meth, my energy levels are like through the roof... I can't sleep at night, I crave to go skateboarding or run or I feel like i'm going to go crazy... but I always have this severe lack of dopamine that makes it almost impossible to enjoy life, even if im consciously aware of it. I was on heavy doses of meth for probably the last 2 1/2 years... and before that I've been on high dose adderall/meth since at least when i was kid and the school put me on it.

I know i got to stop buying heroin , even if i am only smoking it, and doing it occasionally... I also smoke incredible amounts of weed to help cope with the lack of amphetamines....


In truth today I went to the doctor and grabbed a scipt for 60 mg adderall a day... and 100 mg trazadone ... (to help me sleep while I have the minor heroin withdrawals that will happen night after tomorrow)

i've got to be patient with my brain chemistry

wish me luck
 
Doing okay, I have so much shit keep happening to me. The most recent one was the family dog tearing her ACL. Still feeling depressed from the breakup, GF and I have no talked in 2 weeks. Got really depressed last night. Thankfully I got the day off of work, I worked out yesterday but I am going to go to the gym to walk. Then I need to finish a paper and probably start on my 11 step.

Been hitting up lots of meetings...

1 year, 1 month, 24 days no mind or mood altering substances
 
MemphisX3 said:
havent frequented BL in over a year. came to check out what "sober living" area was all about.

i am 8 months and 3 weeks into complete abstinence....no alcohol, no marijuana, no opiates, no benzos, no amphetamines, no mind altering substances of any kind...NOTHING.

....will spare ya'll my opinion on the subject but it definitely wasn't all me. blessed with many situations that led me to this.

infinite love and gratitude.

-=Memphis=-
Click to expand...
Grats man!


Checking in: 22 months off heroin. I am also clean of benzos which has been a longer battle for me.
 
Imtryin said:
Hey snort and CH-congratulations to both of you on such awesome achievements.
CH-looking forward to seeing you get 8 months-will that be the longest you've gone?
i guess I less than a week away from one month

im going through a pretty tough time right now dealing with some issues with my daughter, and she sent me this link. I thought it was profound. For some reason I can't get it to link properly. Can anyone figure it out and post it for me?
or maybe I'm not allowed to post a link?
anyway, thanks for whatever help you can give
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7OGY1Jxp3o
Click to expand...

Wow, what an incredible daughter. <3 Made me cry to think of how incredibly wise young people truly can be. We need each other so much and often let things like age and gender, race and class and even familial relationship see each other in limiting ways. She reached through and you helped raise her to do that. What a beautiful thing for all of us. It takes a lot of unlearning to understand the concept of letting go. I struggle with it every single day. When I let it in, I am so rewarded. I like to tell myself that creating new brain pathways is slow but steady--helps me not grow impatient with myself. Thanks for sharing that.

I usually just copy the link on youtube and paste in my post--is that what you did?
 
Had a bad relapse after lots of clean time. Started with MXE and Clonozolam, then eventually led to a Heroin binge that i'm still currently in the middle of (day 3 now and still have .3g remaining). I don't really know how this got so bad I just wanted an escape from my depression/anxiety for a few days and yet here I am in deep shit again looking at possible withdrawal with no subs. Feeling really low mentally right now despite actually being high. Hopefully, i'm strong enough to get thru the upcoming minor withdrawals and put this behind me for good.
 
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